Oscar Well Played: Milla Jovovich


When to show up on the red carpet is sort of an art. If you’re not the focus of the show but you are pretty sure you’re going to knock someone’s pants off, it’s a good idea to show up early, because a) you get maximum exposure, and b) the networks will keep cutting to you to fill time until Angelina Jolie arrives, because they will assume maybe people didn’t tune in early enough to see you and thus you get double the camera time of everyone else, and a + b = c) you set the bar for everyone else to meet or exceed. Olivia Wilde pulled that at last year’s Globes, and it worked; this year, that honor goes to Milla.

It was hard to find a photo that showed off this dress in which it did not also appear that Milla was doing backbends and/or trying to bait her chiropractor into giving her a free realignment. Still, she looked marvelous — Jessica and I oohed a little when she hit the screen. It’s graceful, it’s flattering, and it’s so elegant. She might have gone a little heavy on the blush, like one of those Barbie heads you could make up yourself and which inevitably ended up permanently scarred from somebody’s brother’s aggressive rouge barrage. And Aggressive Rouge Barage is my new band. We will cover Kiss and Katy Perry songs almost exclusively, although we might throw in something from Xanadu. I am almost as enthralled with my pending career as I am with this dress. So in a sense that means Milla looks both aspirational and inspirational. Thanks, lady. I owe you.

[Photo: WENN]

Leave a reply

Comments (31):

  1. Jen

    Aggressive Rouge Barage — please, please have a soundtrack available with Messy! Sounds perfect.

    (but don’t give up The Fug blog)

    • Mukel

      LOL. My best friend and I used to make up fake band names all the time… and make fun of celebrities. Hey, maybe we should start a blog!

  2. liz_bee

    The dress is great, the blush is a bit much, but dang! She is killing it with the sexy eyes.

  3. Bella

    She looks beautiful. But … I see a shoulder pad! What does this mean?

    • Kristen from MA

      That is more than a shoulder pad: it looks like something a linebacker would put on. The dress is lovely otherwise.

      • NYCGirl

        That’s why I don’t like it. Oh, and the strap across her chest. And her hair.

  4. noscare

    I swear I have seen this dress on someone else, and it is KILLING me… Can anyone help??

  5. Sajorina

    Heather, I guess you’ll be the lead singer? I am the lead singer of my imaginary band! I also play the tambourine!

    Mila BROUGHT IT! She looks FIERCE! I love the dress, the accessories, the hair & the attitude! Not crazy about the excess blush or the white nailpolish, but she’s rocking it anyway! FAB!!!

  6. mepe

    Gorgeous – she totally nailed! White nail polish and all!

  7. me

    I’d tone down the blush and lipstick a tad…but otherwise…Spectacular! One of my favorite looks from the night.

  8. sarah

    i remember watching her pose on the red carpet and thinking she looked very INTENSE about it. like she was shooting laser beams from her eyes. i like to think she and jolie had a bet about who could do the wackiest red carpet poses. guess jolie won.

  9. Moi

    That’s why the lady is a vamp.

  10. guerra

    great dress, a little heavy on the make up but thats easily done when you realise how many pictures will be taken of you

  11. vandalfan

    I’d prefer a little less NFL in that shoulder pad. Just a simple cap sleeve could have continued the line.

    Now, she looks truly Hollywood glamorous- heavy make up and all, she’s a vision- but when she opened her mouth I was shocked. Her grammar and pronunciation were abysmal. Goin’ tuh… instead of Going to… was particularly jarring. Certainly a speech coach could help. She should sound as elegant as her appearance implies.

  12. Kara

    I Tweeted that this is my dream wedding dress, and I meant it in the best way. (See also: Octavia Spencer.) I love it.

  13. Veronica

    I love the red lip, though I do agree the blush needed toned down just a smidge. She looked absolutely stunning despite that.

    Also, I found her fierce posing (remnants of her old modeling career, maybe?) very endearing, and I’m not sure why. Somehow, it didn’t annoy me as much as Jolie’s blatant legginess. (Maybe I’m just sick of seeing the latter in magazines.)

  14. The Other Molly

    This was far and away the BEST look at the Oscars.
    Gorgeous dress, beautiful hair, perfect accessories and lovely nails.

  15. Willow

    This dress and look also caught my eye, but on further examination, that shoulder pad is not just made of NFL, it’s cantilevered a ways off her shoulder. Weird.

  16. Mahastee

    This was definitely my fave of the night. Admittedly, it was a pretty boring night.

  17. Dressed Well

    We LOVE this dress!!!

  18. A.J.

    Sing “I’m Alive!” You are taking requests for what to perform off the Xanadu soundtrack, right?

  19. neiges

    So I am the only one not on board. I think that this is definitely not the dress for her body type : she is flat, not to wastey (I don’t know if this is a word, sorry) and androginous. I say this with all respect as I have the same type and this is the kind of dress I avoid wearing. It’s ok, but not on her.

  20. Dave

    I think she’s in my top three, which also includes Octavia and some woman who I don’t recognize but who was with Judd Apatow – she was wearing midnight blue Cavalli.

  21. Sandra

    Nice to see somebody knows the difference between glamorous and vulgar. She looks great. She also looks as if she might have, in an earlier era, sat around drinking cocktails and ruining other people’s careers with Joan Crawford. I like!

  22. Shiitake

    Oh, lovely!

  23. M.Amanda

    I wish she did this all the time, reminding us that she modeled and seriously knows how to deliver drama and sexy poses. This is definitely in my Top 5 from the evening.

  24. yeahandalso

    I actually wish she would get more legit acting work, she is so much better than just being the hot butt-kicking chick in her husband’s terrible movies every other year. She was great in The Claim and I still have a deep fondness for her (OK and EVERYBODY) in Zoolander. “I suggest you and your Kmart Jaclyn Smith Collection outfit… stay the hell away from Derek Zoolander!”