ACM Awards Fugs and Fabs: Everyone Else

I’d like to thank such a larger percentage of the attendees of this event for choosing a pattern. It’s so cheerful!


Fug the Show: Scandal recap, season 4, episode 19, “I’m Just A Bill”

Well, Susan Ross may be a bit of a Mary Sue right now — she is too awesome to be true — but her parts of the episode had panache and life, which only underscored how grim the rest is. With apologies to Scott Foley, who can only do the job he is given, whenever Jake opens his mouth I just zone out and wait for it to stop.

Let’s begin, though, with that wine cardigan.


Olivia was swaddled in this massive grey blanket of a sweater at the end of last weekwhen Papa Pope made an unwelcome return to her doorstep, popping up behind her new fling, Russell (from Stomp The Yard). What ensues is one of the prototypically irritating Scandal scenes, where Papa Pope exposits for us that if Olivia doesn’t put the kibosh on the Bust B-3.14159 scheme it will bring down the Republic AND the president she cherishes, and then Olivia climbs up on her high horse and unfurls a large banner that says, “I DON’T CARE ABOUT SAVING FITZ. I CARE ABOUT JUSTICE.” At which point Papa Pope responds with a maniacal monologue that made me want to put my fist through the television:

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ACM Awards Fugs and Fines: Miranda Lambert

I randomly heard Miranda Lambert on the radio this past week — not one of her songs; her, specifically. She called in to talk to Seacrest about something — and I was reminded that I find her very likeable and I am preemptively on her side if things go pear-shaped with her and Blake. Which, by the way, I don’t want to happen. But if it DOES, I feel like her Break-Up Album will be GREAT.

[Photos: Getty]


ACM Awards Fug Carpet: Beth Behrs

We have Scrolldown Fugs, and I suppose in a sense you could do a Scroll-up Fug, but calling something a “Scrollmiddle Fug” is nonsense and that’s a shame because this would illustrate the concept beautifully.

beth behrs acms 2015

Head: great. Skirt: classy, well-fitted, lovely blue. Bodice: like something you’d see on a nervous spouse, who clicked on a Facebook ad for photographers who specialize in Artistic Semi-Nudes designed to put the spice back in the marital sack, but then the pictures turn out looking like the Glamour Shots of home porn.

[Photo: Getty]


ACM Awards Well Played: Reese Witherspoon in David Koma


I love everything about this.

reese witherspoon ACMs 2015

I even, weirdly, love that she appears to be standing in front of a passed-out Spongebob Squarepants, who face planted backstage because he misjudged how dry it is here. What can I say? I’m a sucker for shimmer, good hair and shoes, and a bracelet, and not even a janky background can sully it.

[Photo: Getty]


ACM Awards Fug or Fine: Taylor Swift

People knock Taylor Swift for still acting surprised when she cleans up at these things, and this may not change that, given that she’s receiving a milestone awards and therefore totally knew it was coming.

taylor swift acms 2015

Then again, she her mother presented it to her, which is sniffly because of the recent cancer diagnosis (kick its ass, Mama Swift!), AND it’s possible she is legitimately shocked that anyone is still giving her trophies for country music. So I’ll let her have this one — and honestly, if she ever went up there and was like, “Yep, saw THIS coming. BORING,” people would crucify her even more. She can’t win for losing, in that sense. Much like Kate Middleton. She might be the Kate of the U.S. (sorry, Kim Kardashian; I know you have been gunning for that title).

Anyway: Let’s take a look at her dress. She didn’t walk the red carpet, so this is the best I could do:

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