Fugger: Halle Berry

Fug or Fab: Halle Berry in Versace


I was WAY more excited about this when I thought the sleeves extended into gloves, a la Kim Kardashian’s Met Gala Upholstered Travesty.

Not because that would be good, of course, but mostly because there were SO MANY MORE jokes I could make about such a thing — so many allusions to her stint as Cat Woman — than I can make about this. Because is SOOOOOO Halle Berry: Versace, slinkier than it needs to be, not WHOLLY offensive, given a boost by the fact that she’s gorgeous, and ultimately neither the best nor the most interesting she can do. Yes. That’s where we are. I’m bemoaning the fact that her sleeves do NOT end in wacky, misguided gloves. I might need a vacation.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Mostly Fabs of The Huading Film Awards


Per Getty Images, “Huading Film Awards is China’s #1 Film awards, in the U.S. for the first time.” Wikipedia tells me that last year, they held the awards in Macao, and I feel like if I were a US star being honored, I might be sad that I didn’t get to go to Macao. I learned from Skyfall that it’s VERY exciting there.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: CBS Upfronts


Halle Berry just out-dueled Katie Cassidy for Worst Pants.

As for what’s on the network, it’s all MYSTERIES all the time.

Extant: This is a summer show. Halle Berry gets pregnant on a solo mission in space that had a very attractive secret she doesn’t want anyone to know. Goran Visnjic plays her husband, who has made them a robot son. So it’s alien babies mixed with artificial intelligence and a healthy dose of whether humanity is cruising for extinction. It could be worse? It MIGHT be worse, but at least it’s a concept I can see playing out over, say, 10-13 episodes.

Stalker: Maggie Q heads a unit tasked with investigating stalkers… and it will shock you to know that SHE HAS ALSO BEEN STALKED. Dylan McDermott is the cocky Cop With A Shady Past who comes to her unit and teaches her how to looooove. Or, you know, he just shows up and impresses her even though he’s a man-whore.

Scorpion: The smartest man in the world assembles a team of genius friends to help Robert Patrick and the government; also maybe makes inroads with Katharine McPhee in a bad wig (or at least I hope it’s a wig). This one feels like Speed meets The Big Bang Theory, and turns INSANE toward the end when planes start flying into things, which is also kind of what I hope happens on The Big Bang Theory soon.

Madam Secretary: Tea Leoni, a former CIA agent, gets recruited to replace a dead Secretary of State, and LET ME ASSURE YOU, her tough-talkin’ non-glam demeanor is going to MAKE SOME WAVES. Sometimes when I watch Tea Leoni talk, it’s like she’s trying really hard to limit how much she actually opens her mouth.

NCIS: New Orleans: I got about fifteen seconds into this and couldn’t keep going. I quit right after Scott Bakula made some droll comment to Mark Harmon about how The Old Ways Still Work In N’Awlins. I’m out, although to be fair, I was never going to be in.

The McCarthys: This Boston family just can’t seem to stay out of each other’s business!!! And one of them is GAY!!!!! Loud laugh track, overly shouty performances, stilted staging, and Laurie Metcalf.

[Photos: Getty, Splash]

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Oscars Night Fugs and Fabs: Women Wearing Black


All of whom are angling to steal away the honorific of The Widow.

[Photos: Getty]

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X-Fug


Well, hell. If those are what’s hot for spring, I’m in big trouble.

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Fugs and Fabs: Halle Berry and Abigail Breslin


First of all, I think  we can all agree that The Call looks like a Lifetime movie. And listen, I enjoy the occasional jaunt over to the Lifetime Movie Network. I once stayed home and folded laundry for EIGHT HOURS one Sunday when they ran a marathon of all the Menendez Brothers movies. But when you think “911 operator gets possessed by Liam Neeson in Taken” do you REALLY go right to a big screen release and Halle Berry? Because that seems like made-for-TV movie to me for sure. Also confusing: ABIGAIL BRESLIN’S OUTFIT. We’ll get to it.

[Photos: Getty]

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