Fug Madness 2012: Results, Elite Eight Preview, Updated Bracket

Some towering contenders went out this time, but the matchups that remain are INTENSE. Like, the Bjork Bracket standoff here… major. And Cher. WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN CHER. By which I mean, her bracket. LOOK:




Man, Kaftandashian continues her reign of terror, knocking off impressive fug mainstay Chloe Sevigny in the Sweet Sixteen. She racked up an impressive 62 percent of the vote, and is creating an Elite Eight matchup so good it’s worthy of the finals. And Vanessa Hudgens and her pants of shame are still putting up their dukes, K.O.’ing Rooney Mara with a huge 85 percent ovation, and putting her against this year’s Cinderella in a yikes-off.


who will Ashanti get?

We have got some GOOD ones coming


(4) ASHANTI vs. (6) LINDSAY LOHAN – Tuesday

Sayonara, Lady Gaga. Her elaborately constructed fuggery lost to Lohan’s tragically constructed fuggery, as Lindsay got 66 percent of the vote. Ashanti took out Alexa Chung with 68 percent, which somehow feels like an upset even though she was seeded higher. Then again: vagina sling. It’s interesting that Ashanti is moving on from a matchup with a girl who would NEVER wear her clothes, to a game against a girl who well might someday.




(4) FERGIE vs. (11) ROBYN – Monday

Mrs. Cruise ran up against the brick wall known as Mrs. Duhamel, and only garnered 35 percent of the vote. So she goes home to Suri, and Fergie gets Robyn, about whom I tragically failed to make a cringeworthy Swede Sixteen joke. Still, in the Battle of the Robyns, the one who’s been blonde longer won. As in, not Rihanna. In fact, Ro.Co beat RiRi with 63 percent of the vote, so take THAT, giant long red braids and tacky bodysuits. Platform Timberlands are here to PLAY.


(1) NICKI  MINAJ vs (14) KE$HA – Tuesday

Ke$ha and Jessie J were the best matchup of the last round, but in the end, people decided Jessie J’s smiling face should not beat out Ke$ha’s more sullen demeanor. So with 54 percent of the vote, Ke$ha advances. Nicki Minaj, for her part, bounced Sarah Jessica Parker with 70 percent of the vote. Adieu, Ms. Bradshaw.

And the updated Elite Eight bracket:

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Comments (29):

  1. The Reset

    I might have to take a xanax with my diet coke before voting for the Cher bracket. THAT IS INTENSE.

    • Amanda

      I’d put money on Nicki Minaj taking top fug this year. She’s trying the hardest.

      • Sweetsinger

        Nicki also is having the most fun. Isn’t that why we’re all here?

  2. lisa

    I’m sad that Chloe Sevigny didn’t advance because her kind of fug (being lauded as a fashion trailblazer while actually looking like a blind toddler dressed you) is my favorite. In that vein, I really want to see Robyn in the final round. …But against whom???

  3. Willow

    I am terrified that Minaj is going to win this thing!

    The Hudge FTW!

    • Laura E.

      I am voting for Hudge all the way. Though Kourtney K is a very formidable opponent. I truly had no idea before Fug Madness began how horrible her wardrobe is.

      • Willow

        I know! She was always just a bit of a background fugger, but then you put it all in one slideshow AND HELLO CAFTAN CITY!

    • The Fugger

      I’m terrified that Peldashian is going to win this whole thing.

      Although, Kourtney vs. Khlöe Chlöe was kind of poetic. A woman who kan’t stop adding kompulsive k’s to every word that starts with a hard c sound vs. a wömän whö wäs öftën dërïdëd för äddïng än ümläüt tö hër nämë bäck ïn thë däÿ. It was almost a battle of who’s more annoying to mock through type.

      …I vote Kourtney. Although diacritics are harder, they’re also more fün.

      (Also, yes, I know, umlauts and diacritics aren’t exactly the same thing.)

