Greta Fugwig


Dear Sheers:

STOP IT. I’M OVER IT. I’m so far over it that I’m actually down underneath it getting ready to climb up a fireman’s pole so that I can be over it AGAIN and then slide down and land on it and crush it to bits and then dance on its remains while guzzling Diet Coke and throwing sandwiches around like confetti. And then, in addition to being vanquished, you’ll be responsible for a lot of sad, lonely sandwiches no one can eat because they landed on the ground. CAN YOU LIVE WITH THAT? OF COURSE YOU CAN’T. So please go and hide for a bit.

Much obliged,

Heather

[Photo: FameFlynet]

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Comments (33):

  1. Cranky Old Batt
    0

    Holy crap is what you wrote hilarious. The Chuck Norris of smack downs.

    And all I got was, what an ugly maternity dress.

    • Sally
      0

      Cranky, if you wear a dress that makes people think ‘when is she due?’ you should probably change. Unless you are pregnant. And my first thought was “When is she due?”

  2. Jules
    0

    It’s certainly not up to the Scarlett O’Hara-level of Making Dresses Out of Curtains. If you’re going to make a dress out of curtains you may as well make a whole dress, not a fancy peek-a-boo nightie for your half-slip.

  3. Evalyn
    0

    Dress by WTFSheers, slip by Sears. Why? Whywhywhywhy?

  4. Rowynn
    0

    Too bad she couldn’t have chosen a dress that would live up to those shoes – they look like they could have been awesome.

  5. Christian
    0

    That outfit is almost as frightening as “House of the Devil”. Just a big bag of no.

  6. Orange Clouds
    0

    Hahahahahhahahhahahhahahahhahaha!

    My initial reaction after seeing that “dress”. What is that?? A sheer-nightie-hybrid from spinster hell?

  7. SK
    0

    Speaking of sandwiches, you guys NEED to see this website! http://www.grilledcheeseacademy.com

  8. BookieBookie
    0

    What is with all the shiny black ruffles on the RC lately? Not to mention the sheers. Lord, the sheers.

  9. Moi
    0

    Sheers are for curtains, the bedroom, and lounging about on one’s divan while reading Valley of the Dolls and scarfing Milk Duds. In other words: in one’s home, not in public.

  10. bambi_beth
    0

    P.S. Sheers, please take topknot with you when you go. Thank you for your your assistance with this matter.

  11. Francesca
    0

    I almost liked the shoes, but upon closer inspection, her feet look like cat burglars. And that’s not a bad thing if she can steal a better outfit (Bed Bath & Beyond isn’t a fashion house, as her made-from-shower-curtain proves). I could clean out my dog’s brush and create a more stylish hair style, too.

    • Claire L1
      0

      Haha! They really look like they’re staring at me….
      And I’m with you on the hair…. am I the only one who thinks the Donut Bun should have been left as just a donut?

    • Christian
      0

      Hahahaha they do look like cat burglars. Awesome.

  12. Sam
    0

    How intimidating is your stylist, if s/he can hand you this with a “Put it on.” and you obey?

    What a scrolldown fug. Top looked like 5-year-old girl at a funeral, then I scrolled further and OHMYGODTHEHORROR.

  13. Claire L1
    0

    On that note… I’m loving the guy, behind her, wearing industrial ( though well polished) shoes with a suit…. my hubs does that and it’s just so hot ( to me)…..

  14. flitzy
    0

    Since no one has mentioned it yet, I’m going to ahead and pile on, by saying that I also hate the shoes.

  15. tassie
    0

    I LOVE THOSE SHOES

  16. Eliza Bennett
    0

    That is motherfing madness. I feel irrationally angry. also, que the frick?! That monster has POCKETS?! My smelling salts, children!

  17. Kathryn
    0

    You know, the neck up, ankle down, and wrist outward are all fabulous. But everything in the middle should be burned, or more likely, melted.

  18. Fat Desdemona
    0

    The shoes are delightful! But, dear lord, that dress is SO unflattering. Why do women with beautiful bodies dress so frumpy? Maybe it’s not so hideous from a different angle? I’m just trying to be devil’s advocate.

  19. Susan
    0

    I HAVE TO AGREE WHOLE HEARTEDLY WITH YOU. THOSE SHEERS JUST HAVE TO GO……. THEY DO NOT LOOK GOOD AT ALL…..

  20. Joyce
    0

    oh no! Greta Gerwig is BEAUTIFUL! What’s happening here? :(…

  21. vandalfan
    0

    Moreover and in addition to the sheer curtain, Sears half-slip, and wonkus bunhead issues, there’s the fact that the top is a size and a half too small.

  22. Mariela
    0

    The top’s just a boring, too tight LBD.

    The bottom veers sharply right into a reverse Naughty French Maid costume from Frederick’s of Hollywood.

    Cosign the WTF topknot crap.

  23. Bottle Ginger
    0

    That dress is SO ghastly that it’s even making the shoes look bad!

    Those shoes are awesome. If she wore them with a proper little black dress, we’d all be lusting over them.

  24. Sajorina
    0

    I decided to concentrate on the shoes because they’re AWESOME… I love & want them with a passion! Everything else is just a blur since I must keep my sanity!

  25. Ms. A.
    0

    This is a hell no, head to toe.

  26. THE VIKTIMS
    0

    Yes girl! Work that half slip!

    http://viktima.blogspot.com/

  27. McLisa
    0

    You know the part in Rosemary’s Baby where Mia Farrow walks over to the carriage and lifts the BLACK SHEER CURTAIN covering her devil baby’s face? Yeah.