Elton John Oscar Party Fug and Fab Carpet: Anne V and Lydia Hearst

I’m looking forward to The Face coming back, although Coco Rocha and Karolina Kurkova were really good in it and I’m sad they won’t get another crack at Naomi Campbell. Hopefully Anne V and Lydia Hearst, despite not having quite the sparking credentials of the other two, can still deliver some verbal parries and thrusts.

Clothes-wise, it’s a bit more varied. Anne basically took a knee to end the half, in football parlance:

I can’t find a designer credit for it, and that’s probably for the best, because I don’t know if any designer would want to take credit. There is nothing here to latch onto, at all. It looks cheap, I can see where her navel is, there are no accessories making this anything worth looking at… it’s like milk in dress form. And not even dairy milk; soy milk, which is more watery. The good news for her is that it keeps forcing me to look at her face, which is very pretty, but since that thought is immadiately followed by, “Why did she DO THIS to herself,” it’s not really a very warming piece of good news.

Lydia Hearst was considerably more successful.

THAT is awesome. I want that to be my coat of arms.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (25):

  1. Bambi Anne Dear

    Considerably more successful? I’m so glad you’re being dry. That dress is amazing.

  2. Art Eclectic

    The problem when designers build cups into the bodice of dresses is that only one size breast fits and if you don’t happen to be that size, you’re either falling out or top looks loose and droopy. You’d think that professionals would plan a bodice for at least some variety of asset sizes….

    • BrownEyedBetty

      That dress is doing very sad and unfortunate things to Anne V’s girls. I’m pretty sure she’s got a killer bod under there but sheesh, you wouldn’t know it.

      • stacey

        Those boob cups don’t even look the same size as each other, let along her breasts. WTF?
        There have been some major mammary sins on here today.

  3. Bambi Anne Dear

    As for Ann V’s, I hate those little boob cups. They squash the top and middle of the boob making her look like she has next to nothing there.

  4. Maria L.

    Lydia looks fabulous. What a cool dress.

  5. Alicia

    Do you remember around New Year’s when no one was going out and there was nothing to talk about? I really hope you stockpiled the sleep. You’ve been doing a heroic job, Ladies!

  6. Sandra

    See, designers?! Lining is your (and our) friend. The black-under-gold in Lydia’s dress is a stunning effect.

  7.  Ashley

    What is going on with Anne V’s hands? There’s something going around the middle of the hand and then latching onto a ring? I can’t even BEGIN to imagine what you call such a contraption, let alone how annoying it would be to wear them. Her head looks lovely though. And Lydia looks absolutely smashing — one of my favorite Oscar looks so far.

  8. scone

    Lydia Hearst wins the Nina Dobrev award for best Oscars afterparty dress.

  9.  HelenBackAgain

    Lydia is wearing That Dress. You know the one. It’s the heartbreaker; it’s the one every girl at the party wants to be with, but only one of them can. That dress.

    And it is breathtaking, and I do want it, I do… I will change the sheets for this dress! I will put on cologne and sit by the phone for this dress… I know it’s only going to make me cry into my pillow, but I will!

  10. Juliana

    I’m not able to verify but I believe that Anne V.’s dress is Ferragamo.

    • Edith

      Really? I was going to opine that Anne V is in Second Skin Satin for Victoria’s Secret…

  11. Gracie

    I guess the one positive of Anne’s dress is that it’s satiny but miraculously not wrinkled? She should’ve worn some pretty bright jewels!

    The Hearst dress is very cool.

  12. Susan 

    Poor Ann V. That dress is doing an awful injustice to her small boobs. I wouldn’t wear that rag if I had a gun held to my head. She is very pretty though and I am sure in other clothing her boobs look great.

  13.  Sharon

    Lydia, I bow to you. WOW!

  14. Katharine

    I wish Angelina Jolie had worn something like Lydia’s dress to the Oscars: she’s a spectacular beauty always, but that gown was just meh….

  15.  LOU

    For some reason, I’d like to see the design on Lydia Hearst’s dress on the back of the dress.

  16. jewel241

    I believe the dress started at the floor and just died when it got around her upper thighs. Not a good color choice in the nude\champanes for her skin. Maybe she just gave up after trying on so many other options and couldn’t go on.

  17. witjunkie

    Someone needs to put Anne V under all the sheer dresses we’ve been subjected to the last six months.

  18. Claire1

    Lydia Hearst’s dress has become my all time favorite! Oh..it is an “I want it so bad it hurts” dress!
    She looks smashing in it…and I think it’s making her as happy as it is me.

  19. jen

    WHY has no one commented on how HUGE Lydia Heart’s head looks here???