Fug Madness 2013 Play-In Game: Melody Thornton vs. Adrienne Bailon


It’s naked vs. naked; nipple vs. nethers. These obscure exhibitionists delivered two of the absolute worst, most tragic ensembles of the year, and that alone would be enough for you to vote on — but, they wore a couple other things, too, so we might as well check in with what they look like when they’re not Rated X. Warning: The second slide is, so tread carefully at work.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Adrienne Bailon (57%, 4,316 Votes)
  • Melody Thornton (43%, 3,297 Votes)

Total Voters: 7,602

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[Photos: WENN, Getty]

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Comments (118):

  1. Jenny
    +50

    Never thought I’d have to say this, but I’ll take visible nipples over visible nether region.. what has the world come to?

    • MG
      +3

      I think of it as homage to Ancient Egyptians. It could be academic. Maybe.

    • Rayna
      +10

      Yeah, Honey Bruce once said something to the effect of: Breasts are not private. Breasts are glands for feeding a child. But down THERE, that’s private.

      Or should be.

    • SugarMagnolia
      +1

      Agreed. Breasts trump nethers on the scale of what’s acceptable to show in public. There is no way Adrienne didn’t know her ladybits would be on display at some point with that first outfit. Forget a gust of wind, all she had to do was just shift her weight and all was on display.

    • Kristen Bryant
      +3

      Yeah, that was exactly what swayed me, too. Full nip beats full vag EVERY. TIME.

  2. Sara
    +5

    That first “ensemble” (does a piece of fabric not-so-carefully crumpled in front of your nethers count as an ensemble?) is so atrocious. I just… I can’t.

  3. Sarah
    +65

    The real loser is taste

  4. michelle
    +13

    I wish you’d mention that the first jump was not only NSFW but terribly unsafe for my peace of mind. That’s what I get for curiousity- now I have to go bleach my eyeballs…

    • Chris P
      +5

      To be fair, that entire slide show is NSFW and not safe for your peace of mind.

      …not that it’s stopping me from looking ON MY LUNCH BREAK (hi Brian and Magda), but I had to tread very lightly.

      • michelle
        +3

        Thankfully I have my own company and work from home but now I may need to take time out for therapy to figure out a way to get rid of the labia picture burned into my retinas.

  5. Alma
    +10

    Wow they’re only 1 vote different!!!

    Nothing is worse than that vagina dress, I mean COME ON

    • Lucille Austero
      +4

      How is it so close???? Honestly, I thought this would be somewhere around 99% for Bailon, possibly even the first perfect score awarded by Fug Nation. If “perfect” and that scrumpled vagina ruffle can be uttered in the same breath. I was thinking Balion would go all the way to the Final Four, if not to the championship.

  6. CakesOnAPlane
    +3

    Just voted and it is tied EXACTLY. It was a tough one that first outfit of Bailon’s has more than one atrocity going on – we have crotch, ass and (removable) thorax ruffle going on. It’s too much, had to vote for her.

  7. Chris P
    +7

    HEATHER AND JESSICA DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE JUST DONE?!

    YOU JUST BLEW UP MY CHER BRACKET THAT’S WHAT YOU’VE DONE

    That is to say, this is a play-in of Peldonesque proportions. And…um…now I’m not so sure that Rita Ora gets to the Elite Eight against EITHER of them – which, considering she’s the #1 overall (or would that be The Biebs?), is saying something.

    I mean, they’re all boned against Hathaway (who is the Florida of this tournament – the Fugida?) but still.

    • Tiffany
      +1

      I know!!! My bracket is going to be so altered with the winner of this round!

  8. Helen
    +13

    Bailon ups the obscene ante, but Thornton’s stuff is uglier. This was a tough one.

    I finally went Bailon because of those disgusting spider-lashes. Ick.

  9. Andrea
    +2

    This is SO. HARD!

  10. Rayna
    +14

    Had to go with Bailon on this tough contest. Thornton, egregious as she is, seems to have an organizing principle. Bailon is just brutally Obscene in All Directions.

  11. Jo
    +5

    Similar to Jenny above I never thought I’d say this but visible nipples seem *attractive* in comparison to the complete yuckiness of the first horror of a cloth.

  12. Amanda In Austin
    +4

    Yeah, I’m with Jenny and Jo. I voted Bailon for that first atrocity. And also because she is Kardashian-adjacent and seems to be proud of it.

