London Fashion Week Fugs and Fabs — Except, Mostly Fugs

This is the week where, now that the Emmys are finally behind us and we can breathe again, we start scrambling to figure out what the heck we missed while we were underwater. Poor London Fashion Week. It’s already sort of the forgotten child in the family, clumsily bridging the end of New York and the beginning of Milan, like the sorbet of fashion fests. (Parenthetically, I don’t know how these editors do it — we’re wiped out enough just after New York.) But it brought us some Kristen Stewart, some Naomi with confusing zippers, more SWINTON, a handful of Kelis, and of course PIPPA!!!!111!1! Although frankly, I’m sort of glad the PIPPA!@!#!!!!!@!#?!! obsession is relaxing. It was just a dress, folks. It was just a bum. Let her breathe. Heavily, into Harry’s ear. WHAT? Come on, you’re all still sorta hoping for that, admit it.

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Comments (56):

  1. Dazie

    I love the idea of SWINTON’s sweater! Not keen on the beige, at least for me, but I love the take on yawny old argyle. FAB.

    Since I didn’t know who many of those people were, I mainly went “shiny, zippers, wtf, boobs, shiny…”

  2. Annie E

    Thank you for putting SWINTON at the end. I got to photo 15 and thought “Ugh, I feel tired and ill.” Why were some of these people even at London Fashion Week? Whitney Port?

  3. Susan

    Kristen looks great. Love SWINTON’s sweater, but does she every smile?

  4. Steph

    Thank you SWINTON. My love for you knows no bounds. (And I kinda want to try and rock her outfit next time I go to work.)

    The rest of the lot? LOOK AT SWINTON!

  5. S

    I love Pippa’s dress, but I especially love Duchess Kate’s proper knees-together/no-crossed-legs pose at the show. Well done! Princess lessons are going well!

  6. LT

    Short skirt alert! I almost saw Kristen’s Stewart, if you know what I mean.

  7. Lindy

    Ugh, what’s with the incredibly ugly shoes on every person (but Swinton)? Just hideous, vile footwear.

  8. Carolina Girl

    SWINTON, as always, looks like a million pounds. But I never before realized exactly who it is that Naomi Campbell reminds me of. It turns out it’s my father’s wife, also known as “Satan’s Evil Twin Sister” or “Psoriasis Shirley”. I guess that explains my irrational, white hot burning hatred towards Naomi.

  9. Eliza Bennett

    SWINTON looks lovely! I want to go shopping with her now. I love that sweater.

  10. Willow

    Bonnie Wright’s cardigan makes her look like a mangled dolphin :|

  11. Mahastee

    K Stew looks quite good, particularly in the dress. But maybe that is just a reaction to how godawful most of the others look. I would love to know where she got her hair extensions – so thick! so shiny!

    How does Swinton manage to wear THAT jumper, with no visible make up, and still look so good? It just isn’t fair.

  12. Mo

    “Aztec Snuggie” has to be the phrase of the week. I snorted Coke Zero up my nose at my desk.

    And also – thank god for SWINTON! It was like someone had served me a dinner of lima beans, brussels sprouts, and stale cold cuts, and just when I was despairing, here came the exquisite profiteroles for dessert.

  13. gav

    Nicola Roberts is one of Britain’s best dressed, not worst! The aztec jumpsuit may, in retrospect, have been a mistake, but she wore a lot of stunning outfits about last week.

  14. islandgirl1

    SWINTON! Her sweater, er “jumper” is awesome.

    @S–that was not Kate sitting next to Pippa. And Pippa’s dress was hilarious–a very expensive, tacky fan. And no, I do not want Harry and Pippa together. I want Harry to take lessons from Intern George and break hearts wherever he goes. Much more fun for us that way.

  15. Cecily

    “sideboob not forgotten,” you’re killing me. Meanwhile, how wholesome and delicious SWINTON looks. Come on over for wine and apps, Tilds.

  16. Willow

    How could you leave out Paloma Faith’s baglady librarian?

    I just love her :’)

  17. Eliza Bennett

    @Willow: That outfit is a DELIGHT. Thank you for sharing the bag lady librarian. I need more of her in my life.

  18. Willow

    Eliza, she’s also a very talented singer, I had the delight of seeing her live and she dressed up as Harley Quinn, it was amazing.

  19. AMS

    I couldn’t even see Nicola Roberts’ Aztec jumpsuit because I was blinded by waves of envy over her hair. It’s unbelievably thick, shiny and gorgeous.

  20. Sonya

    It is pretty funny that Ginny Weasley wore such a nasty-looking, sloppy sweater to the “Pringle of Scotland” show.

  21. ak

    I lost it at “Aztec snuggie.” Aloud. I never got it back. So funny.

  22. Carnac

    I thought Jessie J’s outfit was witty. Not elegant or particularly tasteful, but witty, perhaps intentionally funny. The Betty Boop jeans are a perfect comment on/complement to the Betty Boop sweetheart top. The sheer over blouse kept it from descending into “look at me” territory. It tickled my funny bone and I think she intended it too. Vastly superior to most of the rest. SWINTON rules, of course.

  23. TonyG

    Did anyone else think “Rick James in drag” (hmmm…is that redundant?) when they saw the Naomi Campbell slide?

  24. czander

    I was reading Grazia in London today and they refer to Pippa as P. Middy. I thought everyone back in the States should know…because it is fantastic.

    • LibraryChick

      If it means the press will get too lazy for P. Middy and just go to “Middy” eventually, it would be even more fantastic. :)

  25. Edith

    The combination of the sweater and the angle of the shot make Bonnie Wright look approximately two feet tall. And her shoes are just godawful. SWINTON reminds me of my incredibly cool aunt in Berlin. Everyone should have a Swintonian aunt.

