Fug File: girl groups

Fug or Fab: The Spice Girls at the Closing Ceremony

Infamously, DirecTV lost our NBC affiliate’s signal in the middle of the closing ceremony, just in time to deny us the Spice Girls. So I am writing this without having seen the actual performance, but let’s just assume I would have gushed about how they still totally rule, and can command a stage remarkably well considering no one could ever accuse them of being the five most talented musicians in all of England… or even in all of that venue on that evening. I miss the Spice Girls. I had floor seats at their reunion tour stop in L.A., and it was basically the best thing that’s ever happened. Can they do all the Games? Isn’t the meshing of five different spices deeply symbolic of the way the Olympics unites different cultures under the banner of spirited competition? I THINK SO, ahem, Rio.

Was this what you really, really wanted?

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[Photos: Getty]


Fugody Thornton

Remember when the Pussycat Dolls were a thing? Seems so far away, doesn’t it? And that’s as good a reason as any why Melody Thornton shouldn’t have worn this:

Because now we can’t tell if she’s just wearing really awful harem pants, or she’s actually seeking employment IN a harem. Hey, times are tough. I just wish she’d tried Hammer pants first. He’s probably a better boss — both too legit to quit AND prone to laying out quite clearly what you can and can’t touch.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]


Who Fugged It more (Or Less): Cate Blanchett vs. Nicola Roberts

Hey, remember this, from about two years ago?

She is doing “Hello, lovers” before “HOLA LOVERS” was even a glint in J.Lo’s eyes. Personally, I think it was a test. She was like, “You think I can pull off anything, eh? Well how about GRANDMA’S AFGHAN?”

Fast-forward to Monday:

we’ve come so far in two years


Fug or Fab: Nicola Roberts

So, what those of you who don’t know me personally may not realize is that sometimes I dress like a crazy person. I mean, not Solange Crazy (ONE DAY) but like Mildly Wacky Crazy. To wit: I had to forbid myself to buy any more gold lamé. I am sure there are days when people would be all, “physician, heal thyself,” and that is okay. As we always say around these parts, just because we hate your pants, it doesn’t mean we don’t like YOU.  But this does mean that I suspect this outfit is totally cracked out and that I am wrong to dig it:

I mean, not the shoes. The shoes make me want to stab myself in the face. But the dress! The dress makes me want to twirl in a field and run through a thousand blooming poppies and basically act as if I’m in the world’s corniest tampon ad.

What do you think?

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[Photo by: Splash]



I know it’s not like Mel B has ever been known for her subtlety.

[Photos: Splash News]

But, come on, girl: Everybody knows you’re really toned and fit. You don’t have to work this hard. And in this case…

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Fug Up Your Life

My darling Mel B:

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Though I salute this as a valiant and creative effort to get cast in the Spider Man reboot, maybe you should just try auditioning?

Love you!