    • Maisie
      +3

      And bonus egregious points because I do believe I read somewhere when she first wore that . . . THING that she had personally designed it–if the term “design” can actually be used in this context.

  13. Amalia
    +8

    After the horrors of the first couple slides #6 & 7 looked… refreshingly attractive? Am I losing it so early in the game?

    • Libby
      0

      Exactly how I felt, Amalia. I’m glad I’m not alone in being worried about my judgement so soon. This was a tough play-in game too!

    • Kris
      +10

      Fug Madness Stockholm Syndrome. Happens every year, although not usually so early.

  14. Tracey
    +5

    The first dress on Bailon though… it’s not even a dress… it’s not even an attempt at avant-garde fashion. She’s wearing her mother’s shear kerchief around her body and has scrunched up a some curtains, or a little girl’s organza dress and attached it to her waist so she could flash and say, “Woo hoo”. I don’t even understand it as clothing. And really, to me, the rest of her ensembles were far more egregious than Thornton.

  15. Cecelia
    +5

    I had to vote Adrienne because, while both are bad, as you pointed out she appears to be a poor copycat and has no style of her own and to me that’s a worse fashion crime than having your own style. Melody, while it’s definitely not my taste, seems to have her own wacky sense of style, so she gets extra points for doing her own thing.

    • Darren
      0

      Yeah, Melody comes off with more of a D-list Kat Graham kind of fug where it’s ridiculous but at the same time kind of kitschy and fun.

    • Alice
      +2

      And her copycat style is Kardashian-lite. If you’re going to copy another celeb, wouldn’t you want it to be someone who has good style to start off with?

  16. Lisa
    +3

    Sweet holy Moses these are all hideous! How to choose? I’m still contemplating the horrors.

  17. Aj
    +2

    How both these girls were relegated to a play-in mystifies me. Couldn’t you have let both in and given Lilo a break this year? It could take hours to make the call just on this play-in.

    • Heather
      0

      Because up until I sat down to write this, we didn’t know what else they’d even done this year, and also, I didn’t want to give them that much credit. :)

      • TonyG
        0

        “I didn’t want to give them that much credit.”

        From your keyboard to Fug Nation’s voting fingers.

        It will be so hard not to vote Adrienne Ballion through to the finals, but please Fug Nationalistas, in future rounds, let us not reward her flash of her lower lady lips.

        Full disclosure: I voted for Ballion over Thornton. This will take such will power from me.

  18. Orange Clouds
    +11

    Melody for The Munsters hair alone.

  19. Caroline
    +21

    Went with Bailon in the end but it was tough. My decision is in part based on spending more time than is healthy wondering what was going on with the white rings around her boobs in the first ‘dress’. Light trickery? Makeup? That she made me ponder her boob cosmetics (in addition to displaying her lady-bits) tipped the odds in her ‘favor’. Everyone knows it’s labia OR boobs.

  20. Bianca
    +15

    Remember that awful Cosmo headline that read “Ummm, vagina, are you all right down there?” Yeah, that’s all I could think about looking at that first “dress”.

  21. cynicalsmirk
    +3

    Tits or crotch….saw myself a fancy pair….have to go with Adrienne, because flashing one’s labia is just pathetic and frankly fugly.

  22. tigers4us
    0

    Dang, this was a tough one. But the hideous tablecloth dress(?) wins over the “check out my nips” dress. I have faith in Bailon; she’ll wear a see-through anything in the near future.

  23. laura
    +1

    Thank you Fug Gurls for pointing out who they are as I had no idea, but you have to vote for the one that thought it was ok to flash her who-ha to all of us, right?

    • Heather
      0

      To be fair — I can’t believe I”m saying that — she didn’t flash it on purpose. You couldn’t see it until the wind blew…

      • laura
        +6

        But still, she must have known it was a possibility…

        • TonyG
          +1

          Exactly! On Earth the wind does blow. And when your “cover” is made of tulle…she must have expected this. I am not fooled by her pulling the tulle over after the fact.

      • Libby
        +1

        But she didn’t make sure there was some way to keep the wind from flashing it…

        • Heather
          0

          Oh, I know. It’s not REALLY a defense. I was just clarifying that she didn’t at least lift up the skirt by herself.

          • Chris P
            +14

            On behalf of skirts everywhere, I vehemently object to calling that a skirt.

  24. Jill
    +3

    It’s always tough to choose between two people I’m totally unfamiliar with. I went with Melody, but this was a tough one for a play-in game! Also, yay Fug Madness!!

