First, I am exempting Morris Day from my rant.
The KD is one of the most hardcore old south functions around. I’m not talking about antebellum gear, here. I’m talking about rich southern garg. So what is this here Did they think it was in Malibu? No bucks, no white linen, no panama hats, but most of all (it pains me to type it ) NO SEERSUCKER!
Just a touch of recognition of the cultural matrix would have done, even a properly folded pocket square, but no. We have a suit like a checked table cloth. Morris Day was Morris Day, though, and he is the same in any locale. That was my saving grace.
I don’t know if the Girls cherry-picked the photo selection or what, but the average quality of the appearance of these dudes is light-years beyond the average dude look at an ordinary, say, movie premiere. Viva la Derby! It has an excellent influence.
I miss “Queer Eye” but it was doomed. There were only so many times they could make the “underwear on the floor” jokes, and the “product” jokes. Pity.
Wow, between Star Jones and Morris Day, this was a genuine Parade of Celebrities I’d Totally Forgotten Even Existed.
I saw Carson on some other website and I wondered if the Fug Girls would have a comment about his outfit. If it was on anyone but him I’d probably scream a little and cover my eyes, but Carson makes it work. (I love him.) So, the guy on Carson’s right is his partner? Then why does it definitely look like the guy on his left is grabbing his ass? Or am I imagining things?
Joey Fatone want to sell me two scoops in a sugar cone.
Steven Ammell – try a size up, please! We’ve seen those abs and arms on Arrow (salmon ladder!) and they need room to move. Thx
I would personally move that Stephen Amell never bother with either shirt or jacket (because DAMN), but it was raining in Louisville on Saturday, so that would probably be unfair.
I don’t watch Arrow, but I can still tell by looking at him that that is a man who should not be wearing all those clothes. They’re stifling him! His torso needs to be free!
Wow the guys totally outdid the ladies. Tsk tsk ladies!
Morris Day is horrible & amazing all at once. I can’t stop laughing…
Tiki’s girlfriend… Oh, man. Her face is cute, her dress is cute, but THOSE SHOES are the trashiest things ever! And that hat looks like it’s about 2 sizes too big! Good golly.
Y’all, everybody thought that JT was the stylish man in ‘NSync, but Lance knocks it out of the park time and again! SO cute and well dressed. Hot boyfriend.
But may we have a conversation about brown shoes with gray suits–it really should be a rule for guys. Just like no gym clothing gray shirts with khaki brown shorts–there may be some folks who can attempt it, but that color combo is beyond most guys’ ability to pull off (plus it just looks like you couldn’t be bothered to find even one colored t-shirt because you ran out of clean laundry)!
Great tight tailoring on the suit, but…
The shirt, tie and shoes, just don’t go together. Those three totally turned it into a Fug (or, Unfug It Up) for me.
Lance Bass FTW! He brought it! And The “Queer Eye” guys look great! As an insomniac, I so wish they had reruns on Bravo in the middle of the night!
That picture of Freddie Jackson is AWESOME and the titles of his hit songs had me laughing out loud: “Rock Me Tonight (For Old Times Sake)”, “Jam Tonight”, “Do Me Again,” and “You Are My Lady”! I laughed so hard, my mom asked if I was OK!
Lance owned it.
Oh, seersucker! I worked at Brooks Brothers in high school (in the south too), and we’d lament when the summer heat and seersucker suits would arrive. We affectionately called it a different kind of sucker. Gasp!
Armie Hammer!!! Swoooooooon.
But his ladyfriend (wife?)’s dress needs to be about 3 inches longer. Yikes.
Oh Jessica, you would have won $5 at my house Saturday, because I was the ONLY one who was able to pick Travis Tritt’s name from the nether regions of my memory, and I believe my exact words were “Holy shit, that’s Travis Tritt.”
I also echo your thoughts about Tiki Barber — I ADORED him until I found out about the affair (his wife was pregnant with TWINS!!). He is dead to me now (though he still looks really hot for a dead guy).
Tiki Barber is dead to me too but I also got amnesia for a few seconds when I saw his picture.
That is some powerful handsome mojo.
Well, you can always just look at Ronde. No guilt with that twin.
