Hilariously Played, Lucy Liu

This first part isn’t funny.

It’s fine. It’s got a pretty neckline. She’s Lucy Liu, so basically, she’s gorgeous. It is simple and straightforward and doesn’t merit any particular attention, to the point where my attention keeps drifting to the row of lights behind her, and how they look like tiny drum, and how challenging it would have been for me — as a deeply immature person — to walk past those without improvising some hot bongo action.

And then I saw her coat. I don’t mean to brag, but I think this is an excellent use of the jump.

This is where Jess and I would invoke our favorite parody of how trailers for terrible movies are forced to use quotes that are chopped up with ellipses into palatable, vague statements that are flat facts at best. Namely, “Lucy… has… created… a… jacket.” It is stupefying. It is a MARVEL. It is an endangered species unto itself. It is a bird with buttons. It is a poncho blazer. A ponchzer. A blazcho (which also sounds like a chilled soup). It is the Talking Heads crossed with an aviary, and you may ask yourself, “My God, what has she done?” It is terrible. And it might be terrific.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (78):

  1. Jasmine

    My God.

  2. Carrie

    She looks like a piece of creepy wall art sprouted arms and came to life.

  3. Jacquilynne

    That jacket looks like it was made for Cassandra: http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/File:Lady_Cassandra.jpg

  4. Mrs. Ditter

    “It is The Talking Heads crossed with an aviary” might be the most brilliant sentence ever written…my God, indeed. And also: it looks as if it is hung from an easel, and she is leaning forward and poking her arms through the arm-slits. Or she’s wearing a sandwich board. Or has a yardstick balanced on her shoulders. She is, as always, tremendously gorgeous and graceful-looking, even with this thing perched on her.

  5. Art Eclectic

    I had no idea David Byrne was creating his own fashion line.

  6. Nancy

    Yes to all of the above, but she can get away with it because she’s got that face.

    Is anyone else watching Elementary? They are dressing her is some very hideous, nonsensical outfits. I was hoping the Fug Girls could work their magic with her Elementary outfits.

    • Sajorina

      I watch Elementary and I love it! Her wardrobe on the show is basic and plain, nothing special, but she’s the sidekick, so I understand that they can’t make her the center of attention!

      • Eliza Bennett

        I love Elementary too! She usually dresses like she just left yoga class.

  7. Erin

    What in holy hell is this?

  8. meggyoh

    How bad is the fact that I kinda like it?

  9. Sajorina

    She looks like an OWL! It is dramatic and commanding! FUG, yet FAB! it’s FUGULOUS! And, now I want to play those little drum lights!

  10. Anita

    Two questions:
    1- Can she twist at the waist in that…thing, or does she have to turn her whole body?
    2- Did someone hide all the mirrors between the time she put on the dress and put on the jacket?

  11. amys

    She’s wearing an Owl Stockade…but but but….I think she looks resplendent.

    • Jasmine

      Oh my God, an owl stockade is actually the most apt description ever.

      • pidget

        I agree. I hate it – I love it – she is compelling. So pretty, she wins, stockade or no. And I suspect she also has a wicked sense of humour.

        This is not my beautiful house…

  12. floretbroccoli

    Am I not reading carefully enough, or is there really no mention of her Jogging Fur?

  13. Joan

    That’s making me itch. Love the dress though

  14. Steph

    It’s a blazcho with the most epic shoulder pads since anything Melanie Griffiths wore in Working Girl.

    • Vandalfan

      It’s like she left in the coat hanger.

      I do like the way the neckline of the dress is revealed, and I love her bracelet and clutch.

  15. O

    It looks like one of those cardboard cutouts that you stick your hands and head through.

    • Danna

      ITA! My first thought was “sandwich board”, followed closely by my sedond thought “has to be Stella McCartney”.

  16. celia

    That is so horrid. She looks like a paper doll.

  17. house mouse

    This is so ugly. And AMAZING, and I WANT TO MARRY IT.

  18. Jennifer

    I just keep staring at this and repeating the word “Wow” in a stunned voice.

  19. TaraMisu

    I can’t even.

  20. Donna

    Oh my god, I just love this so much! It is indeed hilarious. A total trompe l’oeil of a painting.

    But it’s her expression that is really selling it for me: did she lose a bet? Was she paid big bucks to wear it? Because she really does not have “this is my choice” on her face.

  21. sabine

    I adore this coat. It is not flattering. It is show stopping. And it has a sense of humour.

    An absolute marvel!

  22. Joemama

    It is Swinton-esque.

  23. witjunkie

    As far as looking fashiony on purpose, it’s OK, it’s not as head-scratching as some things I’ve seen, but the fact that the feathers are printed on (aren’t they? They look printed on to me) and not real is what sends this hurling backwards into WTF for me.