  25. Sylvia
    +12

    The only vagina I should ever see is my own. I’m so scared. Hold me Ryan Gosling!

  26. Shanti
    +4

    Melody’s dress may be more naked, but Adriennes is more ugly. In a weird way, I actually kind of like Melody’s dress – it reminds me a bit of those Minoan Snake Goddess statues. There is nothing remotely aesthetically pleasing or interesting about that wad of fabric.

  27. Mo
    +11

    Remember when Patsy Stone said “You know, one snap of my fingers and I can raise hemlines so high, that the world is your gynecologist.”? I think Patsy’s been drunk designing for these two.

    • Helen
      +2

      Oh God, that was wonderful. Love the old AbFab! I didn’t think it had the same spirit when they revived it, but the ’92-’96 episodes, well – fabulous!

      And I could absolutely see Patsy approving these things as a fashion editor. She just Did.Not.Care. Ah, good times!

      Except for the whole part where apparently that became reality…

      • mary lou bethune
        +2

        Patsy never looked like a prostitute in a 2 bit cat house in Nevada!
        Isn’t there some law about exposure or the nether regions? Or a law about disgusting behavior? ( as if)

        • Helen
          +3

          >>Patsy never looked like a prostitute in a 2 bit cat house in Nevada!

          That’s true. She looked like a MADAM.

  28. jay
    +3

    I thought Rita Ora had this entire competition wrapped up, but having seen who she’s up against in round one, I think either of these could take it. I’m amazed you managed to get past ‘words’ for any of these outfits.

  29. miss dove
    +4

    Tie goes to the turban.

  30. Crystal
    +3

    Once you go Kardashian….your sense of taste goes out the window.

  31. Heather
    0

    I should point out that you couldn’t see Adrienne’s crotch until the wind blew up her tablecloth. Which… is not an excuse for that outfit, but at least she… SORT OF KIND OF at least PRETENDED she was trying to hide it?

    • ErinE
      +2

      If she had looked flustered and/or tried to hold it down, I’d give her credit for that…but nope, she just smiled away which makes me feel like she’s just desperate for attention.

      • Heather
        0

        Totally. I was just making sure people knew she wasn’t holding the skirt up herself.

  32. Sweetsinger
    +1

    So awful I had to vote against the more offensive candidate because I really can’t face her again in this contest…

  33. jen310
    +5

    Holy lady parts, WTF was A. Bailon thinking? I never ever want to see vagine on the red carpet. EVER. I don’t want to see nipples either but nipple exposure is not the worst crime. I should not know if a lady’s downstairs is carpeted or not. I respect vaginas, I have one myself, but HELL NAW to seeing that on the red carpet. Bailon is a sartorial skank. Melody, at least, tries (but still fails) to bring some semblance of class. Bailon FTW.

  34. Damian
    +10

    I went into this thinking Bailon, but ended up voting Thornton. The terrible hair, that brassy streak, the odd tan (she’s naturally fairer skinned), and the brazen nipples.

    Bailon is a worthy competitor but I need her to get knocked out to preserve Rita Ora’s place in my bracket!

  35. Carol
    +8

    I am so happy to be back in the delicious agony of Fug Madness … which to choose? Whose fug reigns supreme? Oh, the humanity!

  36. Cass
    +2

    I had to pick Thornton; at least Bailon has that dress in slide 5 which is totally Kardashian but isn’t awful or gynecological in itself. With Thornton, I kept wondering what the hell she was thinking!

    Though, all that said, I mostly wanted to comment to ask if anyone else got a refried Dita von Teese vibe off slide 7 or if I have already gone fug-crazy.

    • Helen
      +1

      It isn’t you, I totally see the von Teese-ness.

      Except she would look good in that.

  37. Stefanie
    +1

    Oh shit! The Cheeta Girls pussy cat dress was this year?!? That thing is burned so far into my brain I would have bet money it was from 2 years ago!

  38. Elizabeth
    +7

    Although Melody Thornton was perhaps more reliably fug, I HAD to vote for Adrienne Bailon on the strength of that first outfit. I’ve been waiting to vote for it in Fug Madness since we first saw it.

    Also, if Adrienne wins this round, the next round will feature a Battle of the Kardashian Exes, and I’ll always vote for a good theme.

    • Stefanie
      +3

      You took the words right out of my fingers. Based the on the first slide alone, I gave it to her.

