Fugger: Kate Winslet

Fug the Cover: Kate Winslet on Vogue

I am pretty excited that I predicted this in our annual Vogue Predict The Cover:

But do I — or any of us — really get those points when the actor in question looks nigh-unrecognizable? Additionally, this poor blonde woman, whomever she may be, appears to have been living in a wind tunnel for at least five years. Should any of us truly benefit when there are such horrors at hand? As a sidebar, I find it hard to believe that no one at Vogue pointed that when the only celebrity names on your cover are Kate Winslet, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Matthew McConaughey, you are perhaps in danger of being accused of no longer having your finger on the pulse of Hollywood (no disrespect to McConaughey, who has been having an interesting couple of years in terms of the roles he takes. All disrespect to the person who decided that 2013 was a great time to make a Sex and the City reference on the cover of Vogue. Poor SJP must have seen that and just groaned). All that being said, I do hold out hope that “Power Python for the Office” is a how-to on bringing your snake to work.

[Cover: Vogue]


Well Played, Kate Winslet

You know that, when prepping for this event, Kate Winslet and her stylist surely made many a joke about how she’s attending the premiere for a movie called Labor Day when it appears she is very close to going into labor.

[Photos: Getty]


TIFF Fugs and Fabs: What We Missed

Apparently, there were 288 films at Toronto this year — one LESS than last year. So why does it feel like there were 600 MORE red-carpet screenings?

[Photos: Getty]


Fug or Fab: Titanic ladies

So, I get why cast member Frances Fisher might be excited that Titanic is back in theaters, in 3D.

But the only way this could have been more on-the-nose is if she’d shown up naked with a huge blue heart pendant on her chest.

Oh, no, wait, that’s what Kate Winslet did. … I’m kidding. But let’s see what DID happen on that front:

will she put the ‘win’ in winslet


Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Kate Winslet

Now that she’s dating a dude named Ned Rocknroll — yes, that is a real thing — and she stepped out in those skintight Stella McCartney dresses, I thought maybe Kate Winslet’s awards show couture would take on an edgier bent than in previous years. And I was curious how that would work.

Instead, no, it’s just basically boring regular stuff. From the neck up, she’s still totally in business, but the rest of this is not terribly flattering and might exist at the intersection of Dullsville Rd. and Stodgetown’s main street. I mean, this is Kate f’ing Winslet. How come she wasn’t in Evan Rachel Wood’s exotic endangered emu gown, or Diane Lane’s Reem Acra, or even Laura Dern’s sequins? It might not have worked, but on a night when she was a virtual lock to win the Globe because she’s Kate Winslet and she starred in about twelve hours of an HBO miniseries in which Guy Pearce buried his face in her nethers a lot, I think she should’ve made a splash. Leap off the high platform, don’t just slip into the pool and hope we think you dove in. Whatever the hell that means. (It means: OLYMPICS 2012 FEVER IS STARTING.)

[Photo: Getty]


Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Kate Winslet

At Fashion Week this year, I kept thinking how much it must stink to be a designer who shows at the end of the week, because the ritualistic mind meld that occurs means that when said designer sends chartreuse and orange stuff down the runway — stuff that person worked super hard on — everyone is like, “God, AGAIN? We’ve already SEEN THIS BY NOW. YAWN.” Such was the case, a bit, with Kate Winslet. When she hit the carpet, we turned to each other and said, “BORING.”

But in fairness, regardless of whether tons of other people had already donned the color, Kate’s dress gets the thumbs down from me because it was a snoozer on its own merits. Girl. You knew you were the hot favorite to win, making you three-quarters of the way to your coveted EGOT. When you inevitably star on Broadway just to get that Tony, and someone makes you a giant framed photo of you winning all your statuettes, EVEN YOU are going to look at this and suddenly drop into narcoleptic slumber. Admit it.


Mildfug Pierce

“Hello, world. You think I’m dressing older? You think I got dowdy? Well GET A LOAD OF THIS.

“Oh, and P.S., sorry Mildred Pierce was so interminable. And that we claimed she invented chicken restaurants. And surf-and-turf. And that Melissa Leo only gave one line reading the whole time.  And that the last line was, ‘Let’s get stinko.’ But admit it: After that thing was over, you WANTED to get stinko. Plus, I gave you some naked Guy Pearce. And now, I give you my breasts on a white platter. You’re welcome.”