Mostly Well-Played: Princess Charlene at the Monaco Grand Prix with Bonus Casiraghis (Casiraghii?)


well-played

Well, these two are at least trying to look happy.

[Photos: Getty, PacCoastNews]

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Comments (96):

  1. KateL
    +9

    That seems like a good dress and even better occasion to try a houndstooth pump (although maybe that would be too on point).

  2.  Blair's Head Band
    +40

    Oh my gosh TEAM SVEN for everrrrr (get her out of there, Sven!)

    •  Sharon
      +4

      I have NEVER seen a rich woman look more sad.
      They are as awkward together as the kisses between the Gores and Lisa Marie and Michael J. Just cringe worthy.

  3. Sandra
    +34

    What the WHAT is going on with that pink dress? That is the worst one-sleeved monstrosity that I have ever seen! The white dress is great. I’ll join you in positing that a new Grimaldi will soon be appearing.

    • aemom
      +6

      Did they run out of fabric? Did it get eaten at the dry cleaners?

      • Kirsten
        +16

        It’s awful. It would be awful with no sleeves, awful with two awful cap sleeves, it’s just awful. Her makeup is awful. And her bra, or the bodice of that dress, or something, is really awful in her bust area too. Awful, overall.

      •  Sharon
        +3

        I’m thinking it may be her arms as well… look at that first photo… her arms look very awkward. Perhaps from being tied to a chair and forced to have dinner with her husband?

    • Meri
      +89

      Perhaps it’s a signal to Sven? “2 sleeves at night, prepare to take flight. 1 sleeve I wear, my darling beware.”

      • Katrina
        +55

        Possibly my favorite comment from Fug Nation in a loooong while. And that’s saying something because Fug Nation is hilarious. And may I propose a continuation, as I think we’re missing a meaning for a fully-sleeveless/strapless top/gown:

        “… if my shoulders be in display, then one day we must delay.”

      • Lori
        +8

        Meri and Katrina, it’s people like you who make me so proud to be part of Fug Nation.

        • Katrina
          +3

          Awwww shucks! That is so sweet!! I do think, though, that we bring it out of one another. Fug Nation is the best. Which is why I really want the convention to happen soooo badly!!!

          That said. I must correct myself. It should be “if my shoulders be ON display”. Uggggh. I had to get that out, I was annoyed by my own error.

  4. Annie S.
    +28

    Charlene and Albert NEED to have a kid because the thought of Noted Boho Maven Tatiana Santo Domingo becoming the consort of the Prince of Monaco gives me [princess] sadface. BRUSH YOUR HAIR, TATIANA. PLEASE.

    •  marie
      +20

      She really reminds me of Amy from The Big Bang Theory, if Amy had hippie inclinations.

      • FormerLibraryChick
        +4

        Well, at least the outfit would be appropriate for the modesty standards upheld by Mayim Bialik?

    • Katrina
      +9

      This maybe an unpopular opinion but I think that Andrea is NOT ageing well. I used to be crazy about him, when he was so dreamy in his late teens and early 20s with the long hair. Maybe his really strong features are a factor, but to me, he just looks tired and worn out all the time.

      • Crisistina
        +4

        I agree!!! Or at least this picture is not doing him any favors… I used to read mi mum’s “Vanidades” magazine back home (in Mexico) and OMG I loved to stare at his pics for hours…

    • Katrina
      +5

      Eeeep. Mixed up my comment boxes. Anyway. YES. While, to an extent, I admire Tatiana’s “I don’t care, I’ll wear whatever I want” attitude, there IS no excuse for looking unkempt. Boho-chic or not, you should not look like you haven’t run a brush through your hair for months at a fancy, non-Coachella, event. Especially when you’re royalty, however how minor.

  5. Julia
    +11

    Pierre is the youngest Casiraghi but Caroline also has a teenaged daughter with a German prince, and is not divorced but estranged from him, and thus estranged from some really great tiaras.

    • Jessica
      +21

      Ah, so he’s not the youngest CHILD of Caroline? I get her kids confused. Poor Caroline makes bad life choices.

