Fugger: Halle Berry

ESPYs Fug Carpet: Halle Berry


Halle Berry looks so PERPLEXED here:

The 2015 ESPYS - Arrivals

“Where am I? The ESPYs? Why? OH, because Extant is on ABC, just like…it’s NOT? Are you sure? No, no, I believe you. I actually keep forgetting they even renewed that thing. Then I’m here because… I’m Halle Berry and people enjoy hearing me talk and seeing my face, and also I can be relied upon to deliver an award with competence? Sure, that works for me. I’ll just rustle up a little sheer/leather/striped/drop-waisted/possibly moderately embroidered number with sleeves that recall the power and glory of a bat sleeping upside down on my arms and then I’ll be right over! Thanks for having me!”

[Photo: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: Celebs at Comic-Con, Day 1


I don’t understand why Comic-Con is basically just Anything-Con now. So many of these shows are not comic, nor comics. I suppose it may bear out that some of these are long cons, which would at least cover that word.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Halle Berry


I ALWAYS think, first off, with her: “God, you are SO GOOD LOOKING, Halle Berry.” Revlon is wise to be in business with this face:

Halle Berry Lunch Celebrates Women Cancer Research - Arrivals

What about this OUTFIT, though? At first glance, I was down with it: Black pencil skirt, white top, doing the half-tuck thing. Very appropriate for daytime event. Simple. Good stuff. And then I looked closer at the shirt and it kinda started to look like her nightgown, tucked into her skirt in a hurry, like she woke up late and forgot her shirt and then thought, “I can repurpose my nightgown, right? No one will know, right? Right. Let’s do this.”

What do you think?

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Halle Berry


In the past, she had a tendency to show up places looking very Sexy, so I appreciate how…voluminous this is:

Mattel Children's Hospital UCLA Kaleidoscope Ball

And in my fantasy where I show up at Halle Berry for her legendary Cinco de Mayo party, this is totally what she is wearing before she ushers me out to the pool and shows me where the guacamole and margaritas are, before disappearing to be the consummate hostess whilst I stuff my face and get accidentally super drunk. But in any other situation…I am unsure.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Emmys Well Played: Halle Berry


It doesn’t sound like her foray into TV has been great.

Halle Berry in Elie Saab

Luckily, other than that piece of hair in her face, the whole Being Halle Berry business still seems to be cruising along just fine.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Halle Berry in Versace


I was WAY more excited about this when I thought the sleeves extended into gloves, a la Kim Kardashian’s Met Gala Upholstered Travesty.

Not because that would be good, of course, but mostly because there were SO MANY MORE jokes I could make about such a thing — so many allusions to her stint as Cat Woman — than I can make about this. Because is SOOOOOO Halle Berry: Versace, slinkier than it needs to be, not WHOLLY offensive, given a boost by the fact that she’s gorgeous, and ultimately neither the best nor the most interesting she can do. Yes. That’s where we are. I’m bemoaning the fact that her sleeves do NOT end in wacky, misguided gloves. I might need a vacation.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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