Me too, and those were my exact words! Except that I had to add “Evil KG” because I have a friend named KG and Travis Tritt looks exactly like him except in an evil twin sort of way!
HAHA! I saw him at the Derby and said, exactly, “Holy shit, is that TRAVIS TRITT?”
Jessica, did you mean Memorial Day when referencing wearing white?
I was wondering if I was the only one who caught that or was I missing a joke there.
Tiki had the greatest fall from grace in Giants history–we loved him until he opened his big fat mouth about Eli (although that did make a lot of fans actually like Eli) and the coach but we could excuse all that until the pregnant wife/ intern fiasco. Luckily no one in broadcasting liked him either because he was supposed to be the breakout star that Strahan became (who did a much better job of apologizing for badmouthing the coach and QB and pissing off wives–his ex-wife had a public yard sale with all his stuff).
Lance looks spectacular and I’m strangely okay with Fatone’s ice cream suit.
Just here to give Scottie Pippen some love. I appreciate that aging-wise, he definitely beat Michael.
agreed – I think he looks smashing, even if wearing shoes that only an aging professional athlete who was probably pretty hard on his feet should get away with. (also: whither Michael? Scottie was just at his wedding (to a 35 year old model, bah).
Terry O’Quinn could seriously smoke my monster any day.
I enjoy how often Anthony Anderson appears as a judge on Iron Chef America.
This post made me laugh out loud no less than 4 times. Thank you, Fug Girls, for brightening an otherwise overcast Monday.
By “do it up” I assume you mean find suits that don’t fit and wear embarrassing footwear.
THANK YOU. Although, if everyone could dress like Morris Day, I’d be okay with that. What is UP with the ugly ass shoes? Something about the camera angle made every single one of them look like they were wearing clown shoes. Fuzzy, gray clown shoes.
Joey Fatone looks like the tablecloths in every Italian restaurant I’ve ever been in.
Joey Fatone’s ensemble is sheer delight! Did he borrow that suit from Cam on Modern Family…because I’m pretty sure he owns one, too.
Right now I feel really old because I remember when Morris Day used to have Jerome Benson following him around hold an umbrella for him. P Diddy completely bit that from Morris. Thanks for the memories, Fug Girls!
Aw, Joey Fatone looks like a fun guy. Lance Bass is looking good lately. Stick it to da hataz, Bass!
The worst thing, re: Tiki, is that his new wife used to be his baby sitter apparently and she only got the job thanks to him in the first place. EWW!
I love Jazz Hands.
That is all.
Travis Tritt’s wife is wearing what Julia Roberts would have worn to the polo match if Richard Gere (and Mary Pat, Mary Kate, Mary Frances and Tovah) had not been there to add a touch of class.
I secretly love the shoes on Travis Tritt’s wife, though. I know they’re probably too shiny for the Kentucky Derby, but I can’t help it.
Queer Eye was doomed because it’s a show for women that features men’s fashion and grooming. And who gives crap about men’s fashion? I am not going to wear men’s shoes or get my hair cut like a guy, so why would I watch it? Any men interested in watching Queer Eye were not the same men who NEEDED Queer Eye.
Also, Terry O’Quinn. Winner.
I have two thoughts. First, I must be old, because I cannot get up to speed with the tight suit pant (and to a lesser extent, jacket) trend. It makes my junk feel sweaty and I don’t have any junk!
Second, GFY Jessica, I feel kinda betrayed. If you are able to wear white jeans, you have been sandbaggin’ with the diet coke/caftan/sweats talk lo these last few years.
True Story: My husband worked as a valet at the local “gentleman’s club” in college (cash under the table…great $). Morris Day & The Time came one night after a show and Morris Day had LIVE GOLDFISH swimming in his platform shoes. Morris Day for the win!
Many awful shoes in this slideshow. What on earth do Carson Kressley and his cohorts think they look like? Fashionable?
I’m sorry but Carson Kressley gets on my nerves!! And I’m a gay man so I can say that….sometimes I just want to slap him!
For this proud Southerner, attending the Derby is in my bucket list. Lots of hats, spring colors, gays, bourbon, brunches, betting and horses .. What’s not to like?