      • Annie S.
        +46

        That seems to be a recurring theme amongst the Monegasque royals.

      •  kickassmomnyc
        +12

        Not as bad as Stephanie.

      •  Pia
        +5

        Caroline’s children : Charlotte, Andrea, Pierre (same father) and Alexandra (with her estranged husband)
        Stephanie’s children : Pauline, Louis (same father) and Camille

        •  Susan
          +4

          What about the brother here with Princess Sadface! Doesn’t he have a child w/ some random flight attendant?

          • Julia
            +4

            Actually he’s got two illegitimate children with different women. It’s sort of a thing with the Monegasque princes; Rainier’s mother was the natural daughter of Louis II who adopted her to preserve the succession. It’s all very soap-opera.

          •  Aspasia
            +1

            I think both former girlfriends were flight attendants. His son’s mother, Nicole, is a flight attendant for Air France from Togo.

      • Nipsy
        +3

        He’s the youngest of her three kids with Stefano Casiraghi but she then married the Prince of Hannover (a Prince of Hannover?) and had a daughter with him.

        God I can’t believe I know this. Too many covers of Point de Vue looked at while at the bus stop.

    • Lori
      +1

      Holy crap, I need to read books about this family.

      Suggestions anyone?

  6. AM
    +7

    I would LOVE the pink dress if it had two sleeves, and a necklace would look nice.

    • alicia
      +1

      The pictures here don’t show it, but at least she did have a large gold cuff on the sleeveless wrist, so that’s progress! I do love the color but wish that it was either cap sleeved or sleeveless, and that her boobs didn’t appear to be several inches apart vertically!

  7.  Erica Ro
    +21

    #teamsven #savesven

  8.  A.J.
    +8

    I don’t know if that’s touchy-feely, her posture is super stiff in both pictures! TEAM SVEN!

  9. kates
    +37

    Well, clearly, Albert ripped the other cap sleeve off while she was trying to flee the limo and get to the airport to meet Sven. Because why else would you have only one cap sleeve? I blame Sven for this.

  10. Elizabeth K. Mahon
    +20

    Julia is correct. Caroline is married to Prince Ernst of Hanover who is related to Britain’s royal family. He had to give up his place in the line of succession since he married a Catholic but Caroline married up. She’s now an H.R.H instead of an H.S.H. which is probably why she hasn’t divorced him despite his tendency to beat up photographers and pee in public.

    • marylou bethune
      +6

      They all seem to have illegitimate children by all sorts of unsuitable( in royal eyes) people. Princess Grace would have been horrified, one expects.
      But they seem like nice enough people and I hope Princess Charlene is happy enough… she dated him for years so you think she would have been able to make a balanced decision.

      • Joan
        +10

        Marylou – Grace may have been horrified, but probably because the results of their choices are so public. Grace Kelly was no angel, having slept her way through most of Hollywood before she married Ranier.

        • Joan
          +2

          And Charlene looks like he makes her skin crawl when he touches her.

        • Kimmy
          +4

          And she married Rainier knowing he had mistresses galore just to win a crown; she was a very practical woman.

  11.  AnnieC
    +4

    I’m with those who don’t buy the touchy-feely act. These two just seem off to me. Maybe its the fact that Albert is so very poorly tailored all the time….get it together man! Love the white dress but in the opposite court with the evening attire, no jewels, too much makeup and too few sleeves, and too shiny.

  12. Nat
    +31

    Beatrice is indeed an interesting girl: she comes from one of the most well-known noble families in Italy, the Borromeo (do a Google images research of “Isola Bella” just to have a look at her family’s heritage, you will not regret it). All her sisters are very blonde, very aristocratic, and very very very very well married.
    She also dates well, of course, but in all this she also created a respected career for herself as a serious journalist, working – and this is the most interesting part – for a very left oriented/anti-establishment newspaper.

    • Lucasta
      +25

      I love, love, love how much I (often unexpectedly!) learn from GFY.

    • Noire
      +6

      I love all these fun facts! GFY fans are so well educated on the most fascinating tidbits!

