Lacking anything creative to say about the horrors of this particular dress, I decided to check in with my old pal Wikipedia to see if Janet McTeer has any fun skeletons in her closet.

She doesn’t. In fact, she seems very talented and diverse and acclaimed, and she’s going to reunite with Glenn Close on Damages next season, so obviously she must be able to hang. I mean, if you can roll with Glenn Close, you’re probably pretty cool, right? So all that’s left is for me to stare at the gown and scratch my head until I scalp myself and wonder why she appears to be wearing a very fancy barrel. Come to think of it, I didn’t like Glenn’s dress much, either; maybe these two are a bad influence on each other. Like Thelma and Louise, sort of. Janet, don’t get in a car with her.

[Photo: Getty]