People’s Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Kristin Kreuk


I need to confess something to you, my judges and jury: I am watching Beauty and the Beast (on Hulu, and how it happened is a long story, but still — somehow that feels relevant), and I don’t hate it. I might even like it. Turns out the romantic lead is actually meant to be a “beast” in the Hulk Smash sense (there is a whole story line about fugue states, a phrase I haven’t written since Passions, and WHY IS THAT?). But the reason I am watching is, it turns out, that a) it’s an ode to great leather jackets, boots, and skinny jeans, and b) I like Kristin Kreuk. She’s very charming to me, and her HAIR is HYPNOTIC. It’s so shiny and fantastic. There are aspects that don’t work, like some of the murder-of-the-week stuff, but other parts are surprisingly okay. So I guess I’m in, you guys. I know. But I had to come clean. And I don’t regret my choices.

But does she regret hers?

She should. There is a very pretty germ of a dress here that blew up into a massive killer virus. The design results in it looking not only poorly made, but improperly fitted. I think the beast sewed it during one of his animal fugue states, where he had some war flashbacks and then did something violent but altruistic. Seriously, I wish we could move some people from Passions onto this show — imagine if Precious the orangutan nurse was tasked with tending to Beast Vincent during his episodes, and then had love fantasies about him like she did with Luis, or if they occasionally cut to Tabitha staring into her magic bowl and making snarky comments about their life choices, and then Big Dumb Hank — who is ALSO a cop, and was Captain Awesome on Chuck — could dribble a basketball shirtless through three scenes an hour. Perfection.

I suppose I should stop daydreaming and show you the back:

I mean, that fabric is just bad. It looks like her prosthetic back is melting.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (43):

  1. anna s.
    0

    It looks like a jellyfish attached itself to her shoulder and ate the top half of her dress.

  2. Mary
    0

    If a set of conjoined but plucky dress designing twins had one hand each and a wildly differing dress vision, this is the compromise of their dreams. (As executed by them after a terrible battle with each other, a make-up dinner with extra merlot, and fabric left over from their respective prom dresses.)

  3. Jasmine
    0

    I actually wouldn’t mind it if it weren’t so damn SLOUCHY. Trim the hem, go down a size lord PLEASE, and completely redo the back, because that is just terrible.

    Her clutch is frigging adorable though. And she’s so pretty. BC girls for the win!

  4. Fiona
    0

    I really like it from the waist down – and her accessorise are great. But the top half is, as you say, weird and ill-fitting. Also, horribly ageing on her.

  5. Fiona
    0

    *accessories

    (sorry)

  6. Art Eclectic
    0

    Wow, that had so much potential and yet failed so spectacularly. There’s a great dress in there, somewhere.

    But I do think the colors are all wrong for her skin tone.

  7. Mouse
    0

    My god, this girl is gorgeous. Shame about the dress, though…

  8. pidget
    0

    See Morena Baccarin re: Crimes Against Pretty. This dress is swamping her. There are great ideas here and there, but there’s too much too-muchness for such a delicate whisper of a girl. I’d rather see her shine in less foofery.

  9. Sandra
    0

    The front of it is pretty bad too. I can’t quite decide if it’s sheer or not, which should never happen. A fully-lined bodice should not leave an observer wondering whether or not the girls are inadequately upholstered.

  10. Rayna
    0

    Alas, some good ideas, great materials, and fugged up execution.

    :-(

  11. AM
    0

    I know what you critics are saying, and I don’t disagree, but (small voice) I think she looks very good. And okay, I don’t hate this dress. I might even like it, and think the colors look pretty on her! It’s different, but I get really tired of the same safe starlet look. (As long as being “edgy” means you’re dressed and covered up, I vote yes).

  12. carrie
    0

    gotta say, I love the bag though

  13. Sandeep
    0

    She’s so pretty! Bad dress for sure

    LOVE THE SHOW ;)

  14. cdd
    0

    Glad to know i’m not the only person watching Beauty & The Beast. Hulu somehow tricked me into it. I think I’m mostly in it for the K.P.– I didn’t even realize just how much I missed Make It Or Break It until recently.

    • Sylvia
      0

      I was coming to weep for joy over two Passions references in one week. Then you make a MIOBI reference. My heart is happy.

      Also, why are so many clothes swallowing people in recent post?

    • Eli
      0

      Gahh I miss MIOBI. There was no closure because we were denied the Oh-lympics, too.

  15. winter_coat
    0

    It just reminds me of peaches and cream barbie except if through the magic of barbie tailors it was able to reverse itself so barbie came with two outfits instead of one. So basically, it is a dream from my 8 year old self which sadly, just like a pink and purple eyeshadow combo, does not reflect well in reality.

  16. The_Lsquared
    0

    Is it weird that I kinda love this?

