Fug File: GQ

Fug the Cover: Ashton Kutcher on GQ Style in Germany

I know GQ Style in Germany is a really random choice for us to feature, but how could I resist?

Ashton Kutcher on GQ Style

Ashton Kutcher looks like a guy you are staring at through the peephole of your hotel room, where you are holed up with deep, dark second thoughts about hiring a man to escort you to that fancy black-tie business event. Because among other things, who brings a KITTEN? Are you paying extra for the kitten? Are you supposed to keep the kitten? What does the kitten MEAN, and why is it thinking about licking your pancreas clean? God, he keeps knocking and checking his phone to see if you’ve texted. Devil Cat does not blink. Does Devil Cat even HAVE eyelids? What is in German cat food?

So it’s a strange cover, is what I’m saying. “Perplexed With Kitten” is not the directive I’d have picked.


Well Played Cover: Matt Damon on GQ

There are a LOT of words on this cover. And with all those distractions, it’s to Matt Damon’s credit that he is the only place I am looking.

Matt Damon GQ Cover

I love this cover. He is… dishy. I have no idea what he’s like in his actual life, but he was exceedingly gracious to me at Fashion Week once when I was interviewing him at a Naeem Khan show, which is a situation in which far smaller-scale celebrities have refused any interviews and yet he happily — or at least COMPLETELY congenially — let me squat down in front of him and call him a Noted Womenswear Enthusiast. And this does a majestic job of celebrating his youthful hotness while also teasing up the hints of Silver Fox poking through in that hair. I do really wish they’d left “The Boy With The Toy Gun” line off and just teased the Tamir Rice story with the part in red, because the words “The Boy With The Toy Gun” next to the winsome, grinning face of a man who plays a rogue spy in the movies leaves a very strange wrong impression. The juxtaposition inadvertently trivializes what’s actually a very important piece.

As for “Classic Matt Damon,” though, if it’s a serious Matt that you covet, GQ has you covered.

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Your Afternoon Man: David Beckham on GQ


(PS: There are many many more pics over at GQ, which I suspect you will also enjoy.)


Fug or Fab the Covers: Taylor Swift, Recently

She is vaguely unrecognizable in these, am I right? Not in a way where I think she’s been overly Photoshopped. More in a way where she’s just been styled and photographed in a way that’s different enough from her usual that it warrants a second look.

[Photos: Australian Vogue, GQ]


Fug or Funny the Cover: Amy Schumer on GQ

Oh, this photo shoot. I don’t have a problem with provocative humor, but I prefer it when it’s got a clever spin to it – something beyond a basic Beavis-like chortle: Heh-heh, droid three-way — and my beef is that I can’t really find that here in this package. This is just… Star Wars fever meets Trainwreck meets people’s incessant fascination with whether Amy Schumer is a trainwreck, with the smallest drizzle of that feeling you get when you watch Showgirls and realize Elizabeth Berkeley is not on everyone else’s page. Like, is Amy Schumer still controlling whatever this joke is, or is she — however unintentionally — becoming the butt of it? Some of the pics are at least benign in their semi-pointlessness, like the cantina recast as something out of Coyote Ugly, or Princess Leia in a cab with her iPhone and her entourage, but they’re just the filling in a club sandwich where the bread is made of EYEROLL.

The cover itself is fine — dumb, sure, but it doesn’t bother me quite like some of the inside pics. Can’t Amy Schumer be the funniest person in the galaxy without fellating a light sabre? Please? Her sketches are incisive and insightful. Is this? I don’t really think so. It’s more like something an editor was yearning for an excuse to do because he grew up with a poster of Leia in that bikini on his bedroom ceiling, and once wrote a Listicle about how C-3P0 experiences pleasure. I know Amy built her career on the back of a certain fearless raunch, with jokes about sex and all manner of other things, and she did a mock version of this at GQ’s behest with saucy cover lines that appear to poke fun at the lad-mag genre (in which the Trainwreck Amy works). So maybe you could argue the art direction itself is an affectionate mockery of the medium. The problem is, if that was the case, it didn’t translate. It doesn’t really FEEL like parody. Rather, it transmits as a wannabe-titillating stunt that undercuts the compliment they’re paying her. I wish the validity of a woman’s comedy resume didn’t so often hinge on her readiness to pander to this crowd. Amy obviously may not care, of course; she’s doing fine for herself, and if this is genuinely her jam, then great, live your bliss. But I wonder if it’s ever EXHAUSTING. And the risk is that this box becomes the only place anyone wants to put you. I get that playing into it has gotten her this far, but sometimes when you pile on, all you get is clutter.

[Photos: GQ]



Your Afternoon Man: Jon Hamm on GQ, April 2015

Did I squeak with undignified joy when I saw this cover?

GQ April Cover

Yes. Yes, I did. Will I perhaps purchase it solely to place it on my coffee table, so that I have some Dapper Handsomeness in my living room at all times? Yes, yes, I will. (Not to be confused with Draper Handsomeness. They’re very visually similar, but one of them is much, much more self-destructive.) Did Heather forward me the email containing this cover the instant it hit our in-box with a note saying, “I feel like this was destined for you — NAY, shot for you?” Yes, yes, she did.

But I would argue that this is for all of us.

[Photo: GQ]