Fugs and Fabs: The 2016 NFL Draft


It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

[Photos: Getty]

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What the Fug: Selma Blair


This is… strange.

Selma Blair

The sleeves look like chef toques, the front looks like a cross between an apron and a wrap dress, and the pants… well, look like pants. But pants that feel silly for having been drafted into an outfit that makes them absurd, instead of mighty.

Selma Blair

And then the side view rears its head, and suddenly she’s a sister-wife in a straitjacket. Which would be reasonable if she MEANT to dress as a metaphor…

[Photo: Getty]

 

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Your Afternoon Man: Samuel L. Jackson


This is a sight to behold.

Samuel L. Jackson

Samuel L. is a force of nature. Nothing scares him. Not snakes on a plane, not Sith Lords, not John Travolta’s various hair configurations, and not mixing patterns.

Samuel L. Jackson

He’s like, “Yes? And what of it?” This is, after all, a man who once reportedly said, “I heard that you can do whatever you want in International Waters. That’s why I filled my jacuzzi with International Water.”

Even better, the Olympics are nigh, and NOBODY tweets the Olympics like Samuel L. Jackson. In 2012, he went full nutballs over everything from badminton to handball to synchro diving to gymnastics (“Massive German Facial on high bar! OUCH like a MUPFUGGUH!!”). He may well be the biggest potential treasure of Rio 2016. Decline to follow at your own risk.

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Fugs and Fabs: Kate Hudson


Say what you will about Noted Essayist Kate Hudson – and I have — you cannot deny that she totally does her part when the time comes to promote whatever she is promoting. She will cheerfully pound the pavement and press the flesh, and there is something to be said about that. Not least because it gives me something to write about. Thanks, Kate!

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Fug the Cover: Maisie Williams on Nylon


I get this. It’s supposed to recall the zines of the 90s, especially in the sense that the photo looks as if it’s been cut and pasted — literally. The way we literally used to have to cut things out and paste them onto other things. Kids, you don’t even KNOW.

Maisie-Williams--Nylon-Magazine-2016--03

The reason I get it is because I lived through the early 90s. And while I did not personally read a lot of zines –  procuring them seemed like a lot of work, and I’ve always been in favor of having things just arrive at my home, which is why I am such good friends with my UPS guy — I did live very close to a Penny Lane, and also I read Sassy and also I went to a school where plenty of girls spent a lot of time wearing Doc Martens and talking about Earth Day, so I am very familiar with this particular retro milieu. (For example, I could expound at length about that time Sonic Youth gave Sassy a recipe for tacos using butter and canned tuna, a recipe so bizarre and memorable that I have never forgotten it, and it’s been TWENTY YEARS.) So I FEEL THIS. However, my own personal Old Lady Instinct is that, now, in 2016, this sort of intentionally home-made look only really works if the person in question looks super dynamic in her cut-and-pasted photo, and slack-jawed Maisie Williams in her underpants feels a little more blank than she ought to. I have to think she pulled this cover out of the mailbox and thought, “THAT photo? Really? Okay, then!” I get what they were going for, but I think the place they landed turned out to be more blow-up-doll-adjacent than was intended — in a way that I don’t think fits either her or the publication.

On the other hand, I’m also not the demographic for this sort of thing at all anymore, so what do I know? Well, wait. I do know one thing: regardless of the rest of this cover, that sweater is cute.

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Fugllions: Malin Akerman


I certainly appreciate the inherent sassiness in this.

Malin Akerman

But she looks like a pirate who just really, really does not understand what belts do.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fugtrospective: Taylor Swift’s Met Gala Gowns


T.Swizz here is the co-chair of Monday’s Met Gala, the theme of which this year is — ahem — “Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology, highlighting the intersection of fashion and tech in today’s world.” (So get ready for a lot of LED dresses, basically.) Just for fun, as we prepare for whatever Taylor has in store — for some reason I’m predicting a Tron vibe from her — let’s take a look back at all of her Met Gala ensembles. Pick your fave.

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[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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