Fugger: Kate Winslet

Well Played: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, and Kate Winslet at the Divergent Premiere

SHAILENE: This color is great on me. Do you think everyone here is recalling the interview I gave where I said I like to sunbathe my vagina?

THEO: I am extremely handsome and Lady Mary was right to risk killing me with her own, presumably less tan, vagina. Also, yes, Shailene. Yes, everyone is thinking that. I cannot stop thinking about it.

KATE: I mostly am thinking about your neighbors and hoping that, at the very least, your sundeck is private. But let’s talk about me and how great I also look.

SHAILENE: We actually all look really pretty sharp, even if the Divergent logo behind us looks weirdly like a wine bottle from this angle and it makes it seem like we’re at some weird formal dystopian wine-tasting. Let’s see the back of my dress”

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Fugs and Fabs: Everyone Else at the Divergent Premiere

He looks so dapper for a man who was brutally murdered by a lady’s vagina.

[Photos: Getty]


Fug the Cover: Kate Winslet on Vogue

I am pretty excited that I predicted this in our annual Vogue Predict The Cover:

But do I — or any of us — really get those points when the actor in question looks nigh-unrecognizable? Additionally, this poor blonde woman, whomever she may be, appears to have been living in a wind tunnel for at least five years. Should any of us truly benefit when there are such horrors at hand? As a sidebar, I find it hard to believe that no one at Vogue pointed that when the only celebrity names on your cover are Kate Winslet, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Matthew McConaughey, you are perhaps in danger of being accused of no longer having your finger on the pulse of Hollywood (no disrespect to McConaughey, who has been having an interesting couple of years in terms of the roles he takes. All disrespect to the person who decided that 2013 was a great time to make a Sex and the City reference on the cover of Vogue. Poor SJP must have seen that and just groaned). All that being said, I do hold out hope that “Power Python for the Office” is a how-to on bringing your snake to work.

[Cover: Vogue]


Well Played, Kate Winslet

You know that, when prepping for this event, Kate Winslet and her stylist surely made many a joke about how she’s attending the premiere for a movie called Labor Day when it appears she is very close to going into labor.

[Photos: Getty]


TIFF Fugs and Fabs: What We Missed

Apparently, there were 288 films at Toronto this year — one LESS than last year. So why does it feel like there were 600 MORE red-carpet screenings?

[Photos: Getty]


Fug or Fab: Titanic ladies

So, I get why cast member Frances Fisher might be excited that Titanic is back in theaters, in 3D.

But the only way this could have been more on-the-nose is if she’d shown up naked with a huge blue heart pendant on her chest.

Oh, no, wait, that’s what Kate Winslet did. … I’m kidding. But let’s see what DID happen on that front:

will she put the ‘win’ in winslet


Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Kate Winslet

Now that she’s dating a dude named Ned Rocknroll — yes, that is a real thing — and she stepped out in those skintight Stella McCartney dresses, I thought maybe Kate Winslet’s awards show couture would take on an edgier bent than in previous years. And I was curious how that would work.

Instead, no, it’s just basically boring regular stuff. From the neck up, she’s still totally in business, but the rest of this is not terribly flattering and might exist at the intersection of Dullsville Rd. and Stodgetown’s main street. I mean, this is Kate f’ing Winslet. How come she wasn’t in Evan Rachel Wood’s exotic endangered emu gown, or Diane Lane’s Reem Acra, or even Laura Dern’s sequins? It might not have worked, but on a night when she was a virtual lock to win the Globe because she’s Kate Winslet and she starred in about twelve hours of an HBO miniseries in which Guy Pearce buried his face in her nethers a lot, I think she should’ve made a splash. Leap off the high platform, don’t just slip into the pool and hope we think you dove in. Whatever the hell that means. (It means: OLYMPICS 2012 FEVER IS STARTING.)

[Photo: Getty]