Fugger: Maggie Gyllenhaal

Fugs and Fabs: The Rest of the Crystal + Lucy Women In Film Awards


Tickets to this sucker were $500 a pop. I paid less than that to see the Kings win the Stanley Cup in 2012, and that was all toothless, joyful men in beards, with nary a jumpsuit in sight. WAY better value for money.

[Photos: Splash]

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Fugs and Fabs: Celebs at the Stella McCartney Garden Party


Fair to assume they’re all in Stella McCartney, right? I mean, if I were Stella, I might not WANT anyone to assume that, but then again, if she made it, she has to stick by it.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash]

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Tony Awards Fug Carpet: Maggie Gyllenhaal in Dolce & Gabbana


When she came out on the Tony stage, this just looked so silly and clunky on her.

Maggie Gyllenhaal, Tony Awards, Dolce & Gabbana

It’s better on the red carpet, but that hem is killing me with looking like it’s from a party store, and the whole enterprise has me concerned that The Lion King and War Horse have paved the way for a live-action Trumpet of the Swan. As stirred as we might all be by John Mayer hopping on the musical train with numbers like “Your Blackboard Is A Wonderland,” “Bigger Than My Swan Boat,” and “Why, Voicebox,” I might prefer to let that classic live on the page.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fuggie Gyllenhaal


This the frumpiest shiny thing I’ve ever seen.

These pieces are so unhappy together. These pieces are living a life of passive-aggressive mutual resentment. One will complain they watch too much CNN and the other will promptly throw the remote off a building. They hate each other and can’t figure out why they’ve been together all these minutes, but it’s just too much trouble to do anything about it until FINALLY they cleanly divorce on her bedroom floor and the jacket can take up with that pair of leather pants it should have married years ago. This has been Full Mental Jacket.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: Celebs at the Dior Cruise Show


This was the day after the Met Ball, so you know half of these people were HUNGOVER. Let’s see how they did anyway.

[Photos: Getty]

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Met Gala Fug Carpet: Maggie Gyllenhaal in Valentino


I DO NOT KNOW how she thought this had ANYTHING to do with Charles James. This would be PERFECT if the theme were, say, A Salute to Twister, or Shit You Can Do To Your Shower Curtain Once You Remodel The Bathroom, or The Partridge Family, or Random Outfits Maggie Gyllenhaal Bought Once Online In a Moment of Weakness. But as far as I know, it was not.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugretary: Maggie Gyllenhaal at “The Honourable Woman” Photocall


Okay. I have spent a LOT of time noting that I dislike this haircut on her but you know what? I actually really kind of like it now that it’s blonde. (Here’s what it looked like brunette.) The lighter hair opens up her face more, and I think it’s just more flattering. (It’s just a little wee longer now too.) Am I crazy? It’s better blond, right?

As a matter of fact, I like her whole head here:

Too bad the rest of this is kind of a napkin-inspired mess; I’m giving her the pass on those shoes (for once; her shoes are often bad regardless) because she’s clearly injured her foot. But man. This dress makes me sad. I think it’s SO CLOSE to being awesome and architectural and cool, but instead it just ends up wearing her. It’s too big, too floppy, just too much.¬† It’s like the Charmin factory exploded on her and she barely made it out alive.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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