    But the dress? and its shoulder detail? Gorgeous.

  24. deee

    Owls are “in”. Aren’t they?

    I wish I could type out the noise I made when I first saw the coat. It was kind of inquisitive and kind of guttural.

  25. deee

    Is anyone else getting a Stella McCartney Adidas shopping link at the top of the page? Attention everyone, don’t click all at once and shut down the site. ROTFL!

  26. mue

    Lucy looks fine now that she’s on ELEMENTARY and not just a target for people who see her in photographs to comment on.

  27. CreLa

    It’s awesome because owls are among the most splendid forms of life to ever grace the planet. Of course it is not flattering, but it has a sense of humour and is unique. If I tried that on (and had her budget), I would say what the hell, I’m wearing this thing.

  28. pantsonfire

    “It is the Talking Heads crossed with an aviary, and you may ask yourself, ‘My God, what has she done?’ It is terrible. And it might be terrific.” This may be one of the best things I’ve read all year. Clever, imaginative, absurd, funny. Well done, GFY Heather!

    Also, I love Lucy Liu and if she wants to rock a terrifying and intriguing blazcho, I can dig it (particularly because she executed it the only possible way it had a ghost of a chance of working).

  29. Stefanie

    I LOVE IT. LOVE LOVE LOVE. So redic. So awesome.

  30. Susan

    YES! That just made my whole day.

  31. Donna

    One more thing: please imagine this with Thomas Jane’s chicken feet http://gofugyourself.com/emmy-awards-scrolldown-well-fugged-thomas-jane-09-2011

  32. Gauthier

    This is everything. I love it un-ironically, the dress AND the coat.

  33. foo

    Hot damn I love this. (and the write up was brilliant :) )

    The dress is gorgeous, the coat is legit fun and it just gave me a flashback to the Williwaw episode from Scooby Doo.

    She always looks great.

  34. anny

    This is actually really tastefully deployed. Wanna see how bad it COULD have been?

  35. regina

    I love how the blazer buttons are there, as if it is just another blazer.

    “It might be a bit chilly at the event, so I’ll just grab that blazer…”.

  36. Julie M

    Oh I want it just so I can wear it to next year’s parent-teacher conferences at my kids’ high school. Also my mom collected owls and was a huge fan of shirts with funky prints so I could wear it as a homage to her because she totally would have bought this.

  37. Donna

    Just noticed the peacock clutch. I think to have clashing feathers is misguided. This blazer is so strong on its own, a plain, dark clutch would have sufficed.

  38. mepe

    Ms. Lucy is totally owning this look! This item could look truly terrible on someone else…especially if they were to wear it with the matching dress ala the runway. But Lucy is completely rocking that outerwear (what DO you call it?)!

  39. Gill

    It *is* terrific. She is totally working it! (Even in her post-yoga outfits on Elementary she looks gorgeous, it’s profoundly depressing.)

  40. Donna

    That is so ludicrous that it’s entirely fantastic! I love it! I want one! Ten points for Lucy!

  41. Diva

    That coat is going to give me nightmares. Trust. I ran into Ms. Liu on the street while I was walking my dog and she was walking with friends and she commented on how cute my dog was. She looks the same in person, perhaps better. So lovely. My male friends were jealous.

  42. Aparatchick

    You’ve written some great stuff this year, but I don’t know how you’ll ever top this: “It is the Talking Heads crossed with an aviary, and you may ask yourself, “My God, what has she done?” It is terrible. And it might be terrific.”

    And you’re right: the blazcho is both. Utterly amazing.

  43. Tiffany

    I actually love the jacket. It is inventive and beautiful. I think fashion should be fun, and only a star could go to this extremes. I think it is a gorgeous piece of craftsmanship, and I am so glad someone had a reason to wear it.

  44. The Fugger

    It is terrible. And it is most definitely terrific.

    Fixed that for you.

  45. tigerstripes

    She looks like a fabulous monster from Greek mythology with the head of a beautiful woman and the body of an owl. I think I actually knew the name of that in sixth grade — I loved mythology — but I’ve forgotten.

  46. Guerra

    I love it!!

  47. Emily Hinton Dunbar

    It looks like feathers SCREEN PRINTED on stiff canvas–not feathers at all.

  48. gryt

    Omg I love it!! And I now love her!

  49. Sandra

    If it wasn’t so boxy, i might legitimately love this.

  50. Toni

    It looks like something Fred Flintstone would wear… She’s kinda working it though, and I feel I should hate it but I don’t…

  51. hippetyhop
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