Fugger: Jake Gyllenhaal

Fugs and Fabs of the Hollywood Film Awards


In which Sandra Bullock and Lupita Nyong’o battle it out for best dressed. Start the awards season as you mean to go on, I suppose.

[Photos: Getty]

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Beard or Bald-Faced: Jake Gyllenhaal


We’re having to pull a few rabbits out of hats today. I know, I know, plenty of other sites come up with content, and I should quit my whining, but… I feel like I need to explain to you guys that we’re not denying you a load of historically awful fashion just because we want to talk about facial hair. And yet, I’d rather discuss the relative hotness of Jake Gyllenhaal’s manscaping than trot out a picture of a celeb in a maxi dress just to do it. So let’s get down to it. These are IMPORTANT MATTERS.

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[Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash]

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Well Played, Anne Hathaway


For the most part, I like the pair of metallic cocktail frocks — and the arm candy — Anne wore to the Love and Other Drugs premieres in Sydney: This gold retro-style one (with lamentable hooves, but what can you do?), and a blue sequined one with transparent fluttery sleeves about which I am not sure, but I am captivated enough by the colorful sparkles on her dress that I’m sort of ignoring that other part.

It’s smart of Anne not to wear anything as depressing as that movie seems to be; frankly, if she went into a screening of it looking like she would rather eat knives baked inside an arsenic cake, it wouldn’t be the greatest motivation to spend my $14 at the ArcLight to see whether I think she deserves the Best Actress nod I suspect is coming. Several friends have suggested I will spend the entire movie wanting to slap her character, which would make this the second time Anne has achieved career Nirvana for playing an infuriating role; ergo I suspect she will soon be starring in a film adaptation of those Burger King breakfast-sandwich ads where everyone chants in military cadence, then follow it up with a biopic about Flo The Progressive Insurance Lady.

[Photos: Getty, PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

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NY Fug.com: History of the Sword-and-Sandal Ab: From Spartacus to Jake Gyllenhaal


Heather and I spent much of yesterday discussing historical abs of yesteryear, specifically those framed by loincloths. Never let me complain about my life again.

“Though it’s been many years since we read The Odyssey, we don’t
recall Homer penning that many odes to taut, firm abs. Ergo, we’ve
decided that Kirk Douglas’s distinct lack of six-pack stems simply from
devotion to the source material — and also perhaps because he was too
busy cultivating his beard to exercise.”

From that…to Brad Pitt in Troy. Holy cow, you guys, I forgot how CUT he was in this movie. Remind yourself, herein.

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