“So, a cut-to-the-navel jumpsuit means I’m still relevant, right? RIGHT?!?! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO SO NO ONE THINKS I AM IRRELEVANT? I WILL DO IT. Murder someone? Okay. Have a baby? I’ll do it. Marry some random dude after 24 hours? Done. Marry a baby after 24 hours? I CAN DO THAT. SOMEONE JUST TELL ME HOW TO STILL BE RELEVANT. I WILL DO IT. I SWEAR I WILL DO IT.”
Fug File: jumpsuit
So, I’m feeling really good about Kourtney Kardashian and her baby-daddy douchelord.
I mean, you know the old saying: The couple that matches its dock shoes and heinous ’70s reptilian jumpsuit together, stays together.
Here’s the plus, for Rose Byrne:
Now that she’s done filming Live! With Regis and Kelly, she can just climb right back into bed and take a nap in those jammies.
I like to think that — much as in Bridget Jones’s Diary, where she shows up as the only tart at what she thought was a Tarts and Vicars party (I love you, English fancy dress customs) — Yasmin Le Bon here showed up at the Serpentine Party and said, “damn it, no one told me we weren’t all dressing like Rachel Zoe Circa Summer 2006 anymore! YOU’RE ALL DEAD TO ME!”
KIM KARDASHIAN: Gee, Vera Wang, thanks so much for coming out with me and my cameras and my hideous, hideous jumpsuit today.
VERA WANG: Yep.
KIM: A LOT of designers wouldn’t deign to be on my show. Or to be snapped by the paps with me like this. ESPECIALLY given what I’m wearing right now!
KIM: And you’re wearing something noteworthily nutty yourself!
KIM: All of this combines to make me think that maybe your business needs some PR of some sort or perhaps even some cash.
VERA: No comment.
KIM: Although you DID also do Khloe’s dress, so maybe you are a secret Kardashian mega-fan!
VERA: SERIOUSLY NO COMMENT.
Thank you, Heidi Klum:
The next time someone asks me what my problem is with jumpsuits, I’m just going to direct them to this.
[Photo by: Splash]