Fugger: Tilda Swinton

AMPAS Governors Awards Well SWINTON’d: SWINTON


We talk a bit about fabrics that would also make stellar wallpaper and bed coverings; this one, I wouldn’t mind seeing wrapped around a cardboard tube and on sale in Hallmark.

tilda swinton

It almost looks like someone did buy a supersize roll and wind it once around her body, then around each arm with a quick, imprecise trim for length. And for that reason it works for me, because she’s SWINTON, and she is a gift.

We also need to examine the majesty of whatever is happening on her skull.

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Well SWINTONed: SWINTON in Schiaparelli Couture


SWINTON, you festive bag of sass, you.

Tilda SWINTON

No, really, you look like a delightful holiday wine sack. If only Santa would pop you down my chimney with a nice tawny port and some reds and whites tucked up in there. We could have a grand old time watching Golden Girls reruns together and discussing whether St. Olaf is the greatest gift ever given to television audiences. Just the other day on Twitter I was laughing over the herring circus scene, and how Bea Arthur nearly loses it and then actually DOES lose it but manages to make it in service of the scene, and I may have shed a little mirthy tear… SWINTON and I would have such a fine old time with that. She’s a gas, I think, and the effervescent dotted froth of this frock is actually her spirit animal. Yes. Let’s go with that.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs: Celebs at the Chanel Cruise Show


Oh, Kristen Stewart. How did you get out of having to go to this?

[Photos: Getty]

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Recent Fugs and Fabs: SWINTON


I hope it doesn’t surprise you to find out that SWINTON owns a variety of fabulously warm and chic-ly shapeless coats. I imagine her home planet is as icy and majestic as her beauty.

[Photo: Fame-Flynet, INF, Getty]

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Fug and Fab: SWINTON


This is the most epic scrolldown fug, and it’s so wretched that I am going to start at the bottom and work up:

WHAT. These are shoes that are answering a question no one asked, namely, “what would happen if your shower shoes had a baby with a crow?”

The thing is, the rest of the look pretty great, you can look away from the fact that she stepped in a bird and stayed there:

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SWINTONly SWINTON’d: Guess Who?


We have a SWINTON sighting, at the Chanel couture show.

And she looks like she is wearing a San Antonio airport gift shop. She is remembering the hell out of the Alamo, and the Alamo is all, “Thank you, SWINTON, you minx, for making me feel like a baller.”

[Photo: Getty]

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