Weddings are fun! Today, Lady Gabriella Windsor — her parents are Prince Michael of Kent, and that old bag Princess Michael — got married at St. George’s at Windsor to a man named Thomas Kingston, who is a “financier.” (Those seem like sarcastic scare quotes but I believe he really does work in finance.) And the guest list is fascinating to me; Harry came, but Meghan did not (which makes sense, she just had a baby and also I cannot imagine she loves Princess Michael). ALL the Middletons came except for Kate. William is attending the FA Cup Final, so he has an excuse. Maybe Kate has a head cold. Maybe Kate and Meghan are at Frogmore watching Eurovision with Chaz and Camz, who also didn’t show up. I like this theory, let’s go with this one. Prince Edward attended, but no Sophie. Fergie and Andrew showed up, as did Beatrice and her beaux, but no Eugenie (although Eugenie enthusiastically posted about the wedding on Instagram; my low-key theory based on literally nothing is that Euj is pregnant and home barfing; again, I cannot stress enough that I just made this up). The Queen and Prince Philip toddled down from the castle. We got a TON of Random Windsors, as you would imagine, which is always fun, and MANY of the people at this event choose very intriguing outfits. Let’s discuss!