SAG Awards Fug Carpet: Janet McTeer


Lacking anything creative to say about the horrors of this particular dress, I decided to check in with my old pal Wikipedia to see if Janet McTeer has any fun skeletons in her closet.

She doesn’t. In fact, she seems very talented and diverse and acclaimed, and she’s going to reunite with Glenn Close on Damages next season, so obviously she must be able to hang. I mean, if you can roll with Glenn Close, you’re probably pretty cool, right? So all that’s left is for me to stare at the gown and scratch my head until I scalp myself and wonder why she appears to be wearing a very fancy barrel. Come to think of it, I didn’t like Glenn’s dress much, either; maybe these two are a bad influence on each other. Like Thelma and Louise, sort of. Janet, don’t get in a car with her.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (33):

  1. Pebbles36
    0

    Ummm, what the heck is with those shoes? Somewhere a Keebler elf is barefoot!

  2. Sandra
    0

    For mercy’s sake! She’s 50, not 150. Why would anybody put this on and say “yes, this is the one” ?

  3. Juanitatres
    0

    Why would anyone wear this? Any of this?

  4. laurie
    0

    i need a closer look at those shoes. WTF?

    • TaraMisu
      0

      Right?? What in holy hell is she wearing on her feet!!
      And that dress is plain fugly, even the look on her face is like “yeah it’s bad, suck it”

  5. theotherjennifer
    0

    is that an ill-fitting negligee posing as a gown? good grief, wrangle those giant boobs, noone wants to see that!

  6. Kimberli
    0

    As someone with large breasts, I feel the pain of trying to dress well without looking like a prude or a slut. But I feel like her breasts punched me in the eyeballs. They look enormous! No! Bad! Bad dress!

  7. Willow
    0

    THE SHOES THOUGH! It looks like she’s wearing turkey basters on her feet! Maybe she’s part of an alien race that steals DNA from peoples’ ankles?

    *writes the slashfic*

  8. val.
    0

    It’s terrible. All of it!

  9. Katharine
    0

    That is awful. That said, evidence from Albert Nobbs suggests that she has a Hendricks-level rack, and we’ve all seen how hard it seems to be for anyone in the entertainment industry to dress that without resorting to lingerie.

    • Jane
      0

      Yes, she is mammarily gifted. It’s a shame how seldom designers are able to fit that. But that is NO EXCUSE for the elf slippers, my god.

      • Katharine
        0

        Where IS Hendricks, anyway? It seems like months since I’ve seen her busting out of something horrifying on these pages.

      • megan
        0

        They all need tips from sofia they are huge yet they never look too in your face or squashed in a painful way – thats a talent!!

  10. Heather
    0

    She is awesome. She’s also like 6’2″ which is also awesome. Like other especially tall ladies (Jane Lynch, etc.) she is probably not a size 0. However, there is no excuse for this. We expect better from you, Ms. McTeer!

  11. Gigi
    0

    “Hello! I’m Janet, and these are my bodacious ta-tas.”

    She gives off a bit of a Joan Cusack vibe, the biggish girl who is comfortable with that and kinda kooky but still totally cool and would make a great friend.

  12. val.
    0

    I think my problem is that her shortish, limp hair isn’t really balancing out the longish neck and large chest. Maybe a new hairstyle would help?

  13. perletwo
    0

    She’s getting a bit Morticia Addams down around the hemline, isn’t she?

  14. strah
    0

    It looks like this was originally a halter dress for a shorter person. Imagine if the dark fabric that ends at her armpit connected and went around the neck. She looks like she busted through the halter and put a lace shirt underneath.

  15. ceecee
    0

    I’m kind of a chesty gal myself so I sympathize. It’s a shame not to show them off, but those babies need to be wrangled to look their best and this dress is falling down on the job. Plus, the rest of it is hideous.

  16. AM
    0

    Not a good look.

    She should have just come as Vita Sackville-West.

  17. GingerLover
    0

    She needs SERIOUS foundation garments, but this dress is just… sorry Keebler elves are making me laugh, I can’t!

  18. Sajorina
    0

    FUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The dress is AWFUL & the shoes are TRAGIC! Someone please get some wood & matches and let’s start a bonfire to get rid of them!

  19. Mahastee
    0

    Holy Hell that is fug from her hair down to her pointy pointy toes.

  20. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    I think the shoes are retro. Like 1712 retro.

  21. LIllibet
    0

    Janet and Meryl have really let the side (women of a certain age) down! What’s with this wild west madam look with the black lacey cleavage dresses? You know, I don’t think black looks all that fantastic on a red carpet. The best dresses are always in colour even if it’s a neutral.

  22. ChaChaHeels
    0

    Black lace just doesn’t do anyone any favours. Black lace with cut outs is just mean, it adds extra footage of waist where I’m sure none really exists. Who would do this to a nice lady? She looks like a widowed nonnina who has rent her garments in an hysterical fit of sexual despair, somewhere in Sergio Leone’s wild west version of Sicily.

  23. Franziska
    0

    Christina Hendricks springs to mind. I can see her wearing this dress… maybe in a different colour. It would still not look good.

  24. Lily1214
    0

    Definitely not her best look.

  25. vandalfan
    0

    SHOES WHAT!

  26. Scousd Helen
    0

    Be kind to Janet McTeer. She is a brilliant actress who has fallen amongst nutcase stylists.