Fugger: Hayden Panettiere

Golden Globes Mostly Well Played: Hayden Panettiere


This is clearly a cousin to Julianne Moore’s Tom Ford from last year.

So basically it’s an exceptionally good-looking extended family. I’m not wild about the wet-look hair, but whatever. If we could control every aspect of all our relatives, independent film as a concept would die. So let’s live and let live.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Hayden Panettiere


Gone is the Letterman Dumpster, but it’s temporarily being replaced by its cousin, Incredibly Scenic Wrapped Rolling Table Full of Shadowy Things.

And that rolling table, right now, is thinking, “Man, my plastic wrap looks more convincing than her hair.”

Of course, it might BE her real hair, but it looks awfully plonked on there to me. It’s a plonkathon. The dress and bots might be a little much together, too, but then again, ninety-nine percent of other people would have worn nude shoes with this so hooray for her taking a chance. It’s not terrible. It’s all just… the hair threw me and I haven’t gotten my bearings yet.

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[Photo: WENN]

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Fugville


News that T. Bone Burnett isn’t doing the music for Nashville next season has me HUGELY concerned, because the music was the thing that show did perfectly every single time, and everything else was an inconsistent mess. I am going to try and reserve judgment, but… Hayden had better have new reserves of acting thunder to bring, because otherwise, I have bad feeling about this.

And about this:

She’s at an Armani fashion show, so presumably Armani dressed her; I’m unclear why Armani would be making baggy blouses that look like a kindergarten art project interpretation of a tuxedo, much less why they’re doling those out to starlets, but if you ask me she should’ve just called in sick and fallen into a Mai Tai. Maybe I’ll do that right now, in sympathy. *cough* Ahem, Jess, I’m not feeling great.

[Photo: Getty]

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Billboard Music Awards Fug Carpet: Black and White and WTF All Over


As more and more pictures rolled in, I finally snapped and e-mailed Jessica, “EVERYONE NAKED AND DUMB AT THIS THING.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: Versus Versace Launch


This is so trashy that I keep expecting Oscar the Grouch to pop out of her navel. Heidi Klum, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: The ABC Upfronts


I know this is sacrilege, but y’all, I was really super bored by the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. clip from upfronts. The Once Upon A Time spinoff even looked better, and that — while potentially legitimately okay in some aspects — involves a lot of really serious utterances of the word “genie.”

Lotto show Lucky 7 seems blah (didn’t we already do this when it was called Windfall and it starred Luke Perry and Lana Parilla?); Killer Women has a terrible title and may not be lighthearted enough about itself to make up for it; Resurrection seems more like a miniseries but I was surprisingly moved by parts of it; Betrayal looks like it will be incredibly dull when stretched across 13 (much less 22) episodes; Mind Games seems promising but maybe that’s just by comparison; and Mixology… looks like a total shitshow in the vein of the rapidly canceled and widely reviled My Generation from the 2010 season. The tagline is basically One Season, One Bar, One Night, and thirteen to twenty-two hours set inside one bar with those characters sounds so claustrophobic that I almost tunneled out of my house just from the clip alone.

As for the comedies… OH WAIT, Mixology IS supposed to be a comedy, which is the funniest thing about it from what I can tell. Super Fun Night appears only to embody one of those words, and it’s neither of the first two (sorry, Rebel Wilson); Trophy Wife is very whatever, Back In The Game meh, and The Goldbergs just makes me want to go stream some Wonder Years episodes and regret that Dan Lauria wasn’t immortal and ageless because every nostalgic show about childhood should involve him. Jeff Garlin’s unmodulated barking stresses me out in this context.

Potential Fug The Show candidates: Zero, as far as I can see. Sigh.

[Photos: Getty]

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