  39. Sajorina
    +2

    Had to go for Adrienne Bailon… HAD TO! She’s this year’s Erin Wasson! But, DAMN, Melody Thornton one is a serious fugger!

  40. Jo
    +3

    Heather, are you trying to say she didn’t *realise* that piece of tablecloth was completely loose and flying around exposing The Secret to the world?

    She wore it on purpose. That’s flashing on purpose. Full stop.

  41. ErinE
    +10

    Close call, but had to go with Adrienne. Because if she were an honorary Kardashian, she would be THE TRASHY ONE – not an easy feat.

  42. lilywise
    0

    Wow, I was not prepared for voting in the play-in to be this hard! Either of these Fuginistas has the potential to go far.

  43. gryt
    +1

    Breast I can deal with. But I DO NOT want to see someone’s friggin vag!! What the hayle is wrong with this woman?

  44. kdenae
    +6

    This is honestly what makes March all worth it. Thank you, Fug Madness, for this insanity.

  45. Karen G
    +3

    That was so difficult. I really wanted to go with the fauxdashian, but I had to vote against the nipples.

  46. Kris
    0

    I ended up voting Bailon – the tiebreaker was Aggravated Cruelty to Breasts in that GMA outfit. Bailon, bail out!

  47. liz
    +3

    If this is only the play-in game, then I cannot wait for the glory/terror of the rest of the tournament. I’m so excited.

  48. Meri
    +4

    They’re both AWFUL, but that first “dress” is awful-est. “See my breasts, see my breasts” is one thing- at least the dress has actual construction. A giagantic dust ruffle attached to the front of a belt is not a skirt.

  49. Miriam
    +4

    This. Broke my brain. Already.

  50. deee
    +1

    Bailon looks so darn smug in her pictures. Thornton at least looks a little ashamed of herself with her wan smile and slightly out of focus eyes Vote for Bailon.

  51. MG
    +9

    I’m just amazed that even the play-in game has such worthy, worthy competitors. This is one of the hardest match-ups I’ve seen. I seriously think both of these women could make it to the Elite 8.

    Adrienne, with the crotch shot, I mean, fer Chrissakes, that should be an automatic lock-in win, right? and I bet she wins. But she at least owns her tackiness in some strange way. I voted for Melody as the Fugliest–in every look, she is wearing hideous attire, looks wretchedly uncomfortable, and her hair and makeup are a total disaster.

  52. Lily1214
    +1

    None reign supreme.

  53. Darren
    +1

    You often see nipples a lot of high fashion magazines so at the very least there is some…precedence however ill-advised it may be?

    However, I cannot BELIEVE that anyone would purposely leave the house with their vag in full view let alone a red carpet where they know they’ll be photographed. Do porn stars even do that at their awards show? Disgusting.

  54. annabelle
    +2

    How difficult was that?!?!? Gah.

    I finally had to go with Melody, because she is older, she should know better.

  55. Vandalfan
    +2

    The Bride of Frankenstein hair and Headlights What dress are horrid clothing, which is the the basic fundamental of fug. It’s difficult to think that one semi-accidental jay-jay can triumph example after example of true bad taste in clothing, but that tutu glued in front of pantyhose skirt defies the entire purpose of garbing one’s body, and a gal can go far relying on that part of her anatomy.

    • Chris P
      +4

      It’s not just the one vag.

      It was the almost-nip from a couple of months ago (which I suspect the Fug Girls are saving for the first round). It was the fact that she felt the need to hoist her breasts up with CHAINS (we get it, honey, you’re well-endowed). It’s EVERYTHING.

      In other words, she makes Kim Kardashian look like Kate Middleton. And that’s an unforgivable sin.

      • Guerra
        0

        I actually really like that outfit (the chains, not the vag flash one!!) the other girls outfits are consistently ugly!!!!!

  56. sam
    +6

    i realize now that i shouldn’t have voted for bailon because if she wins she will wreak havoc on my bracket. but i was blinded by vagina-napkin-rage.

  57. ChrisH
    +4

    Bailon. Not because of the crotch-napkin, although it truly is fuggery in motion. And not because of the accidental nether-view, which for the record there is NO SUCH THING as an “accidental” nether-view–really, the friggin’ FRENCH don’t even let that happen.

    No, I voted Bailon because someone thought that on top of this horrific, non-brazilianated, thrown-to-the-breezes-of-fate (fa-breeze?) mess, the “cover up” this outfit needed most was a cropped leather jacket.

