JENNA DEWAN TATUM: So…what’s wrong?
LEA MICHELE: What are you talking about? Don’t I look SO HAPPY?
JENNA: Yeah. But your hair has gotten to the point where it’s covering, like, forty percent of your face now. It’s like you’re trying to hide from the world. (I have been reading psychology books to learn how to deal with everyone’s surprise at the fact that my husband is actually really funny, apparently. No one believed me for years. Survivor’s guilt. No. That’s not what I have. Resentment? Whatever. He’s funny, America. DEAL WITH IT.)
LEA: Are you done with your parenthetical conversation that has nothing to do with my face?
JENNA: Yeah. But I’m worried. You have a really NICE face! Why are you covering it with HAIR?
LEA:…honestly? I forgot to pluck my brows this week. This hair is triage.
JENNA: Now let’s talk about your dress: