Fugger: Jessica Chastain

Fug and Fab: Jessica Chastain

Wait a minute. Do we think that’s the Letterman Dumpster, trying to disguise itself as a harmless upright piano waiting to be delivered? Is it looking up on Chastain’s bellbottomed jumpsuit and rethinking the life choice that saw it vacate that nice Park Avenue-adjacent alley outside a UES condo just to get a load of this?

Also herein: Special Guest Stars Heather Locklear, Dakota Fanning, and Kate Mara, except that one of those is a lie.

[Photos: Splash]


Well Played Cover: Jessica Chastain on Harper’s Bazaar UK

I kind of wish she were smiling, but I get it. This is the Imposing But Beautiful Portrait of The Lady of the House Hanging Over The Fireplace In a Mansion:


And as such, it is dead on fantastic. You may remember a version of this dress from the time Sarah Paulson went to the Emmys, or that time Felicity Jones looked awesome, and the truth is that I like it best here, where it’s not supposed to be anything but over-the-top and mad crazy impressive expensive looking, and perfect for her to wander past, fifty years hence, drinking a cocktail and sharply informing her grandson’s terrible fiancee that she was once the most beautiful woman in New York and she remembers very well how to destroy her enemies, before sweeping off to smoke out on the terrace and think about her youth. Also: Polka dots.

(I just noticed that there’s a story in this issue by Princess Eugenie. I am interested to see if the byline on the actual article reads “Princess Eugenie” or Eugenie York. I totally understand why they’d refer to her using the former on the cover, but using “Princess Eugenie” as your byline might give me a case of the side-eyes.)


Fug or Fab: Jessica Chastain in DSquared

I love the fabric, and… I’d say about 85 percent of the dress itself. Which is a solid B grade — room for improvement but some skills certainly demonstrated.

Grade it! Grade it like you're Edna Krabappel.

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[Photos: AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News]


Fug or/and Fab: Jessica Chastain

Love the sunglasses, wish she’d worn a bracelet — two emotions I express so often that I might as well just write a poem about them and be done with it:

62nd San Sebastian Film Festival: Arrivals - Day 4

Love the sunglasses

Wish you’d worn a bracelet, girl.

Nude shoes must die out.

That about covers it, right? (The dress is cute. Hope you enjoy Chastain, because she’s got SIX movies coming out this year, so she’s getting ready to give us a lot to talk about [I do (here's hoping most of it is good)].)

In fact, she gave us more to talk about this very same day:

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Well Played, Jessica Chastain in Erdem

I really like this on her, but we’re going to have to have a conversation about the illusion netting.*

*Speaking of illusion netting reminds me that we learned over the weekend that Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski (and Terry Gannon) have been bumped up to first string figure-skating play-by-play, meaning Scott Hamilton and Sandra Bezic are dunzo for NBC, to which I say THANK GOD and I can’t believe it.

[Photos: AKM/GSI]


Recent Fugs and Fabs: Jessica Chastain

Let’s check in on this lady. Spoiler: I really want one pair of her shoes.

[Photos: AKM/GSI, Fame/Flynet, PCN]