I’m sure people will think I’m being too nitpicky here, but it’s Halloween, I have a Princess Leiarrrrrrrr costume to put together (the beans are going as a stormtrooper and a pirate, respectively, so Princess Leiarrrrrr is my attempt at connective tissue), my allergies are acting up, and I heard a rumor about a coming global wine shortage. I am in no mood for baloney today.

This entire outfit looks like it was thrown at her by her grandmother. The coat has potential, but I hate its proportions with the outfit underneath it; I want something crisp and stylish, and TAILORED, under there. I also hate her slacks, and indeed slacks as a concept. When they’re slacks, and not pants, I feel like it’s because there is no style to them except those sharp-as-a-dagger ironed pleats straight down the front.  Even when I was a kid, and somebody suggested putting on a pair of slacks, I would shrivel up inside (whereas if someone has just said “pants” I would’ve been fine — weird reaction to have, but then, nobody ever said I wasn’t weird).  And then she’s got those shoes…Granted, she’s at the Marie Claire Power Women Lunch, but she looks like she’s in costume as a power woman from 1998 who just got promoted at Gap Corporate. You’re young, you’re fun, you’re the girl on Girls everyone seems to want to dress the most. Is this it? Is it? Is this all there is? I am having an existential crisis on behalf of her wardrobe. And now if you’ll excuse me, I need to locate an eyepatch that will fit around enormous hair buns.

[Photo: Getty]

Leave a reply

Comments (56):

  1. Hannah

    It always confuses me when women wear winter coats with strappy/open toed shoes (maybe with the exception of an evening event where they are hurrying somewhere fabulous with a gorgeous sparkly holiday dress underneath the coat).

    • Amalia

      EXACTLY what I was coming to post. EITHER your big winter coat OR your fancy shoes. Is it cold or isn’t it? (I guess if you take a car service everywhere, cold is just an abstract concept.) However, in all fairness, I love the color of that winter coat, so, just give it to me and I’ll wear it with my suede boots. Problem solved.

      • Mel

        THIS!! Thank you for sparing me having to type it! Either you’re hot or you’re cold. Make up your mind!

        • Anne

          My friends occasionally wear an open shoe / wintercoat combo and I never understand why. They assure me their feet don’t get cold that way, but I just can’t believe that!

    •  gryt

      Hence my hatred for open-toe booties (eww).

  2. Caro

    I hate slacks too, and I really hate these slacks. And I agree this outfit wasn’t well thought out. Grow up, Alison woman.

    • Sue

      And I thought “slacks” and “pants” were merely two different words for the same article of clothing. Dopey me, apparently.

      Can I get a precise definition of each, please? Thank you so much!

    •  gryt

      The only time I ever see the word ‘slacks’ is in crime novels—written by men—when they (cluelessly) describe what some woman is wearing. Haha. Who the heck says slacks??!!!

  3. Carol

    Heather – GET A GRIP. It’s going to be OK!!!

    But yes – that coat is swallowing her whole. Those slacks are not fun, I too wish it was more fitted and tailored. Those shoes – I just can’t even. SO UGLY. WHY?????!!!

    Ok now I have to get a grip!!

    Also: I always looked huge hipped in SLACKS but pants were more forgiving.

  4.  kissmyang

    OH H!!!
    I will send you a dollar to post a pic of your Princess Leiarrrrrr costume…I am in love with the idea.
    I hate this entire outfit except the coat…or maybe I’m only in love with the color??? But I think her hair looks great.
    This global wine shortage has me in such a state…and it ain’t pretty.

  5. Miss Chanandler Bong

    Maybe it’s because it’s cold out and i’m always wearing my boyfriend’s huge sweatpants and cardigans around the house to save $ on heating bills, but I’m sort of into the over-sized clothes look. Alison has nothing to prove body-wise, and I actually think this outfit makes her look taller (even though the pants are long) somehow. Plus, her skin / hair are flawless. I say this is a win.

  6. Melanie

    I feel like this is what Dorothy Zbornak would have worn in her younger days. Huge oversized coat and slacks because you know that woman loved a good pair of slacks.

  7. HelenBackAgain

    This would be fine if everything weren’t at least three sizes too big, and she had worn fall/winter shoes instead.

    As is, it just looks droopy and sad, and slightly crazy because of the summer shoes with the winter coat.

  8. Rowynn

    Y’know, she is so pretty, and that coat is such a great color on her, that I almost think she is pulling this off, except for the shoes. They are such a jarring note that they’re making us find fault with the pants and coat, where maybe we wouldn’t have, otherwise.

  9. Lux

    I like this from the waist up. I agree that those slacks are totally aging on her; something tighter (and HEMMED) would be much better.

  10. Alicia

    Disappointed – I was hoping Princess Leiarrrrrr would be a Wookiee Leia.

  11. kindakute

    No sense of style.

  12. Stefanie


    But ya, the outfit sucks.

  13. Cristina

    I like the idea of this far better than its execution.

  14. Ambrosia

    The coat should either be shorter or longer. The slacks are too white, too long and are doing something strange in the crotch area.

