Fug or Fine: Katie Holmes


fug-or-fab

KATIE: So, yeah. ReelzChannel.

TOM: Beats the HeelzChannel!

KATIE: Right. So let’s get this straight. Nicole got To Die For and Moulin Rouge, and I got Mad Money and then a bunch of humiliating song-and-dance appearances and then FINALLY I got to play Jackie O and it’s suddenly just for THE REELZCHANNEL?

TOM: Also better than the WheelzChannel!

KATIE: Uh-huh.

TOM: Or the FeelzChannel, for low-rent porn!

KATIE: Helpful.

TOM: Or the SpielzChannel, all about people standing up and giving speeches! Or the PeelzChannel, for skinning oranges, or the BielzChannel, or the Tatum O’NealzChannel…

KATIE: Are you drunk?

TOM: Why do you ask?

KATIE: Well, you’re not making sense, and your shoes look like you spilled beer on them.

TOM: I resemble that remark! HAHA!

KATIE: I knew it. I can’t believe you told me this looked good. It’s BORING. I just played Jackie O, but I look like Joey P. It’s essentially a TANK TOP. It doesn’t even fit my boobs that well. Remember when I wore expensive stuff that actually LOOKED expensive? Even if it was crazy? I DID NOT MARRY YOU SO I COULD STILL LOOK LIKE JOEY POTTER. NICOLE NEVER DID THIS. WHERE DID IT GO WRONG.

TOM: Probably with us getting married in the first place. It’s kind of like a show on the SurrealzChannel.

KATIE: STOP IT.

TOM: Oh, whatever. Try turning on the SuckItUpAndDealzChannel.

Is it that bad?

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Comments (60):

  1. val.
    0

    It looks like something she picked up at Old Navy’s “stock up event” on sundresses a few weeks ago.

    While that’s fine for someone like ME… Katie Holmes could (and should) do much better.

  2. Willow
    0

    This whole outfit screams Quinn Fabray, and while that is fine on a highschool ex-cheerleader, on Katie Holmes it seems kind of wrong.

    I like the outfit, just not on her.

  3. Jill
    0

    The me that loves Joey Potter and late 90s sundresses, loves this. Though, yeah, when put in the context of a premier, it’s a little casual.

    Which channel IS ReelzChannel anyway? Is it near the music channels? Because I don’t think I’ve seen it.

  4. Kristy
    0

    It kind of matches Tom’s shirt. Which is a little weird for *her* event. And couldn’t someone have told Tom he looks like he’s just come out of the bathroom? That half-tuck…ergh.

  5. Anne B
    0

    Aww. She combed her hair again!

    This dress … don’t tell me. It’s from the episode where Joey Potter helps the guy get from his Vegas bender to the big Hollywood opening of someone else’s movie?

    You got me. That’s another one I probably made up, in the this-show-is-so-boring-I’m-going-to-eat-my-hand days.

  6. Sherri
    0

    On my TV it’s just below the movie channels and just above weather, Nasa, and the Military Channel.

    Oh, she looks so…tired. Like she’s there because she’s expected, not because she wants to be. So sad. He really is a vampire.

  7. Cecily
    0

    It will be interesting, years from now (maybe), when we know the real story behind this whole confusing comingling conflation. She might miss her career/freedom/voice and think it just isn’t worth it anymore, and we’ll get some answers. ‘Til then, I guess, like her dress, she’ll continue to simply blend into the Tomground.

  8. Kate
    0

    Are the different texture stripes in her skirt transparent? Oy.

  9. Melissa
    0

    If Katie were a normal human this would be fine for a picnic or walking on the beach or something….but SHE’S MARRIED TO TOM CRUISE. WHO JUMPS ON FURNITURE (and looks sorta like he had his face done). AND SHE’S AT AN EVENT.

    If you were Jackie O in the dratted movie, then you ought to wear some fantastic vintage Chanel or something.

    OTOH, Katie’s hair looks nice. I wonder what shampoo she uses.

  10. anonymoose
    0

    Good for her for wearing heels despite her escort’s lack of height. I suspect there was an argument about this before they left the house and maybe that’s why Tom’s hair is so messy? Speaking of Tom, why is his face a different color than his neck; is he wearing makeup?! Furthermore, why is KH in a sundress and Tom is wearing a leather jacket?

  11. Candy
    0

    She looks okay. The dress DOES look like it came from Old Navy but its fine. However, what the frick is HE wearing? Did he think they were going to Home Depot?

  12. Jeanie
    0

    Completely agreed with val. This would be cute on someone like me, but I’m not “married” to a movie star!