  13. TonyG
    +5

    Is that maybe a button-down long skirt on Tatiana Santo Domingo instead of a jumpsuit? Because if that is a button-down jumpsuit, then I just don’t know what to say (and I am not necessarily anti-jumpsuit).

  14. sahanabanana
    +38

    Princess Sadface has a great “Oh GREAT, you touched my knee, now I’ll have to disinfect it” face in that knee-touch slide.

    • D
      +31

      Sometimes I wonder if these photographers wait for the exact moment when she looks as miserable as humanly possible to take the shot.

      “Wait…wait…her face right now is only at neutral with a hint of frostine…..OH YES, HELLO SURPRESSED HOMICIDAL RAGE FACE!”
      *snap* *snap* *snap*

  15. Jules
    +35

    We spent part of our honeymoon in Monaco and we learned how the royal family came into power. The original Casiraghi dressed as a monk and knocked on the palace door, asking for help. They let him in. He then let in other “monks” and they slaughtered the entire family and then claimed the throne. So maybe that explains the monks on the crest. And maybe why it’s not a good idea to mess with Albert.

    •  Pia
      +17

      yep, that’s the story, they did it Lannister style

    • SPJava
      +13

      Go back far enough and some variation of mass slaughter is probably how most of the Royal families took their places on the throne.

    • Katrina
      +16

      I hate to be THAT person, but the Monegasque royal family name is Grimaldi. Casiraghi is the last name of Andrea/Pierre/Charlotte’s late father.

      • Jules
        +5

        Ah yes! I knew as I was typing it that it didn’t seem right, but nothing else was coming to me. Thank you!

  16.  Mina
    +14

    The white dress with a red stripe is screaming “Nurse” at me. But as far as fit and everything else it’s fine. You know, like at least it has both of its sleeves removed.

    • Red Scorpio
      +6

      Exactly my thought – fancy nurse. And the white pumps and the lanyard with the badge complements the image perfectly.
      Maybe red with a white stripe would have been better.

  17.  Mo
    +36

    Simmering Hateface is my new band name.

    #TEAMSVEN

  18. ky8007
    +4

    I thought I had read that Beatrice was the daughter of her father’s mistress and raised alongside her half-sisters, but either my memory is really bad or her Wikipedia entry was carefully edited. One of the Borromeo sisters married Gianni Agnelli’s grandson John Elkann, the Fiat heir.

    I have seen plenty of actually *cuddly* photos of Charlene and Albert, but I like your stories better.

    •  Amaranth
      0

      Ooh, I wonder if he inherited control over Juventus as well as Fiat (Gianni was the owner).

      Not that I need another soccer-related Wikipedia rabbit hole to fall down… sheesh.

  19. HelenBackAgain
    +5

    I also am okay with it if Sven sold the jewels to finance her escape.

    But if he did not, Charlene, put on some jewelry!

  20. Linda
    +2

    #TEAMSVEN #SAVETHEPRINCESS

  21. J
    +11

    I love how passionate Jessica is with her Royal updates. I can imagine her typing her quips furiously and then paying no mind to grammar errors. It’s charming! Truly!

    • Jessica
      +5

      Thank you! That’s awfully nice. But I’d prefer to not make grammatical errors at all! It happens sometimes, unfortunately. I’ve fixed the one I caught in the latter slides (I DID get myself too worked up to notice them). Thanks for the heads-up!

  22. Stefanie
    +11

    Im going to be sorta rude right now (I have cramps, lets blame those): I feel bad for Sadface. I do, really. But Im sorta over her. The situation she’s in is horrible, but did she really have to marry him? I know they took her passport but couldn’t she have refused to walk down the aisle? Said ” I DO NOT”? If she’s as miserable as she looks (which is majorly) can’t she leave him? It seems Monaco is hot mess but what are they going to do? Throw her in the tower? I just can’t help but feel there must be some way of making her situation better. For starters: jewels. Unless of course Sven is really happening. Or she’s not allowed to wear them for fear she will sell them herself and run away using those funds. And holy crap I HATE that pink dress. HATE it.

