Fugger: Melody Thornton

Fuglycat Dolls


You KNOW I was really unimpressed with these jeans, considering that I just spent twenty minutes staring at this picture before I noticed her nipples:

In other news: MELODY, STOP SHOWING US YOUR NIPPLES.

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Fuglycat Dolls


Oh my god, you guys. This outfit.  This outfit of Melody Thornton’s. It’s so…It’s all…it’s…..

Listen, I can’t even show it to you face-forward until after the jump because of the Not Safe For Workitude of the whole thing. BEHOLD:

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VMAs Party Hilarious Carpet: Melody Thornton


Can we talk about what’s on Melody Thornton’s head?

Yes. It is a headband on steroids. It’s what would happen if Blair Waldorf and Blair Warner went into the headband designing business together. It’s like a bridal headdress for a Tudor-themed wedding on crack. I want someone to always be wearing this headgear, everywhere, at all times, just so I know that somewhere in the world, two girls are giving each other the surreptitious “what is she wearing” look over cocktails. Don’t front: You KNOW you’ve made that look to a friend of yours recently.

Let’s see what one pairs with a cracked out historically inaccurate bridal crown:

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Fugody Thornton


Remember when the Pussycat Dolls were a thing? Seems so far away, doesn’t it? And that’s as good a reason as any why Melody Thornton shouldn’t have worn this:

Because now we can’t tell if she’s just wearing really awful harem pants, or she’s actually seeking employment IN a harem. Hey, times are tough. I just wish she’d tried Hammer pants first. He’s probably a better boss — both too legit to quit AND prone to laying out quite clearly what you can and can’t touch.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

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BET Awards Fug Carpet: Melody Thornton


Dear Melody “Pussycat Doll” Thornton:

OMG.

WTF?

NO.

You have scarred me into only speaking in monosyllabic words and common acronyms. This…is not…. It needs…. There ought to be…. MORE. MORE OF SOMETHING. MORE OF EVERYTHING.

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