Hey y’all!

GUESS WHAT? Like Celine Dion before me I have moved to Vegas and now I live in Vegas and I have a show in Vegas and do you know what else they have in Vegas that I love? SLOT MACHINES. AND ALSO BUFFETS. And also it’s really easy to get married here which is great for me and also Elvis lives here and I seriously thought he was dead but I guess I should be used to the fact that no one ever tells me anything by now. ANYWAY. Let’s look at all my outfits that they’re making me wear even though I don’t want to.

[Photos: Splash]

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Comments (54):

  1. Alicia

    I sort of feel that if a guy is comfy wearing hotpants over lace-patterned fishnets, he is probably not interested in the admiration of women.

    I also sort of feel that you shouldn’t be able to see the waistband of the fishnets under the glitter bodystocking.

    • Marph

      While I completely understand your concern about seeing the waistband under the glitter body stocking, I feel like the laser coming out of her hoo-ha is a more urgent matter to be attended to.

      • Alicia

        I think that seems very useful. I want one.

      • Tiffany

        I get the feeling that a tank filled with women with frickin’ laser beams attached to their hoo-haas will be appearing in the next Austin Powers movie….

  2. Mair Mair

    It’s only Jan. 2, but I’m hereby declaring no. 5 one of my favorite photos of 2014.

  3. Stefanie

    Im not even going to pretend Im not excited to see her show. Im so pumped. I love Brit and only want her to succeed and be happy. SO HERE TAKE MY MONEY!

    And I love her in the short wavy wig. She should seriously cut her hair like that.

  4.  Julia

    It’s like laser polterwang. Or something.

    All I know is that picture is PRICELESS.

    • ChristieLea

      I don’t care that you just made up “Laser Polterwang”, that phrase is AWESOME.

    • jerkygirl

      Yes, she needs to do a song called “Laser Polterwang” and at the end of the song all the backup dancers need to have it too and they can do a big sychronized dance/laser light show as a big finale. It would be glorious.

      • ChristieLea

        Annnnnd there’s the first GFY Comment Of 2014 that made me do a spit-take. BWA HA HA HA!

      • Jen S. 2.0

        That may well be the most awesome visual ever in life.

        I’m a little indifferent to Britney, (although certainly I wish her all the best in her career and motherhood and mental/emotional health) but I would pay good money to see that live.

  5. ChristieLea

    I seriously think #8 is a repurposed circa-1990 bathing suit…one of those ones that were supposed to be “body-flattering” because of the hourglass pattern.

    And yet…now I want to go to a Jazzercise Rave.

  6. Sandra

    I’m so glad that my job not only expects but requires that I wear pants. Skirts and dresses are okay also, but definitely full complete garments.

  7. Rachael

    Britney looks pretty awesome in the dark hair/dark clothes getup. She should possibly look into that haircut and color for real.

  8.  Sarah

    I feel like the costumer looked at pictures of Brit from 2000 and figured, hey it’s been 14 years and two kids there’s no way her body has changed at all. She has a nice figure–it’s just no longer the body of a teenager and these outfits just accentuate that.

    • Art Eclectic

      I disagree – I think the outfits are fine on her curvier figure. Although, the ones in the first two pics are not flattering..on her or anyone else.

      •  HelenBackAgain

        I’m with you, Art, I think she’s looking very sexy in these outfits. Just… the waistband thing, that one should only be seen from a distance. Although the hoo-ha laser is HILARIOUS.

    • Scout

      So she’s gained a few pounds–she still looks spectacular, and she’s in great shape. I think a lot of people find her body type extremely attractive. Go Britney!!

  9. Gigi

    She’s got one of those bodies that is both curvy and naturally athletic and therefore when she’s in shape is kinda exactly what brings the boys to the yard (hot), and yet ten pounds away from looking like unmitigated overeating trash. Beware the buffets, Brit! Once you’re 40, you don’t bounce back easily!

    The wig in the last shot is awesome on her!

  10. ringthing

    Hmmmm, that laser looks like it might be…. Toxic. HA.

  11. TonyG

    I cried, Jessica. I cried. One of the best Brit posts ever!

  12. karen

    *blink* well, that’s certainly a lot of leotards, isn’t it?!

    ps – Great post & the comments have sent me into fits of giggles! Well played, Fug Nation.

