Fugger: Robert Pattinson

Fugs, Fabs, and Fines of Coachella, Weekend One


Dear Coachella,

Thank you for bringing the crazy. Never leave us.

Love,

People Who Love The Crazy

[Photos: Getty, WENN, Pacific Coast News, Splash, and Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs: Dudes at the Breaking Dawn, Part 2 Premiere


Let’s discuss a few things: 1) Not EVERY series finale novel needs to be split in half for the movie, because 2) not every series finale novel is as substantial as Deathly Hallows was, and thus 3) it’s so unlikely this movie will be any good, because did you READ the last half of that book? Much less the FIRST HALF? OY, and 4) I have the same issues with rumors that Mockingjay — a.k.a. the third Hunger Games book — will also be split in half. The last third of that one feels like she wrote it in three days under tight deadline. (And possibly under the influence of Theraflu.) Can we please stop this trend?

Okay. Thank you. I needed to get that off my chest. Now let’s relax with some men in suits.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugloween 2012


Here are two things I’ve learned from doing postings this Halloween: 1) I am pretty sure Chris Brown’s costume is going to make your head explode, and b) I’d best not even try to ID most of these costume for fear of angering Fug Nation when I get it wrong. Some folks are REALLY disgusted that I happen not to have seen Moonlight Kingdom. It’s like I personally knifed them, just because I can’t watch or get to the movies as much as I’d like. Please forgive, Fug Nation. I hate it when we fight. At LEAST wait until I can acquire and don some leggings as pants, so that your disappointment can be complete.

[Photos: WENN, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Bauer-Griffin, INF]

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Breaking Fug: Part Two: Whatever The Hell They’re Calling This One


“Aw, man, you guys. Do I really STILL have to promote this series? Do I? Are you sure? Do I seriously? Don’t you think people will come out and see it no matter what? Don’t you? I do. Can I talk about something else while I’m here? NOT KRISTEN. Something else. What about Harry Potter? Do you guys want to talk about Harry Potter? Let’s talk about the Triwizard Tournament! It was really fun until that thing happened to me that was really bad. See, I care about not spoiling you on an old book! Let’s talk about spoilers! Let’s talk about tacos! Let’s talk about small kiln pottery. Something. SOMETHING ELSE. I’M SO TIRED OF TWILIGHT YOU GUYS. Also, why is my shirt made of wrapping paper?”

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Fug the Poster: Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 2


In which we learn it’s impossible to take a picture of three people running toward camera without them looking super weird and awkward. But not as super weird and awkward as a poster of Kristen Stewart and R Pattz canoodling given the uncertainty of their Epic Love, so CONGRATULATIONS, Lionsgate and Summit! PS: I have NO IDEA who that dude is behind R Pattz, and I’ve seen all the movies. He looks vaguely like Colin Farrell, so I’ve decided that some time last summer, Colin Farrell and Michael Sheen got wicked drunk together and Sheen convinced Farrell to take a minor yet pivotal role in the final Twilight movie, and his part as  — from what I can tell from his costume — a feral Seattle DJ really just took on a life of its own. I mean, listen: they have about twenty minutes of book-action left to cover in this movie, so you know they had to make up about 75% of the plot. Why NOT Colin Farrell as DJ Chaz MountainMan, a wily human who totally seduces Edward with his smooth mash-ups of olde timey 1930s love songs and the latest house music?

Or, you know, maybe it’s Jackson Rathbone and his wig is just REALLY EXTRA TERRIBLE in this one. Either works for me.

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Fugopolis


“Sorry, you guys.”

I know I was doing so well, but now I think I might be backsliding. I’ve been wearing this shirt for three days. I can’t manage to eat anything other than ice cream.  My fly’s undone, and I had to wear this hat because I forgot how to shower and I’m too distraught to figure out how to take it off my head. Because I’m too busy obsessing over how AWKWARD the Twilight press junket is going to be. Lautner bet me five dollars that K Stew won’t even show up but could I be that lucky and also that might make me sad at the same time and I’ll give YOU five dollars if you can tell me where I put down my water bottle to take this picture and also that’s not water BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO.”

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