  58. Hellcat13
    +11

    I feel I need to share the joy of the google chat I just had with my best friend:

    Erica: THE WRONG PLAY-IN PERSON IS WINNING!! #fugmadness
    me: SHE FLASHED HER VAG!!!
    Erica: But it was covered at one point! The other lady’s clothes are ALL horrid and nakedifying. THERE’S NOT EVEN A NAPKIN.
    me: HER VAG. SHE FLASHED HER VAG. Even Gwyneth Paltrow has shown her boobs.
    Erica: UGH

    • Erica
      +7

      For the record, wasn’t it nice of me to call her a lady?

      • Sajorina
        +7

        Awww, you two… I don’t know anyone who visits this website so I could discuss the fabbings & fuggings with them! You’re so lucky!

  59. agcons
    +3

    I tried to play each pair of slides off and came up with a draw. I tried to mix the slides, in pairs, and still came up with a draw. After about five minutes I decided to take each contestant’s worst then decide.

    Crotch Hankie won over Titty Dress, but only by an invisible hair.

  60. Bambi Anne Dear
    +2

    That was tough but for me, a pair of actually visible nipples won out.

  61. Brooke M
    +4

    Vagina car wash! Vagina. Car. Wash. You ladies are truly national treasures and the joy of my life. Thank you.
    I’m desperately trying to think of a way to incorporate the phrase “vagina car wash” (VCW) into my daily life, because it needs to be a thing.
    OK, that being said, this is a SUPER hard play in. It’s good though, because it’s getting me into the right mindset for making all of the rest of the difficult fug madness decisions in the weeks ahead.
    VCW!

  62. Esme
    +1

    Because of the naked frontal area, my finger definitely hovered over the Bailon button, but overall Thornton takes the prize for some of the fugliest clothes I’ve ever seen.

  63. Anne B
    +4

    SO EARLY with the can’t-unsee moments this year!

  64. Callie
    0

    Eventually I went for Adrienne because I think if Melody’s dress had a lined top it would be, well, a dress, whereas even underwear wouldnt’ save Adrienne (it was surely DESIGNED in the belief underwear would be worn?)

    Tough first vote, gang. Man I love Fug Madness.

  65. Bailey
    +3

    Man, your clothing choices are pretty bad when my reaction to the outfit after yours ‘oh, thank god, it’s just visible tits.’ I’m not much of a prude but, come on, Adrienne, your VAG?

  66. Josie
    +3

    I’m voting Adrienne over Melody. Vagina beats nipples. Also, I remember Melody appeared on Fashion Police to mock the naked dress, so at least she has a sense of humor about it.

  67. esther p.
    +5

    i think i’ll just go ahead and install one of those chemical eye-wash/rinse sinks right next to my desk for the duration of Fug Madness.

  68. Cat
    0

    I had to go with Melody, just because I’d rather have visible nipples over a mesh dress with strategically placed tablecloth as a vag-cover. Ugh. Melody also seems to have some style, even if it is terrible, rather than just showing her T&A all the time.

  69. Jo
    0

    the first one is just another wannabe showing off skin to get noticed. The second one seems to think shes actually wearing passable acceptable outfits. In my opinion that makes her worse.

  70. Amanda S
    0

    Can someone pleeeasseee tell these two girls that they do NOT have go around flashing their bits to get attention??!! The only apt word I can think of is disgusting. What happened to leaving some things to the imagination? (btw I’m someone who loves to wear short shorts/skirts etc. but at least I know where to draw the line).

  71. Eurydice
    +1

    Adrienne has the sticky icky that adheres when consorting with Kardashians. But Melody is kind of retro-tragic, like Classic Trek without the irony – she gets my vote.

  72. Lori
    0

    Without the first slide, it’s Thorton all the way for me. However, Bailon’s first was SO bad…. not that Thorton’s first was great… I’m so confused! I read the comments for help and I’m still unable to decide. So much fug!

  73. Reporter Laydee
    0

    This was harder than advanced calculus! I went with Melody, cause her stuff was just overwhelmingly fug. Some, only some, of Adrienne’s items might have been saved by wearing the correct size, and better styling. I couldn’t say that about one single thing Melody wore.

  74. MissV
    0

    The poll results appear to be messed up, in both Chrome and Firefox. I voted yesterday, but wanted to see the updated result. It just says [poll id="9961"].

    • Vandalfan
      0

      Me, too, and still with the Firefox warning of attack site. Who’s winning? I mean, “winning”?