Fugger: Pippa Middleton

Royals Round-Up, April 18, 2014


OBVIOUSLY, we’ve been covering the heck out of Wills and Kate’s Tour of Australia and New Zealand.  Stayed tuned, because we’ll have updates over the weekend, at all hours of the night, just to keep us all on our toes. ICYMI:

In other non-Wills, Kate, and George news: Other than The Queen, the rest of the British royals were kind of inside this week. I can only imagine they’re all watching East Enders and being like, “meh, no one even cares about us right now. It’s so relaxing. Pass me that giant wheel of Stilton. I want to stick my head in it.” I do suspect that we’ll get way more snaps for next week, when people pop out to church on Easter Sunday. As it is, you shall have to enjoy the Queen! Angela Lansbury (queen of my heart)! Cressida buying a smoothie! Pippa carrying, honestly, a really good bag! Princess Charlene on the cover of Hola in a shot that is going to give more evidence to those who suspect she is gestating, as we all ruthlessly speculated a couple of weeks ago!

Elsewhere:

– Marie Claire Australia has interactive Kate paper dolls! (Marie Claire)

Jenny Packham talks about what it’s like to work with Kate. (Grazia)

– More deets about their winery visit! (Grapefriend)

People Great Ideas has all kinds of good info (and recipes) about what Wills and Kate drank and ate at their winery visit last week. I love them for always indulging my need to know the menus for everything. (People)

– Also in People, they’ve got some great behind-the-scenes coverage of this current royal tour. People really does royals coverage right. (People)

–Here’s the resort where William and Kate stayed for their one night away from the baby in New Zealand. OH MY GOD IT’S HIDEOUS. By which I mean the opposite of that. We’re having the Fug Nation Retreat THERE. (Hello!)

“Sources” that recently said Harry and Cressida were going to make it official are now saying that Cressida isn’t Royals Material. My personal theory is that the They’re Getting Married!!! Source was always someone on Team Cressida (perhaps her mother) and the Um, I Don’t Think So! Source is The Palace. (E! Online)

More info about that Charlene cover, including deets on the tiara she’s sporting. (Hello!)

– The Danish royal family celebrated Queen Margrethe’s birthday this week in an event of which I could get no photos for us, so enjoy the work of Hello! magazine. (Hello!)

[Photos: Getty, Splash, Fame/Flynet, Fame/FlynetUK]

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Fabs and Fines: The Sir David Frost Memorial


David Frost, whom we Americans may know best as the Frost in Frost/Nixon, but who had a truly formidable and fascinating career, died in August, and there was a memorial service for him at Westminster Abbey yesterday, which drew — as the Telegraph said in the article to which I just linked — an eclectic crowd indeed: Sienna Miller! Pippa Middleton? Simon Le Bon! Fergie (the Duchness, not the Pea)? Many of them looked pretty great, I have to confess. Thank God no one showed up for a memorial service wearing, like, a bra top.

[Photos: Getty]

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Pippa Middlefug


You know, I feel for Pippa. It must be INCREDIBLY weird to have become famous first because of who your sister was dating; then because of who your sister was engaged to; then because of what your bum looked like at the wedding; and then suddenly have the tables turn. Obviously she is responsible for her own mistakes — no one forced her to write that party-planning book, nor hang out with that douchelord in France who made the gun gesture at a paparazzo — but the entire thing must be bizarre. It probably feels like, “We loved your butt, but WE HATE YOUR BRAIN,” which would be upsetting even to the calmest of people. Having said all that… this is not a wise choice, and her brain may need to take a nap.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug and Fab Some Royal And Royal-Adjacent Hats


Kate Middleton really needs to be taking the bump out more. That child NEEDS photos of the hats it wore in utero.

[Photos: Getty, WENN]

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Pippa Fuggleton


I find is somewhat hilarious that Pippa’s been TOTALLY AWOL until…the day after the Olympics. I like to think that at some point in mid-June, Princess Anne and Camilla burst into Pippa’s apartment (wearing rubber masks in the likeness of the Queen) and shoved her into a laundry bag, which they then dragged to Camilla’s royal apartments,  where they proceeded to lock Pips in the coat closet until the end of the Closing Ceremony. “You are NOT going to ruin the Olympics for us with any kind of stupid shenanigans,” they said in unison as they locked the closet and positioned a flesh-hungry Doberman outside its door.

But eventually they had to let her out:

I kind of feel like she pulled this outfit together with random stuff she found in the back of said closet, though. Girlfriend, you could have gone home first.

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Fabs and Fehs of Wimbledon’s Spectators/Gala


LOADS of people came out to watch Federer v. Murray this weekend, and who could blame them? What a match! Not to mention that Murray was classy and charming and such a tremendous good sport in defeat. I might have cried a little bit during his speech, and I absolutely wanted to hug him. (I still love you, too, Roger; you are ALSO charming and classy and sportsmanlike, and also your hair is looking fantastic and your little girls are adorable.) Let’s look at all the half-assed shots we managed to get of what everyone was wearing, and take a (fully-assed) peek at the winners. Can’t wait to head back to Wimbledon in a couple of weeks for the Olympics. Until then….

[Photos: Getty]

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