Fugger: Tilda Swinton

What the Fug: SWINTON

Welcome back, SWINTON, you deeply engaging beacon of confusion.


I don’t even understand what this garment fundamentally IS, much less how it works. Is it a coat pinned to a chair cover? A child’s First Communion vestment gathered up and belted to her for luck? Is she going to her own City Hall wedding, which she will run out on because she’s actually already married but she’s just into the idea of the drama? Never tell me, SWINTON. I just want to close my eyes and imagine.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]



Well, of course. This makes perfect sense.


She’s mourning David Bowie by channeling Flock of Seagulls. Why didn’t I think of it first?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Well Played, Swinton

How do the kids put it these days?

"A Bigger Splash" - BAFTA Screening and Q&A

Oh, right: #GOALS.

Also, possibly, #OurVampireLeader, but that’s fine too. Anything to get the deets on that lipstick.

[Photo: Getty]


Swintonly-Played, Swinton

In case you are wondering what SWINTON wore last night:

AnOther Magazine x Dior Present The VIP Premiere Of "A Bigger Splash"

The answer is: a blazer of tinsel, iridescent disco shoes, black sequined pants, a pirate’s shirt, and the royal order of her home planet of Swintonia. Basically what you’d imagined, right? Right.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Venice Film Festival: Fugs and Fines About Town

This is mostly people looking jaunty — or attempting to — as they prepare to get on and off of boats. Althouhg there is a treat at the end.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


Fug or Fine: Tilda Swinton in Haider Ackermann

This just seems too banal for Our Lady of the Sartorial Thunder.

Tilda Swinton venice film festival

I mean, I see where it’s going, but I would NEVER have taken that route. It’s as if Google Maps is telling me another way that would shave half an hour off my time, but she INSISTS on avoiding all the freeways and won’t do anything that requires her to use a left-turn lane and so she’ll get there how she gets there.

Luckily for her…

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Fugs and Fabs: The Rest of the Trainwreck Premiere

In which Marisa Tomei plays the role of SWINTON, SWINTON plays the role of a more lowercase swinton, and Andy Cohen plays the role of Justin Timberlake.

[Photos: Getty]