The breakup bangs have arrived, folks.

I don’t necessarily think these bangs are REAL — Kim Kardashian, at this point, seems like someone who is way too business-focused to do anything to her appearance that can’t quickly be undone (like, say, by pulling out a clip) — but they are here. And I actually don’t hate them on her. What distracts me MORE is how totally fake the REST of her hair looks. I want to chop it off around her shoulders and give it some loose waves and then see where we are with the fringe. The outfit… well, the outfit is tight, white, and puts her breasts in the spotlight, just like 60 percent of the things she likes to don. It might work for her, but it doesn’t look all that comfortable unless her plan was to ring in the new year by putting her lungs on a diet.

And then there was this:

See that, Humphries? She doesn’t need you! Any ol’ Kris in a tux will do!

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[Photos: Splash News]