Fugger: Maggie Gyllenhaal

Fug AND Fab, Maggie Gyllenhaal


When I saw this first photo, I thought, “Maggie G better be knocked up, or else there is no excuse for that shapeless thing.” And then I saw what she wore the next night, and…well, let’s just call me the Bump Whisperer.

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Stranger Than Fugtion


“Oh, this old thing? Well, I couldn’t wear the beret and the leopard minidress, right? So I just borrowed what my Great Aunt Murgatroyd wore to the funeral of her lover at the nursing home, who turned out to be slipping the Werther’s to six other ladies as well. I mean, everyone SAID Murgatroyd looked the tartiest of all of them, so… what, is this not good? Should I have worn the head scarf?”

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Met Ball Fug or Fab: Maggie Gyllenhaal


For as cracked-out as Stella McCartney herself looked, she did a nice job dressing our once-and-possibly-future Fug Nemesis Maggie Gyllenhaal here:

The color is pretty, the neckline is nice, and Maggie pulled out some soft hair minus her usual treadmill wisps. At the moment, I’m feeling it.

this too shall pass… maybe

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Unfug It Up: Maggie Gyllenhaal


I wasn’t quite sure what to do with this photo, so I decided to embrace asking you to pretty up an outfit worn to the premiere of a movie about a nanny who also gets unfugged.

[Photo: Splash News]

Let’s start at the top: Her makeup gun was set to eleven. The styling of Maggie’s bob makes it seem uneven, as if her hairdresser cut it during an earthquake. The dress is weirdly baggy in her midriff and kind of tamps down her chest a little. Also, I’m curious whether it’s supposed to go all the way across, and Maggie just tucked up the right strap to try and make it less like something an extra wore in that scene in Crocodile Dundee where he goes to the super-dated ’80′s-style party, grabs the old lady’s crotch because he thinks she’s a man and he learned that trick in a bar when a man dressed as a woman almost took him home, and then dumps the dude’s cocaine into hot water because he thinks it’s cold medicine. And finally, Maggie’s shoes are kind of fun, but they’re really daytime to me. 
Can this be tweaked and saved? And can my judgment be trusted? Because I don’t know if you noticed, but I just made a Crocodile Dundee reference. 

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Fug or Fab: Maggie Gyllenhaal/You Are Awesome, Emma Thompson


First and foremost, I like Maggie G’s short bob:

I like it so much that I sort of want it, despite knowing that I don’t have the wavy hair to pull it off, and I know I don’t like how I look with hair that length. What is it about the human condition that tempts us to do things to our hair that we KNOW we’re not going to like when we’ve done it? I suppose it must be boredom.

About the rest of her ensemble: I think I like it. I’m not wholly enamored of the shoe choice, but I GET IT and I think it supports her overall look, you know? She’s kind of that quirky bohemian type, anyway, and she looks summery and casual without being sloppy.

But there was another look spied at this event that I wholeheartedly support and indeed wish everyone else would emulate:

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Fugcretary


In many respects, I feel like I could Photoshop a septuagenarian’s head onto this and you’d be like, “Yeah, all right, looks feasible.”

[Photo: Splash News]

Except that no septuagenarian worth her blue rinse would pair a slacks suit that painfully sensible with a shawl made out of an airplane napkin. Score another point for the older generation.
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