When to show up on the red carpet is sort of an art. If you’re not the focus of the show but you are pretty sure you’re going to knock someone’s pants off, it’s a good idea to show up early, because a) you get maximum exposure, and b) the networks will keep cutting to you to fill time until Angelina Jolie arrives, because they will assume maybe people didn’t tune in early enough to see you and thus you get double the camera time of everyone else, and a + b = c) you set the bar for everyone else to meet or exceed. Olivia Wilde pulled that at last year’s Globes, and it worked; this year, that honor goes to Milla.
It was hard to find a photo that showed off this dress in which it did not also appear that Milla was doing backbends and/or trying to bait her chiropractor into giving her a free realignment. Still, she looked marvelous — Jessica and I oohed a little when she hit the screen. It’s graceful, it’s flattering, and it’s so elegant. She might have gone a little heavy on the blush, like one of those Barbie heads you could make up yourself and which inevitably ended up permanently scarred from somebody’s brother’s aggressive rouge barrage. And Aggressive Rouge Barage is my new band. We will cover Kiss and Katy Perry songs almost exclusively, although we might throw in something from Xanadu. I am almost as enthralled with my pending career as I am with this dress. So in a sense that means Milla looks both aspirational and inspirational. Thanks, lady. I owe you.