  26. Zuzzie

    Jessie J’s leg is still in that thing? She’s had it since June, poor thing.

  27. dvj

    I think there may be an important taxonomical distinction between inside sideboob and outside sideboob. They are distinct creatures, no? Inside sideboob is just drifting cleavage.

  28. vandalfan

    Ginny Weasly is wearing something that should only be worn by a breast-feeding mother in the privacy of the basement. And I am frightened by Naomi and Her Lady of I Dream of Jeannie: racer-back bra necklines. See how those highlight that part of a lady’s torso that can rarely be flattering: the dreaded Armpit Boob.

  29. dvj

    Vandalfan, I think that’s armpit fat (pitflab? fat upper breast area?), a very common disorder, although why people bring it upon themselves is a mystery. Armpit Boob I think usually occurs while lying on one’s back, sans brassiere and sans implante, which is why Cosmo advises you to cross your arms under your breasts or raise them over your head (your arms, that is) if your man ever happens to see you in such a state.

  30. Squirrel!

    I am enjoying imagining Alan Cumming wearing Kelis’s ringmaster outfit.

  31. Anne B


    1) Is Naomi Campbell doing some kind of homage to Rick James? That’s a very kinky curl.
    2) I hate what Whitney Port is wearing. I am just going to sit here under the buffet table and hope she doesn’t see me, because according to her outfit I’m five years old.
    3) SWINTON! I think I need my taxes done right now.

  32. Anne B

    Whoops, @TonyG! You got to the Rick James bandwagon first.

    I owe you at least one funky leather vest. :)

  33. SaraK

    Oh Willow, that’s not just a bag lady librarian. It’s a PARTY bag lady librarian. Thank you, I am swooning with delight.

    Also, I just hate Pippa’s dress, although I generally like her and her sister for putting together outfits I might actually wear, some of which I could actually afford. Just not this one, probably on either count.

  34. Sophia

    @czander And Kate is K. Middy. Together they are The Middies.

  35. ceecee

    Why does Pippa have the Eye of Sauron on her dress?
    As for the rest, yuck (although I’m putting Aztec Snuggie on my Christmas list).

  36. Fuh Ugh

    Ah Fug Nation (Fug World?), you are bringin’ it today! LMAO.

  37. anny

    Knee zippers: OBVIOUSLY she’s slipcovered her knees while she prepares for/recovers from baggy knee skin plastic surgery. Duh.
    @Willow – OMG, I’m wearing that RIGHT NOW!!1!

  38. Dani

    Ah, ‘S’, the person sitting next to Pippa is not Kate. Despite wearing very Kate heels.

  39. Christopher D

    YES, YES, YES, RICK JAMES… (sorry to shout) in Drag, OMG yes!
    Swinton looks chic and casual perfection, sigh.
    Everything else, Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… with UGLY shoes.

  40. Sando

    Swinton = Fabulous. I want to be her.

  41. Nora

    Swinton doing my taxes. That is awesome! Where DO you come up with this stuff? She looked great.

    And KStew cleaned up nicely. Well done, pretty girl!

    Whitney’s hair was, literally, too much. And I hate that awful, orangey color on it. And the chick in the bad sweater needs a hot oil treatment and a trim, stat.

  42. Veronica

    I think Swinton and Pippa look great. I like the second dress on K Stewart (it’s a little short, but hey, that’s what your twenties are for), though I wish she gone with something other than booties with it. They look odd with the skirt length, though kudos on her wearing the same shoes twice. Despite her clothes, though, I have to say SHE looks great. Whoever does her makeup does it very well; I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of her that made me cringe at her face.

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  44. Sajorina

    Pippa’s dress is cute! SWINTON looked awesome! And, I loved both of Kristen Stewart’s looks! Everything else… I hated!

  45. delpheena

    I totally thought that first Pippa-photo was Demi Moore. Scary.

  46. Ailatan

    -Naomi Campbell suffers of Katherine Heigl cheeks, those shades look hideous on her.
    -Bonnie Wright needs to trim her hair a bit and be sent home to change, nothing can salvage that outfit.
    -KStew looks lovely in both outfits.
    -SWINTON rules supreme.
    -Aztec snuggie lady is the proof that British people take eccentricity to another level.

  47. Alyssa

    @ceecee – I just laughed LOUDLY at your “Eye of Sauron” comment, which means I am…officially a huge LOTR dork.

  48. Rebekah

    I would wear what SWINTON is wearing.

    I think that’s the first time I have ever said that.

  49. elle

    I hate to disagree, but I literally had nightmares about SWINTON’s jumper the night this was posted. Please, never again!

  50. Sofia

    so many WTFs i don’t even know where to start

  51. Sanne

    I really like the dress on Kirsten, I didn’t know she was this pretty. SWINTON looks awesome, as usual. Kelis, seriously??
    Whitney Port could be the 4th Charlie’s Angel, if they ever needed one.

  52. jean

    Stewart’s hair was super-pretty in both pictures. And I loved SWINTON’s hair color too. She’s the queen of precision haircuts, isn’t she? Does she allow bed-head? Would her hair dare?

  53. juanita

    Pippa’s dress is hilarious! Nobody could wear such a hideous thing and expect to be taken seriously. I don’t personally think the Middleton sisters do a whole lot of good ‘PR’ for a brand other than endorse it for the over 60′s. This, I know, is a cruel remark but – hey – it’s true!!

  54. new girl

    Welcome to London! As a New Yorker stranded across the pond for several years I have gotten used to this as “fashion.”

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