  4. Kait

    In my mind it MUST come down to vanessa hudgens vs. either ashanti or robyn. i think kourtney is out of her league, nicki minaj is the kind of kooky fun-loving fug that doesn’t offend me, and lindsay lohan is too sad and beaten for me to vote for. similar to mischa barton in past brackets (poor girl).

    • me

      My thoughts Exactly! Leaning towards The Hudge vs. Ashanti. However, Kourtney might surprise us yet…!

      • Art Eclectic

        I’m sticking with Kourtney. Ya’ll might hate the way The Hudge dresses, but she at least looks amiable. Kourtney makes poor choices and has that surly, privileged demeanor.

        Who would you rather go out for a margarita with?

    • Jennifer E.

      i’m hoping it’s not minaj, too. she’s just too OBVIOUS, y’know? Gaga didn’t gag us as much this year, and it’s her JOB; minaj kinda interprets her own mission the same way. i’d rather see the Fugtacular of the Year award go to someone who WASN’T TRYING.

  5. vandalfan

    When we did our Cub Scouts’ Pinewood Derby, we had lots of extra awards like Most Stickers, Fastest Looking, etc.(somehow, just about every boy won something, funny how that worked out…)

    I think we should have some honorary awards, like Ms. Congeniality. Maybe Fuggiest Red Carpet Look, Worst Deployment of Lace, Oddest Accessories, Most Likely to Need Penicillin, Most Fun To Be Stuck In An Elevator With, like that.

    • Stargirl

      Oh yes, we here are the proud winners of many a “Most Rustic” ribbon, and there are so many contenders for just such a prize in this year’s bracket…

      • neiges

        I had suggested something like that a while ago, yay! I confess that Fug Madness starts to loose a bit of interest for me towards the end. I am not very entertained by entertainer fugness (Minaj, Fergie, Kesha, Robyn, Ashanti…) and the K Klan (oh yes I did) or Hudgens don’t do it for me. I am more of a Hendricks kind of fug.
        So… I would love there to be special prizes oh yes I would.

  6. Bam Bam

    I love love love love Robyn! I am hoping she will win the whole thing with her fuggery. She makes some of the catchiest, most awesome dance pop in existence today. The only thing that could make a Robyn song better is if SWINTON starred in one of her videos.

  7. Sarah

    Robyn is the new Chloe

  8. Molly

    I went looking; this is the same Robyn from the mid nineties. Her fug has only mellowed with age!

  9. Willow

    I just realised something, how did JLoHew not make it into Fug Madness? How did we forget about her? I just went through her archive, tragedy after tragedy after tragedy: all perfectly legitimate for entry.

  10. Kimberli

    The Bjork bracket is the one that’s going to kill me. Good lord! Those two I saw advancing to the very end.

  11. Art Eclectic

    My office bets are on Kourtney, Keisha, Ashanti and Robyn advancing. Fergie v Robyn, hat’s a hard one to call, but I think the shoes provide that little extra something that powers Robyn over the top.

  12. TonyG

    Vanessa, Ashanti, Robyn and Nicki are my final four. Bummer that we did not get a Nicki Minaj vs. Jessie J. matchup in the Madonna bracket.

  13. Maggie Roberts

    My thoughts Exactly! Leaning towards The Hudge vs. Ashanti. However, Kourtney might surprise us yet…!

  14. Spacelamb

    All of the above are valid choices, but for me Ashanti FTW, simply because she is the only one who uses her vagina as a fashion accessory.

  15. ML

    Well, I’m technically busted now that it’s RiRi fall down go boom for the win overall but I’m excited to see who actually WILL win this sucker.

    Va-jay-jay sling… that’s gonna be hard to overlook. I mean, for reals. How on God’s green earth do you out-fug that? HOW?

  16. TaraMisu

    My brackets were shot to hell early in the tourney…. I’m now going for KK as overall Fugness 2012.

  17. Christian

    I like how during last year’s Fug Madness there was this long drawn out argument over whether or not Lady Gaga should win over Mischa Burton, and in the end Mischa only won by a tiny margin. Yet during this round Gaga got stomped by Lohan with nary a complaint.

  18. Sweetsinger

    Nicki Minaj FTW!