  17. casey
    0

    She’s so pretty, this is just too bad because it could have been lovely. I think (and I’m having trouble pinpointing what exactly is so wrong) – but I think that this would be better if the waist area were different. I mean, that big ‘lift’ around the front waist would make anyone look like they had a food baby going on, and then in the back it cuts across the wrong point of her back (as well as having a wonky midline). I think if that were better, the whole thing would look better.

  18. Bottle Ginger
    0

    Her pose is so awkward it’s hard to tell if the dress is really that bad. Look at her – her shoulders are pointing one way, her pelvis another, and her knees are all over the place.

    I suspect that if she were standing up straight, the dress might look decent, not that anything that puffy will ever be really beautiful.

    • arigate
      0

      Exactly. I’ve never seen anyone look so lopsided (or twisted?) in my life. The dress looks like it is sliding sideways, especially from the back. Isn’t the zipper supposed to go down the middle? And The side seam is inching over onto the buttocksal region. It all looks very wonkus. The clutch is awesome, but the rest of the accessories are a snooze. She is gorgeous, though.

  19. Aphy
    0

    It could have been great, but to me it looks like her breasts are sliding off her chest and the back is monstrous.

  20. Jill
    0

    I know it’s awful, but I can’t help but love it. It’s the updated version of the Peaches and Cream Barbie outfit.

  21. KTB
    0

    Captain Awesome was on Passions??? How did I not know that until today?

    • Elle
      0

      That was exactly the thought that popped into my mind, only in my head it was more capsy.

  22. Kendra
    0

    I’m only stopping in to talk about Beauty & the Beast, which I’m totally, totally down with. It’s happening, I’ve accepted it. Let’s talk about it. It’s partly because everyone is just SO PRETTY it’s mystifying, but it feels different than everyone being pretty on a show like 90210 – possibly because they are not and we are not pretending they’re teenagers, but more probably because the two leads are as likable as they are beautiful.

    Agreed, her hair – for me, it’s almost as hypnotic as Connie Britton’s. Blasphemy! (But seriously.) And I went out and bought a really similar leather jacket to the shorter tan one she so often wears, which I never do but she made it look so stinking good. (This leather jacket is another reason I’m happy about bootcut jeans being acceptable again – I can go leather jacket in a 60′s leggy way rather than a wannabe hipster and/or punk way, which makes me feel like a big fat poser.) Also, Vincent: All. Of. The. Swoons.

  23. Helen
    0

    Stronger color and better tailoring, including hemming it a bit shorter, and I’d love this.

    Also different shoes – just something a little more seasonal, and in keeping with the weight of the skirt fabric.

    I like the clutch?

  24. Judith
    0

    The top looks like what a fancy hobo carries his belongings in, if his belongings were a selection of boobs.

  25. Ellyn
    0

    After seeing the back of the dress, I can understand why the front of the bodice failed to impress me (there was almost nothing holding it on).
    By the way (sometime when things are slow), I think the Fug Girls should do a little critique on the people behind the scenes who are following the wrong fashion trends. Not to be mean, but just to be constructive about why certain fashion faux pas (see the ugly nude platform heels on the blonde woman standing to the left as Kristin walks past) could be averted. The pictures tell the tale!

  26. Rachel
    0

    Arrgh! She is such a tiny pretty girl and that dress makes her look AWFUL!! She needs a better stylist.

  27. Emma
    0

    Ew, so weird, and somehow like something an ageing star might have worn in 1978. I can’t even tell where the waist is, or is meant to be. It’s wonky, so I’m not sure if it’s supposed to have an empire waist, or to sit on her actual waist. I’m confused and anxious. The explosion of apricot tulle is nauseating.

  28. Sajorina
    0

    Love Kristin Kreuk! She actually is spellbindingly GORGEOUS! I have watched some episodes of Beauty & The Beast and have liked them except for one thing: Kristin’s cop partner! I just don’t like her! But, I think Kristin & Vincent’s relationship is so sweet… The way they long for each other totally draws you in! Plus, he’s dreamy! Anyway, I ADORE that gold shiny sparkly fabric and it is an injustice that is wasn’t used properly, as it so deserves! I love the clutch, though!

  29. Beth
    0

    Umm…that isnt her “prosthetic back”…it is her ACTUAL back. The dress is backless. I do like the clutch though

  30. Dee
    0

    [there was a fake fugue state on Breaking Bad]

  31. mack
    0

    most beautiful woman ever.

  32. mmiss
    0

    i love her outfit !!

  33. Cati Brenes
    0

    it a cheap dress, i am sure!
    who is she anyway?!

  34. Lily1214
    0

    DON’T show me the back! These one-shoulder gowns never really look good on anyone. I can’t imagine what it takes to wear one of them.