Fug File: jumpsuit

Fug or Fine: Gwyneth Paltrow in Galvan

In the negative column, this is one of those jumpsuits that’s a) designed to look like something has been tucked violently into it, possibly to the detriment of her nethers, and b) uses fabrics on the top that photograph fairly inexpensively.

gwyneth paltrow la mer fifty years of an icon

Also, no bracelet. But it’s not ufflattering on her, and… I don’t know, at least she TRIED something slightly… not the same… with her hair? I’m reaching here. Basically, this feels like classic, standard, regular Gwyneth, and while it is DECISIVELY not interesting and I think even she is a little bored of herself, it’s also not offensive. Sigh. Did you ever think you’d miss the day when she wore butt windows? Nor did I, yet here I am.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Recent Fugs: Jumpsuits

Might as well sweep them all up in the same dustpan, no?

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]


Fug of Sight: Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad



“And yes, lovers, I do. Do you? You do. You always do. You will love me in sickness and in health –until you die, and I transfer my brain into a Science Body that is just like this one but bionic and also twenty-five – and so by the power vested in me from magic and inner goodness and a lot of juicing, I pronounce us Lopez and wife. I can do that, lovers. I am one part ladypriest, one part veil, ten parts YES. So it feels good that we should make it legal that I will allow you to adore me forever. You are welcome. Psst: I am very good at marriage. Lots of practice! You have much to learn from me! Buy a notebook.” [Photo: Getty]


Get Fug: Alyssa Milano

I’ve decided not to call this a jumpsuit.

alyssa milano

Instead, in honor of the basketball tournament, I’ll christen it a “jumpshoot.” As in:

Person #1: Hey, what are you wearing tonight?

Person #2 (turning toward mirror): I’m wearing this jump… shoot.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Fug and Fab: Jessica Chastain

Wait a minute. Do we think that’s the Letterman Dumpster, trying to disguise itself as a harmless upright piano waiting to be delivered? Is it looking up on Chastain’s bellbottomed jumpsuit and rethinking the life choice that saw it vacate that nice Park Avenue-adjacent alley outside a UES condo just to get a load of this?

Also herein: Special Guest Stars Heather Locklear, Dakota Fanning, and Kate Mara, except that one of those is a lie.

[Photos: Splash]


Fugta Ora

I can’t tell if she’s wincing, or raising the roof.

Rita Ora

Let’s hope it’s both: She’s wincing, and then raising a roof so she can crawl under it and close the door and hide inside, rather than be in public in this body sleeve. It’s like Ed Hardy started designing companion jumpsuits for a furniture company, for those who wish to be camouflaged upon their own divan.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]