  13. Faye

    I love Brit, and wish her the best, and am glad she is no longer in the midst of The Troubles, but . . .oh, girl, your costumer is doing you no favors. She’s certainly not hideous, but she is dressing like she’s still a young, pre-baby Britney, and the reality is that she isn’t. I’m not saying she has to wear a nun’s habit, but maybe some outfits that are a leeetle less revealing might be more flattering?

    I do wonder what her show is like -I’d love to hear from someone who has seen it.

    • Lynnie

      Talk about fat-shaming. I think a lot of people would aspire to have her body, which looks great. These are costumes for a Las Vegas Show; she’s not wearing them to go grocery shopping. Why is it OK to bash Britney because she no longer weighs 95 pounds and not OK to criticize other people’s less-than-perfect bodies (in other words, 90% of people on here, if you really want to get picky)?

      • Jessica

        Saying something isn’t flattering is not fat-shaming and I don’t think anyone here wants to bash Britney. Let’s all post thoughtfully here, though.


      •  Stephanie

        I think we talk about what flatters someone all the time on here. I didn’t take it as insulting her body.

      • Faye

        I can’t believe I’m getting drawn into this, but saying that certain things are not flattering is not “bashing” in any way. It’s kind of impossible to have a site like this without phrases like that, no? I wish Britney well, and think she’s very attractive. But if she puts herself on stage in next to nothing costumes, surely we’re allowed to comment on what she looks like in them? I re-read my post and did not find anything insulting there. I agree that we should be thoughtful in what we say here -and that includes how posters speak to each other.

        Comments like “she’s fat” or “God, eat a sandwich” are IMO not acceptable. Saying an outfit isn’t the best look for someone should be ok. Jessica or Heather can correct me if I’m wrong.

        For the record, I thought she looked good with the dark wig and clothes. I would have liked to see more outfits like that.

        •  Stacey

          I didn’t think you were fat-shaming her with your first comment at all, and agree 100% with what you said.

    •  Stephanie

      I agree– i think her body is fantastic, but she looked best in the pants shot to me. I especially don’t like the leotards with sneakers.

    • Nancy

      I agree. I am so glad this woman has reclaimed her life and looks healthy!! Yes, this is what a healthy body looks like. We are so used to seeing models and actresses who are, let’s be honest here, although we are not allowed to say it – anorexic, that a healthy body looks bigger to us. But she is lovely, and healthy, and should have had a costumer find different cuts or angles to the clothes that flatter her lovely body. Not fat shaming at all, she is just not 17 anymore. None of us are, actually!!!

  14. Tamarin

    But so many of Brit’s iconic outfits featured pants…I mean, the 90s were all about crop tops and flare pants.

  15. Scout

    These are fabulous!!

  16. Tiffany

    I am REALLY not understanding why there are high-waisted panty hose under a sheer unitard. Whaaa?

  17. Nan

    Britney, I love you and I am saying this with the best of intentions. Complete your Vegas obligation, don’t sign up to do anything else, take your millions, go have a happy life away from the public. You earned it, enjoy it in peace.

    •  HelenBackAgain

      Unfortunately, it isn’t up to her.

      • fritanga

        Yes. The overall feeling of “performing monkey” and “cash cow” pervades every photo from this show. It’s just sad and has been for a long time now.

  18. Art Eclectic

    While I won’t be spending money to see any Britney shows, after a few cocktails I’d be totally down for the Labial Laser Light Show – Featuring the Best Vegas Female Celebrity Impersonators. Just think what they would do for Cher@!

  19. anne p.

    What I’m seeing (admittedly without my glasses) is Sarah Palin in a blonde wig.
    Now THAT’s entertainment!

  20. fritanga

    This is hilarious, as usual, but at the same time: that poor girl. They really should just let her rest.

  21. Squirrel!

    Outfit #1: owl.

  22. TonyG

    I just noticed that on the laser-beam-from-her-hoo-ha shot that her costume seems to have labia ridges sewn into it…please tell me those ARE sewn in…PLEASE!

  23. dreaminlace

    I think the story of Britney Spears is one of the saddest stories ever…and this only breaks my heart more. At least they seem to have her highly medicated, making this at least somewhat more humane…