I remember when high-waisted jeans came back around in, what, 2005? And I was screaming myself hoarse about the crimes they commit against a person’s groin. They are a pelvic prison. And then they disappeared. AND THEN.

Selena Gomez has found a pair, and wore them to an audition. I hope this was for a Lifetime movie about that time Fergie wet herself on-stage in high-waisted shorts, and Selena was going for abdominal verisimilitude. Otherwise, I can’t think of why anyone would want to do that to themselves. Here’s a closer look:

I just don’t get why it’s flattering to have THAT MUCH fabric BELOW your zipper. It’s total bulge bait. A plea for a polterwang. Let’s say no to it. As a society.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]