I’m sure people will think I’m being too nitpicky here, but it’s Halloween, I have a Princess Leiarrrrrrrr costume to put together (the beans are going as a stormtrooper and a pirate, respectively, so Princess Leiarrrrrr is my attempt at connective tissue), my allergies are acting up, and I heard a rumor about a coming global wine shortage. I am in no mood for baloney today.

This entire outfit looks like it was thrown at her by her grandmother. The coat has potential, but I hate its proportions with the outfit underneath it; I want something crisp and stylish, and TAILORED, under there. I also hate her slacks, and indeed slacks as a concept. When they’re slacks, and not pants, I feel like it’s because there is no style to them except those sharp-as-a-dagger ironed pleats straight down the front.  Even when I was a kid, and somebody suggested putting on a pair of slacks, I would shrivel up inside (whereas if someone has just said “pants” I would’ve been fine — weird reaction to have, but then, nobody ever said I wasn’t weird).  And then she’s got those shoes…Granted, she’s at the Marie Claire Power Women Lunch, but she looks like she’s in costume as a power woman from 1998 who just got promoted at Gap Corporate. You’re young, you’re fun, you’re the girl on Girls everyone seems to want to dress the most. Is this it? Is it? Is this all there is? I am having an existential crisis on behalf of her wardrobe. And now if you’ll excuse me, I need to locate an eyepatch that will fit around enormous hair buns.

[Photo: Getty]