LADY EDITH: Do I look okay?
LADY MARY: You look very much like you just posed for a John Singer Sargent portrait.
LADY EDITH: …and?
LADY MARY: It’s a compliment, you dolt.
LADY EDITH: God, there’s no need to be so Method.
LADY MARY: Sorry. I’m just tired of people asking me where Matthew is. HE ISN’T REAL, PEOPLE. I mean, he IS real. But HE’S not real.
LADY EDITH: The more you talk, the more perplexed my face gets.
LADY MARY: Speaking of, your face in real life is so much nicer than the face they give you on Downton Abbey.
LADY EDITH: Um, thanks? I like your dress quite a lot.
LADY MARY: AND…?
LADY EDITH: And the gloves have got to go. WE’RE NOT ON SET.
LADY MARY: AREN’T WE? HAVE YOU SEEN YOU?
LADY EDITH: THIS ISN’T PERIOD APPROPRIATE!
LADY MARY: Oh, whatever. You look nice. I hope this season you get to marry some nice handsome young man instead of a creepy old dude with enormous teeth who can barely muster up any enthusiasm for you.
LADY EDITH: You look nice, too. I hope this season Matthew’s penis works correctly.
LADY MARY: The whole WORLD hopes that.
