Fugger: Jake Gyllenhaal

Fugs and Fabs: HFPA Grants Banquet

The title of the event was snoozy, but fortunately, Halle Berry may have a Pavlovian reaction to the letters “HFPA” — sponsors of the Golden Globes — and so she busted out something that may have been raised on a nut farm.

[Photos: Getty]


Boringly/Boredly Played: Rachel McAdams and Jake Gyllenhaal

The Southpaw promotional trail, winding through the ESPYs and whatnot, has been… curious.

jake gyllenhaal, rachel mcadams

That dress feels like she’s running out of steam and just wants to go home. And I am not sure Jake ever had any steam to run out of; at all these events, at least from what I’ve seen, she comes off like she’s trying to smile and manufacture some chemistry while he’s all but stroking his beard and musing, “Is Nietzsche right that objectivity is a fallacy? Did the notion of perfection create imperfection, or vice versa? What ARE numbers? Why is Fox Sports One in the 200s on DirecTV but Fox Sports Prime all the way up in the 600s? UNIVERSE, THY QUIRKS PLAGUE MY SLEEP.”

[Photo: Getty]


Fugs and Fabs: The Gotham Film Awards

All hail SWINTON. (And you should probably read this GQ profile of her, anointing her their Woman of the Year. First off, it’s extremely SWINTON-y and wonderful, and second, the fact that GQ has named TS and not, say, Kate Upton as their Woman of the Year pleases me. [No offense to Kate Upton.]) Beyond SWINTON, I’ve also got some Hamm for you here, so Gyllenhaal, some Tomei, a bit of Moore…a VARIETY of celebs. Join me in judgement.

[Photos: Splash]


Fugs and Fabs of the Hollywood Film Awards

In which Sandra Bullock and Lupita Nyong’o battle it out for best dressed. Start the awards season as you mean to go on, I suppose.

[Photos: Getty]


Beard or Bald-Faced: Jake Gyllenhaal

We’re having to pull a few rabbits out of hats today. I know, I know, plenty of other sites come up with content, and I should quit my whining, but… I feel like I need to explain to you guys that we’re not denying you a load of historically awful fashion just because we want to talk about facial hair. And yet, I’d rather discuss the relative hotness of Jake Gyllenhaal’s manscaping than trot out a picture of a celeb in a maxi dress just to do it. So let’s get down to it. These are IMPORTANT MATTERS.

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[Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash]


Well Played, Anne Hathaway

For the most part, I like the pair of metallic cocktail frocks — and the arm candy — Anne wore to the Love and Other Drugs premieres in Sydney: This gold retro-style one (with lamentable hooves, but what can you do?), and a blue sequined one with transparent fluttery sleeves about which I am not sure, but I am captivated enough by the colorful sparkles on her dress that I’m sort of ignoring that other part.

It’s smart of Anne not to wear anything as depressing as that movie seems to be; frankly, if she went into a screening of it looking like she would rather eat knives baked inside an arsenic cake, it wouldn’t be the greatest motivation to spend my $14 at the ArcLight to see whether I think she deserves the Best Actress nod I suspect is coming. Several friends have suggested I will spend the entire movie wanting to slap her character, which would make this the second time Anne has achieved career Nirvana for playing an infuriating role; ergo I suspect she will soon be starring in a film adaptation of those Burger King breakfast-sandwich ads where everyone chants in military cadence, then follow it up with a biopic about Flo The Progressive Insurance Lady.

[Photos: Getty, PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]