  15. mue

    Ever since the Norweigens showed up wearing orange coats during the Opening Ceremonies of the 2012 Olympics, I’ve liked orange coats. So i like this, no matter what else she’s wearing.

    • Sandra

      Was that the Norwegians? I thought for sure it was the Dutch team. But yeah, tall blonde hotties in orange coats worked verrrry well for me.

      And Heather, you’re a great mom. Being a space-princess-pirate is what love is all about.

      • mue

        I believe you’re right. The Dutch men wore orange pants, and the Dutch women wore blue dresses and orange coats. I only knew that the orange coats were worn by big blonde Europeans.

  16. Claire1

    Yup… the coat could work IF everything under it was sleek and fitted. Everything under could work if the coat were fitted and belted…..
    The shoes…

  17. gayle

    I just want her to wear one interesting outfit I am always bored by her clothes

  18. Jabes

    I hate the word “slacks,” too. Not a huge fan of the word “pants” to be honest, either. I like “trousers.”

    • Pouncer

      Yes! Trousers is my preferred word too.

      • Susan

        I have an aunt who uses the term “dungarees” for jeans. Now that’s a word.

        • Kristin

          My mother-in-law, pushing 80, says “dungarees.” It’s a bit old-fashioned and I suspect it may be one of those words like soda/tonic/pop that is used in specific regions. (Regional dialects fascinate me.)

  19. Elizabeth Gorman

    I don’t find the outfit objectionable as a concept. Hem the trousers, wear a less baggy shirt, and change the shoes to a closed-toe pump or loafer and she’d have it down pat. I hate the color orange on most Caucasian skin tones, but this isn’t too bad. Oh, and PLEASE post the Pirate Leia picture tomorrow!!! Your husband could go as Long Han Solo!

  20. Alanna

    I am also weirded out by “slacks.” Pants FTW!

  21. AM

    The term I REALLY dislike is pant or a jean. As in the pant would look good with a different shoe or boot or the coat would look good with a jean. It’s pants and shoes, as is an s on the end (unless you’re a one leg pirate). On the topic, really like the coat, although orange scares me.

  22. Liz

    I love the coat, shirt, bag, and hair. If she had on slim cut trousers and oxfords or some closed toe ankle boot, she’d look great.

  23. Jeanette

    Imagine belting this coat over a pair of white skinny jeans with ballet flats or Hightops in an appropriate color. (or maybe a trench in this color?)

    She is so pretty and the color looks excellent on her, but the styling is BLAH.

  24. Smi Mog

    pants 5
    nails 4
    coat 0

  25.  jay

    I don’t dislike it, but it does look EXACTLY like an outfit my mom would have put together for me. (Note: my mom is a former gym teacher who basically wears nothing but track suits. She is extremely fabulous in many ways but clothes are an utter mystery.)

  26. Roz

    Since when does orange go with white? Hideous combination.

  27. Nancy Lee 

    I actually love this outfit! I guess I have no taste! :)

  28. Donna

    If she had worn black skinny leather pants and pointy-toe heels instead, and maybe a more fitted top, I think we’d be in business.

  29. greatwhitenorthchick

    I, too, wonder about the schizoid coat/sandal combo. I live in Canada, where we’ve already put away our sandals for the next 6 months.

    I love the coat colour and fabric, but the proportions are the sort you would expect for older women, you know, when we get a little fluffier around the the middle. I don’t mind slacks; they can be very flattering in the right colour. These get the gong, though. What is with the trend of having your pants pool around your ankles? And the white/beige just doesn’t do justice to the season. And the red toenail just seem to make everything worse.

    If the coat had been tailored a little more, paired with dark (brown, black) turtleneck and slacks (maybe even leather) and with a nice bootie, she’d have looked great.

  30. Jen

    What do you mean ‘global wine shortage’?!

  31. Victoria

    Orange. Coat. Want.

  32. Chaiaiai

    All I know is Heather, damn, I’m running out to buy a case of wine TO-DAY. Maybe two. And I LOVE that coat.

  33. anno

    A cream colored sheath dress and closed toe pumps would have been divine

  34. bilbo

    I was so shocked when you said you were letting your kid go as a stormtrooper ( that I nearly forgot to question how on earth Leiarrrr would tie anything together with Hitler. (hint, they mean a different kind of stormtrooper!)

    You’re being too hard on her. She clearly spent too long with her granny, and didn’t have time to go home and change, so the shorter and fatter granny let her wear a swanky new coat from her own closet and said, “Don’t worry dear, you’re pretty enough to get away with it!”

  35. D.j.

    Apart from the shoes this is a knockout outfit , whats the matter with you”

  36. Lily1214

    I really like the orange coat. The rest, meh.

  37. Sajorina

    I’m FINE with it, I just wish she was wearing a bright, bold colored lipstick!

  38. Pamb

    I can deal with the bland, oversized outfit. I can’t deal with those shoes. It looks strange, her toes peeping out like that. It almost looks like she is barefoot. Is she wearing sandals? If she wanted to wear a peep toe shoe, this wasn’t the right one.

  39. Rachelee

    I’ve seen a lot of fug on this site but this really didn’t deserve the craziness it got. This, here, is straw-grasping.