    • Gaëlle
      +5

      The situation she’s in may be sad but horrible? She’s not a prisoner, she travels abroad without her husband quite often, her passport has never been withheld (gossip#facts), she chose to marry that man and none of us really know what is happening in their couple.
      My theory is that she has resting sad face and conceiving troubles which enhance said sad face.

  23. Deborah
    +15

    Every time I see Charlene I want to scream: One heir! Just one, and your contract is done!

    •  Des
      +4

      Oh my God, I know! Don’t you just? I do not think that I have ever seen a person look this consistently miserable in photographs, and I’m including myself in the years when I had braces. What is going on there? Does anybody know? Was she unhappy before being married, or is he the cause of it? I want to rescue her like NOW. I’m this close to purchasing a love nest for her and this Sven character (and finding her a Sven character if he doesn’t exist) just to see if I can put a smile on that face. The poor woman. My goodness.

    •  Sharon
      0

      I agree, but OMGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know if I could go along with what one has to doin order to achieve that. Brrrrrrrrrr… makes my blood chill just to think about it.
      Must stop thinking about that… summoning up visions of sugar plums and Santa.

  24. Cat
    +4

    That pink, one-sleeved potato sack needs to go, but I love her hair!

  25. lella
    +1

    Beatrice is a really true aristoctrat, family’s history goes back to the 12th century, a family that have been able to maintain their assets through centuries. She is very rich from both size of the family, the mother being a Marzotto, aristocrats themselves but, more important, of the Marzotto textiles group (former owner of Valentino group). Someone has already said but google Isola Bella and Isola Madre on lake Maggiore, just two of their belongings. One of her sister is married with John Elkann Agnelli (brother of Lapo Elkann, I believe you know him, one of the best dressed men around), president of Fiat Group (Ferrari, Maserati, Chrysler, and so on).

  26. lella
    0

    sorry, double post.

  27. MsALVA
    +10

    I get that Charlene is beautiful in that tall, spare, blond way with a gorgeous neck and wide shoulders, and really, jewelry isn’t even needed to make her more beautiful, but would it kill her to put on a pair of earrings to attend a damn GALA? Or have Caroline and Stephanie hoarded all of Grace’s jewels and refuse to let Charlene near the vault? Because I see it almost as an insult to the country that she’s now the Princess of, to appear so totally over it all whenever she’s doing these appearances. Does she hate parties? It is like she almost goes out of her way to show that she attends these things only because she has to, therefore she will put in just the absolute minimum of effort. A “gown”, some nice shoes, and makeup. Probably she showered, ok. But earrings or a bracelet is just too much?

    •  ShannonTX
      +2

      Say what you will about Albert, but he has given her PLENTY of jooolz since they got engaged and then married. Even if Stephanie and Caroline are hoarding all of Grace’s bling (which they couldn’t, because I believe most of it actually belongs to Albert), she has plenty of stuff she could wear made JUST FOR HER. And a lot of it is gorgeous. I get that not everyone is a jewelry kind of girl, but for heaven’s sake, Charlene, get it together. You are a HSH. At least wear some damn earrings to a gala! It’s not hard! Hell, I’m at work and I’m wearing to large rings, drop earrings, and, of course, a bracelet!

      Also, her makeup looks like shit. And that dress is beyond hideous.

      I’m done now.

      •  ShannonTX
        +1

        TWO large rings. My fury at Charlene’s steadfast opposition to sparklies caused me to type too fast. Sorry.

      • Jessica
        +2

        At the VERY LEAST we know she has this tiara, because it was her wedding gift, and it does transform into a necklace: http://www.gofugyourself.com/royal-round-up-april-18-2014-04-2014/charlenehola

        •  Charlotte
          0

          She has that tiara, and a beautiful diamond headpiece/tiara (depending on where you draw that particular line), and a lot of incredibly stunning earrings.

          What I have heard, and makes sense to me, is that she’s adopted a minimalist Northern Italian style, so she doesn’t often bust out the bling.

  28. nmlhats
    +16

    Maybe he Resting Simmering Hateface in photo #2 is actually Simmering Morning Sickness Face.