  13. yvetterene
    0

    It looks like something you would wear to have brunch with your girlfriends on a summer afternoon.

  14. vandalfan
    0

    It’s not such a bad little dress… (cue Charlie Brown Christmas music)

  15. Amanda
    0

    It’s not so bad. They just both look very casual, yet dressed for different climates. Also, her shoes seem too dressy for her outfit and his seem too worn out and casual for his. The whole combination is kind of perplexing.

    However, I think she herself has been looking beautiful lately.

  16. Leanne
    0

    She’s wearing a see-through sundress and he’s got his shirt half tucked in and half out at a premiere? Can we get their friends to stage an intervention? A little dose of Posh, Becks, and the Family Smith would do a world of good here.

  17. C. C.
    0

    Her hair looks good, but I removed points for the effing smirk.

  18. Lindsay
    0

    I think this is super cute. It’s just not event appropriate.

  19. Sneza
    0

    What is happening with her legs??? In every photo of this outfit you can find, her legs are coming out of that skirt at odd angles, in a kind of amateur-photoshop way.

  20. taytay
    0

    one of the answer choices should always be about her shiny hair. i want it.

  21. Anne B
    0

    I’m with Leanne.

    I think I need to see Jada whip these two into shape. One of them, especially.

    “COME ON! You were with Pacey, girl, head UP when you walk! And can we swing a little hip, please? Like maybe two men might maybe WANT to fight over you at the *alternative prom*? (snickers)”

  22. daryl
    0

    oh oh, she’s sneaking awfully close to Mischa Barton territory. Mischa would wear that dress. Just not with those shoes, which are cute.

  23. CJ
    0

    It’s a cute outfit to eat dinner by the beach, but to wear to a premiere? Of your own movie? In which you were playing Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy? Even if it wound up on Nick Jr, if you were playing Jackie Kennedy in a movie, wouldn’t you at least TRY to get dressed appropriately for the event? And that weird smirk and her turned in toes make her look….well…just sad. This is your moment to shine, Katie, and it looks like your downgrading your own effort. Like the shoes though.

  24. Holly
    0

    Can we talk about Tom for a minute? What look is he trying to pull off? The half-tucked shirt, rumply (pegged?!) chinos and the leather bomber jacket. He just looks so cheesy. And the both of them are not dressed up enough for the red carpet.

  25. Heather
    0

    The dress is meh, yes, but the hair and makeup are gorgeous. Too bad about the untucked tool on her arm.

  26. Sandra
    0

    Chin up, Katie. Nicole got much better scripts after the divorce. There’s still hope.

  27. bdaiss
    0

    Gah! Thanks for reminding me to set my Tivo!

  28. fed_esq
    0

    Tom said, “We’re going to a premier.” Katie heard, “We’re hosting a barbeque.” I’ve made the same mistake myself.

  29. Liane
    0

    Wayyy too casual. And somewhat off-topic but has her rack gotten larger? I don’t recall her being quite so boobalicious.

  30. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    Jeez, Tom really is short isn’t he. And now he’s scruffy. Tuck your shirt in. You used to be hot.

  31. lori
    0

    yeah, but her boobs look bangin’

  32. Narie
    0

    I’d say their looks were very calculated. They couldn’t get all gussied up for the Reelzchannel, they’d look even more ridiculous than it feels to have something premiering on such a channel, So he went for a look like he just happened to be in the neighborhood and she went for a JCPenney commercial look. To be fair, this is the best she has looked in months, she doesn’t look half-dead like usual here at least.

  33. Kris
    0

    It’s “meh” for me, she’s worn way worse and way more unflattering, but I really really like her HAIR here!

  34. Sajorina
    0

    I love Katie’s hair and makeup and I like the dress! I don’t like the shoes, though! She looks fine, but what’s up with Tom??? I think that if she was standing by herself in the picture, she’d look cuter, but with Tom standing next to her in that awful outfit, it ruins her overall cuteness! How casual was this event that he thought his outfit was appropriate?

    And, comparing Katie and Nicole is like comparing apples and oranges! If Tom have wanted to be with someone like Nicole, he would’ve stayed married to her! The reason why he’s with Katie is because she’s different that the former Mrs.! And, that’s a good thing… OMG, I’m starting to sound like Martha Stewart!!!

  35. LoriN
    0

    I saw some other pics over at Jezebel and it looks like she had to adjust the straps with a safety pin or something. Niiice.

  36. jocelyn
    0

    I’m going to run over to Old Navy and get one of those dresses for myself.

  37. KeriHelen
    0

    You have no idea how badly I want this to have been their actual conversation.

  38. Alice
    0

    God I wish Tom had stayed with Nicole. They were freakin great.

