Fugger: Jennifer Aniston

SAG Awards Cleav Carpet: Jennifer Aniston in John Galliano

And the Actor goes to…

jennifer aniston sag awards 2015

… Jennifer Aniston, for her role as Heidi Klum in the gritty indie biopic National Lampoon’s Project Funbags.

[Photo: Getty]


Critics’ Choice Movie Awards Unfug or Fab: Jennifer Aniston in Gucci

I admit, I was tempted for a second to put Angelina and Aniston in the same post, and make you vote. Team Jen vs. Team Jolie, once and for all. But then I decided that story is A DECADE OLD NOW. Nobody cares. I’m on both your teams, and neither of your teams, all at the same time. As much as I love soaps and a good ol’ catfight, I’m over it, and — inasmuch as you’re ever truly over wanting to stick it to your ex’s new lobster — I suspect both of them are over it as well, because they would rather their gravestones not read, say, “Here lieth Jennifer Aniston, former wife of Brad Pitt, did some acting stuff, hated Angelina until her last breath, enraged that she went first, Unbroken stank,” or whatever.

So. For today, at least, until I change my mind again, I will only IMAGINE the side-eyes that might have been exchanged, and instead focus on Jennifer’s getup. (Except for how I just wrote a whole paragraph about her and Angelina ANYWAY. Sorry, Jen. Best efforts and all that.)

Jennifer Aniston at The 20th Annual Critics Choice Movie Awards in Hollywood

Jennifer had a truly endearing look on her face at the Globes that suggested she thought maybe, just maybe, she might win that thing for Cake. She didn’t, and then didn’t get an Oscar nod either. (I forgot that when I wrote my Oscar Afternoon Chat post. Haven’t seen that one, either.) That has to be disappointing. But much like how Emily Blunt may have been like, “FINE, let me show you what you are missing,” this outfit says to me, “Just be cool. Be cool. You’re not bummed. Be cool. You’re chill like ice. BE COOL. IT DIDN’T BOTHER YOU, YOU’RE JUST A COMPLETELY HIP PERSON OUT FOR A CASUAL NIGHT, YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT TROPHIES, YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE  MANTEL, ALTHOUGH THAT’S ONLY BECAUSE YOU SLEDGEHAMMERED IT IN A RAGE THIS AFTERNOON BUT WHATEVER NOBODY KNOWS THAT.”

What I like about it: the RED. As in, generally the only color she’ll wear that isn’t black or white or grey, although this one has a rusty tinge to it that’s a nice change from Fire Engine hues And I appreciate that it’s a departure from type. I even don’t hate the idea of the sexy suit jacket, sans shirt and plus sternum bling. But sometimes that can look weighed-down rather than like Letting It All Hang Out, and I worry this is leaning toward the former. I also think the overlong pant with the aggressive seams, paired with matching shoes, takes it even further away from hip and into older-lady territory. A slimmer fit on her shins and a high strappy pair of black or gold shoes… what do you think? Does it help? Tell it like it is in the comments. Y’all, be there for her. ‘Cause she’s there for you too.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


Golden Globes Fug or Fab: Jennifer Aniston in Saint Laurent

These are two VERY TAN HUMANS:

The 72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Although they also look happy — I kind of hope they announce that they’ve been secretly married for two years and they’ve just been screwing with us  — and quite leggy. When Aniston got up on stage to present last night, I kept yelling at her to BE CAREFUL, because she came very close to showing us her Rachel Green, and indeed, that skirt means saucy business. Over all, this feels like kind of a punt — she doesn’t look bad, but the dress feels sort of half-assed on the part of Saint Laurent — and yet the fact that I watched like twelve straight episodes of Friends over the weekend makes me extra fond of Jen A. once again. So I might give them both a cheery wave and let them pass by. What do you think?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Fuggrible Bosses: Jennifer Aniston

The truth is that the detailing on this dress is really lovely. But as a whole…isn’t it kind of bizarre?

[Photos: Splash]


Well Played, Jennifer Aniston

Okay, admittedly, I am wild about plaid in general. MAD FOR PLAID!! Is what Us Weekly would paste over my face, if you could really go crazy over a fabric. So take this with a grain of salt. BUT:

The Cinema Society & InStyle Host A Special Screening Of "Cake"

I do think this might be almost the cutest she’s looked in, in, AGES. Boots plus plaid plus coat is basically my platonic ideal of a cute-but-casual movie screening outfit and I have to give her a round of applause, because I think this could have veered Too Young, and yet somehow she’s saved it. Gold star.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


Fug or Fab: Jennifer Aniston in Bouchra Jarrar

Other than this being her usual unimaginative color palette, I sort of enjoy this.

Jennifer Aniston

It’s straitjacket adjacent — like someone did Designer Asylum as a senior project — but it’s unusual, and particularly different for her. Which she needs becaue her head is stuck in a massive rut. Did someone once tell her never to wear red lipstick? Is there no crimson hue that works on her complexion? Is that even possible? Because when you’re not adding any OTHER spice, that’s a great way to cheat some. With that possible addition, I might have given her high scores for this outfit… if she’d also thought to clip off the stray threads hanging down and kissing her right shin. If you look closely, the entire hem is unfinished. What is wrong with people? This is not the outfit on which to go all derelicte and deconstructed. FINISH THINGS YOU START, PEOPLE. If I just stopped this post before I was done writing, you’d all

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[Photo: Splash]