Helen Mirren is one of those actresses on whom we both have a raging lady-crush, and it’s because she both owns her age and looks freaking fantastic for it. She is the Meryl Streep of England, both in terms of acting respect and overall fabulosity.
Fugger: Kate Winslet
If you were to ask me to identify the take-home lesson that validates Paris Hilton’s continued existence, my answer likely would NOT be, “Paris teaches us the value of standing with our pelvises thrust out at all times.”
Oh, KATE. You are better than the Paris Pelvis. You are also better than a dress I wore to a winter formal in 1996. I get that you probably think it shows off a streamlined physique that no doubt you will claim is due only to running around after your kids — and you DO look fantastic, it’s true, so please put out a “Running Around After Your Kids: How To Get Calf Muscles and Lose Ten Pounds Just By Being A Mom” DVD — but the frock is just a bit Donna Martin Goes To See Fergie’s Girl-Band Wild Orchid Play The After-Dark for my taste.
KATE: I want it, Leo. I want the Oscar.
LEO: And you will win one, Kate. … For HOTNESS.
KATE: Stop clowning. I know I look fabulous. Have you SEEN me?
LEO: I’m either used to the tan, or it’s faded. Smashing.
KATE: Next stop, Academy Award.
LEO: I can see you holding it, Kate.
KATE: I have to have it, Leo.
LEO: Squeeze my hand and let’s dream together.
KATE: I will not be Susan Lucci, Leo. I will not be the goddamn Susan Lucci of Real Acting.
LEO: I won’t let it happen.
KATE: Nineteen tries. It took her NINETEEN TRIES to win the Daytime Emmy. I’ve had ten tries and I haven’t even won a fucking Globe. A GLOBE. They’re not even REAL AWARDS.
LEO: Wow, you have one hell of a grip.
KATE: I will NOT LET THIS HAPPEN. I WILL NOT become the Erica Kane Martin Brent Cudahy Chandler Roy Roy Montgomery Montgomery Chandler Marick Marick Montgomery of the grown-up awards circuit! NO.
LEO: Can’t… feel… fingers…
KATE: I have two more Globe nominations, and let’s
face it, probably two more Oscar ones coming up, AND ONE OF THEM HAD BETTER PAY OFF, DO YOU HEAR ME?
LEO: All right, all right! But at least you look amazing.
KATE: Well, yes. That is the first step. And then we will conquer the trophies.
LEO: Phew. I thought I was going to lose my hand.