  39. deee
    0

    Katie looks cute and clean and put together, which doesn’t happen too often lately.

    Tom looks like a total doofus from badly dyed head to stained, clunky toe.

  40. Lily Powers
    0

    Yes, it’s too casual for a movie premiere, but I honestly think this is the best Katie Holmes has looked in years. Her hair looks great, her skin is glowing (more often than not, she’s looking completely exhausted and rundown) and the color of the dress looks beautiful on her. Compared with some of the crazy get-ups she’s worn — so many frumpy ensembles and horrendous jumpsuits — I’d rather see her looking like this. And really… it’s just the freaking Reelz Channel. A summer frock will do.

  41. Lee Frew
    0

    Girls,
    That dialogue was absolutely inspired! Bravo!

  42. NYCGirl
    0

    I actually think the skirt is really cute.

  43. Allison
    0

    Tom and Nicole would of owned that red carpet.

  44. Meg
    0

    Sup, bowed legs?? SO distracting.

  45. Sarah
    0

    They decided to go casual. Maybe she’s preggers again.

  46. hippetyhop
    0

    Another pigeon-toed stance, argh. “I’m really just a helpless little girl, even though I’m taller than my husband.” Seems to me like Nicole used to run the show, making sure Tom looked good. Katie lets Tom be in charge, hence this heinous display.

  47. The Other Molly
    0

    Excuse me.
    They BOTH showed up at a movie premiere looking like they just got back from the amusement park on the boardwalk?
    Is the way they are dressed some kind of silent protest that the movie was dropped by HBO?
    There has to be some reason they both look like they just rolled off the turnip truck.

  48. Matilda
    0

    But what do you expect with Suri as her stylist????

  49. Mary
    0

    Every time I see T.C. smiling that smile (i.e., every picture I’ve ever seen of him), I think: shit-eating grin.

  50. Nina
    0

    I think Narie’s right; they thought these outfits were appropriate for this particular setting. I’ve heard of ReelzChannel, but I have no idea what movies actually air on it. That’s a pretty big drop from a feature film, to AMC (a reputable channel) to this, especially when you consider the topic of the mini-series.

    That said, far too casual for a movie premiere. Katie’s dress screams “Old Navy” and Tom’s “accidental” un-tucked shirt is making me laugh. Even so, he’s still hot. Katie looks meh, as usual. Meh to the hair, to the dress, to her shiny forehead.

  51. Lisa
    0

    Oh man, I totally voted before I read the hilarious option of, “But what is the POINT of being married to him if you can’t do better than this? At your big Jackie O event?!?”…seriously.

  52. Ali
    0

    I totally had a sundress exactly like that (minus the sheer panels) while I was backpacking around Australia 8 years ago. I could roll it up as small as possible, stuff it in my backpack and then shake it out when i needed to wear it.
    That being said, it was 8 years ago, in AUSTRALIA, while BACK PACKING, and spending 95% of my time AT THE BEACH. Also, I wore it with flip flops. At no time did i wear it to a movie premiere accompanying by my multi million dollar midget husband.

  53. lori
    0

    Why is Tom’s face so much paler than his neck?

  54. AJ
    0

    They could of at least bathed. yuck!
    and where is the motorbike.

  55. sal
    0

    Ew! Nothing scary TC does is accidental…the faux beachy half tucked in shirt? A clear attempt to make the wee package the photogs’ focal point..at his child bride’s premiere! Triple eww. I can’t believe her prenup doesn’t have a clause to deter that ilk of whackery.

  56. becs
    0

    They are dressed for a college reunion picnic not a movie premier. Well at least she doesn’t have to wear flats like Nicole.

  57. Jessie the Brit.
    0

    I’m confused. The History Channel UK is still advertising The Kennedys as a ‘four part movie event’.

  58. Emma
    0

    I kind of love it. After a few years of looking old and harried, Katie’s looking youthful and pretty. I think that’s enough – no wow factor needed.

  59. Snark central
    0

    Wow! I didn’t know TC could look any more douchy than he normally does. I find it so disrespectful to Katie for him to dress like that at her premiere. Poor Katie! I really hope they break up soon.

    I’d like to officially rename him: Douchy McFrumpy-pants.

  60. aarwenn
    0

    I’d like to point out that Katie Holmes dropped out of the Batman franchise JUST SO she could star in Mad Money, according to IMDB. HER CHOICE. (Or possibly Tom’s choice, now that I think about it.) She could be getting scripts that will make her the next Helen Mirren and turning them down because she thinks a fun little comedy about wacky hijinks on a family vacation will make her a star.