    •  Amaranth
      +1

      And maybe she’s taken off all of her jewels because she’s afraid she’ll lose them whilst barfing (it is my worst nightmare to have my phone fall into the toilet, imagine if you wore a small fortune on your wrist or ears)!

  29. Petrova Fossil
    +19

    Jessica and Heather, after you finish your current London princess writing project, you MUST write the story of Princess Sadface and Sven and the necessarily despicable Prince Albert stand-in. I would buy that book and see the movie!

  30.  Robyn
    +9

    WAIT- if she’s pregnant, is Sven the father?? That just makes the mini-series in my head happy.

  31. susie
    +6

    Resting Something-or-other-Face is always a possibility. My niece is a *beautiful, beautiful* teenager (when smiling) who is quite charming and funny, but she was born with a Resting Festering Disgust face that looks like she can’t stand anyone within twenty feet of her and is preparing to call upon demons and hellfire to clear the rabble from her sight. Okay, maybe I exaggerate a little, but still. It’s sad, because she comes off as extremely aloof, yet she is the exact opposite. It eats her up inside every time someone accuses her of being stuck up or looking angry, and she is very insecure about it.

    •  Anne
      +2

      Aw, that sounds like an impressive resting face, though. Maybe it could come in handy sometimes in getting rid of an annoying person and make her feel better about having it? And in my experience there are plenty of people who will see straight through whatever resting bitch face variant you have and then it won’t matter.

      •  HelenBackAgain
        0

        So true. My best friends have always been people who didn’t even notice I had Resting Bitchface Syndrome, or simply weren’t intimidated by it.

        •  ShannonTX
          +10

          See, sometimes I WISH I had Resting Bitchface Syndrome. Unfortunately I was apparently born with Resting I’m Very Happy and Interested In You Come Tell Me All Your Problems face, which is not my personality at all. Sigh.

          That Tatiana chick needs to get her act together. She looks like a hippy, bitchy Blossom wearing the kind of ensemble people wear for full immersion baptism.

          • alicia
            +1

            I don’t know if Resting Bitchface Syndrome would help you, I’m sorry to report… I know i have it yet still know WAAAYYYY more about the personal lives and problems of pretty much everyone I’ve ever worked with and/or met in line at the grocery store or airport security line and I have no idea what gives them the idea that I am the person to solve their problems…

            • Jessica
              +8

              Maybe you have Resting Get-A-Grip-Friend Face and people think you can shake them into action. (I think I have this. A woman at the deli once literally turned to me and started telling me about her divorce. But I’m really nosy, so it’s cool.)

          • Tanya
            0

            My husband has resting bitchface syndrome. Before I figured it out, I used to think he didn’t like me that much and I almost stopped dating him.

  32. Suzy Q
    +5

    That hand-on-thigh photo is SO awkward. Makes me think he was the one who ripped the other cap sleeve off her pink dress in a fit of extreme pique and jealousy. SVEN.

  33. CB
    +3

    You guys called it, she’s totally pregnant.

  34. Tanya
    +1

    She’s pregnant!

  35.  Amaranth
    +1

    BBC News says that she is indeed pregnant:
    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-27643408

    You guys are psychic!

  36. Claire
    0

    Fug Girls win with the Gestational Secret call! Good for them– hope they look cheerier now!

  37. Ellen
    0

    Kudos on the pregnancy call. Well done.

  38. StephS
    +6

    Clearly she reads Fug and saw that you outted her pregnancy. That’s what prompted her to make the announcement this week. She took her ipad to him and said “Look! They know. We have to announce it now.” His response clearly was “Damn them!!! It was bad enough that they knew about Sven” and with a resigned sigh, he called for the Royal Master of Communiques.

  39. Erica Ro
    +1

    Is Sven the father?!

  40.  JanetP
    0

    “You know how some people have Resting Bitchface? I think Albert and Charlene’s entire relationship has Resting Simmering Hateface, because obviously this is just a cozy man-hand on a thigh and yet it reads as, “do not make a run for it, Charlene. I know all about you and Sven. Sven, Sven. Such a pretty face that one has. A SHAME IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO IT.”"

    OMG, that’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. Fug girls rule!!!