Fuguary Jones


Well, I didn’t love what Blake Lively wore. But I may have to rescind every negative thought I had about it, as it’s a post-victory tailgate party on a perfect autumn evening with an RV parked right next to you that has DirecTV and an unlimited supply of Cheetos compared with this horror:

Her makeup looks a bit like she shot herself in the face with a cosmetics gun set to “creepy porcelain doll that WATCHES YOU, ALWAYS WATCHES YOU,” but the dress is the saddest clown of all. Every time it cries, a bride gets jilted.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (36):

  1. Gine
    0

    It looks like she tied a garment bag around her middle.

  2. Becca
    0

    What the heck is wrong with her! It’s so frustrating to see these drop dead gorgeous stars wasting all their hottness on crap like this. If I looked like her and had her money, I would look awesome all the time.

    • yvetterene
      0

      The main problem here is that she thinks she does look great. She is just destined to be one of those actresses who just never gets it right. SMH.

  3. Cas
    0

    It looks like the skirt I might have made in my 8th grade Home Ec class. Inexcusable.

  4. Roz
    0

    Egads! I hope I’ll be seeing this again come Fug Madness, 2013!!

  5. Chasmosaur
    0

    Heather – I didn’t know you were a Jonathan Coulton fan!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Olv-aR6JKvQ

    CREEPY DOLL.

  6. Dazie
    0

    WHAT THE HECK IS IT WITH MAD MEN WOMEN??!?

    Mad women? I’M MAD JUST LOOKING AT THIS. And capsy. Sorry.

    Not ONE of them can dress themselves off set.

  7. sop
    0

    She makes interesting fashion choices but doesn’t seem to project enough attitude to carry it off. It’s like the dresses wear her, not vice versa.

  8. Peachsiki
    0

    Was this made for her when she was 5 months into her pregnancy and she just never got around to it? There is no reason why it should look so baggy in her midsection…

    Hang on, I think it’s a sequinned bustier underneath a satin maxi skirt with a smocked waistband from the Forever 21 equivalent of a tall girl store.

  9. Helen
    0

    There is just no excuse for someone who looks like this… to look like this.

  10. Stefanie
    0

    Oh snap! That’s really bad.

  11. Sandra
    0

    A body-shaper teamed with a pillowcase does not an outfit make.

  12. Fifie
    0

    We are all missing the point. Maybe this event was in fact the graduation from Home Ec class and they are all modelling their final projects!

    • Vandalfan
      0

      She must have failed abjectly. This is a sack race sack. With a Walmart tube top.

  13. Christian
    0

    Is it one piece or two? It’s awful either way, I’m just curious. WTF prompted her to put this on? Seriously. Though I secretly kind of like her makeup. I’m a big horror fan so “creepy doll” is right up my alley lol.

  14. jerkygirl
    0

    Hmm, WOW. That skirt looks like the white satin version of my comfy pregnancy pants with the wide elastic waistband, and are those deep pockets on the side? Because it looks like there are. Creepy doll makeup is weird and her hair looks like she just stepped out of the shower. She looks like a horror movie character to me here. And not a victim character either.

  15. Chasmosaur
    0

    You know, I just spent some time going over Chanel collections from the past couple of years.

    Coco is rolling in her grave. Seriously.

  16. Ladyblahblah
    0

    I’m just seeing Alexander Skarsgard in a very ill-fitting outfit. Never noticed they looked alike before. Please don’t date each other, that would be way creepier than the doll makeup.

  17. Shiitake
    0

    Why does she do this to herself?

  18. ellenderavenous
    0

    She is such a beautiful woman who in real life always looks a little bit terrible. Why!?!?

  19. Lily1214
    0

    Where are her feet? How does she walk in this?

  20. Melissa
    0

    Homer’s make-up gun is probably my favourite Simpsons joke of all time. But I never knew they made PajamaEveningwearSkirts.

  21. dee cee
    0

    Yank it up or sew on some straps..

  22. The Fugger
    0

    Because no one has said it:

    HAIL SATIN

    Also, Alexander Skarsgard would look better in this. I’d look better in this. Missy Elliott looked better in this (although at least she had the decency to inflate her own garbage bag first instead of walking around sadly deflated),

  23. Sajorina
    0

    So much FUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Inexcusable!

  24. Julie
    0

    I have to be more careful…I read that first sentence as “I didn’t love that Blake Lively whore…” and I was all, “Wow! That must have been SOME OUTFIT.”

    As for this outfit–the skirt looks like she took the waistband off a pair of boxing shorts and sewed it to a satin waterbed sheet from the 70′s. I really don’t think there is any way to unfug.

  25. katkin74
    0

    “Mort-uary” Jones. Porcelain skin is good, powdered-to-death and bloodless is not.

  26. jean
    0

    I like her bracelet and manicure.

  27. Racine
    0

    I like it! All of it!