KATIE: So, yeah. ReelzChannel.

TOM: Beats the HeelzChannel!

KATIE: Right. So let’s get this straight. Nicole got To Die For and Moulin Rouge, and I got Mad Money and then a bunch of humiliating song-and-dance appearances and then FINALLY I got to play Jackie O and it’s suddenly just for THE REELZCHANNEL?

TOM: Also better than the WheelzChannel!

KATIE: Uh-huh.

TOM: Or the FeelzChannel, for low-rent porn!

KATIE: Helpful.

TOM: Or the SpielzChannel, all about people standing up and giving speeches! Or the PeelzChannel, for skinning oranges, or the BielzChannel, or the Tatum O’NealzChannel…

KATIE: Are you drunk?

TOM: Why do you ask?

KATIE: Well, you’re not making sense, and your shoes look like you spilled beer on them.

TOM: I resemble that remark! HAHA!

KATIE: I knew it. I can’t believe you told me this looked good. It’s BORING. I just played Jackie O, but I look like Joey P. It’s essentially a TANK TOP. It doesn’t even fit my boobs that well. Remember when I wore expensive stuff that actually LOOKED expensive? Even if it was crazy? I DID NOT MARRY YOU SO I COULD STILL LOOK LIKE JOEY POTTER. NICOLE NEVER DID THIS. WHERE DID IT GO WRONG.

TOM: Probably with us getting married in the first place. It’s kind of like a show on the SurrealzChannel.

KATIE: STOP IT.

TOM: Oh, whatever. Try turning on the SuckItUpAndDealzChannel.

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