Fugger: Cameron Diaz

Oscar Fug or Fab Carpet: J.Lo and Cammy D



J: Nice try, SO CUTE, GRACIAS FOR COMING, but you wouldn’t know how to HOLA LOVER if it hit you on la cabeza with a surfboard. Do not even attempt it, James Cameron.

C: No, no, I’m Cameron Diaz, not James Cameron.

J: I care about that as much as you cared about your makeup. HAHAHA. I GOT YOU, CANDACE CAMERON. Don’t mess with my block.

C: You’re a nutjob.

J: Lopez for president! Viva 2013!

C: There isn’t an election in 2013.


C: I… never mind.

How did J.Lo do?

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And Cameron?

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[Photos: Getty]


Fug or Fab the Couture Week: Cameron Diaz

Well, the good news is, at least The Bob appears to be getting under control. The news isn’t awful from the rest of her, either; just a little monochromatic. She is the opposite of Steven Tyler, who never met a color he didn’t pair with five others.

[Photos: Getty, WENN, FameFlynet]


Golden Globes Afterfugty Carpet: Cameron Diaz

Well, Cameron is definitely FIT…

… but I can’t co-sign on this. The front of her dress is bunching so much that it bobs up and down like a roller-coaster for toddlers.

And that hair and makeup ages her ten years. I just… I can’t. What? No. Huh? Her hair is being processed by something, that’s for sure; just not by my brain.


Teen Choice Awards Better Played Carpet: Cameron Diaz

It sort of amazes me that Cameron Diaz is still winning stuff at the Teen Choice Awards — this year, Best Actress in a Comedy for Bad Teacher. I have thoughts:

a) Reviewers seem to dispute that Bad Teacher was, in fact, comedic;

b) Really? She was better in a semi-loathsome role than ANYONE female in ANYTHING ELSE FUNNY this year? Bridesmaids, anyone?

c) Hang on: The other nominees were Eva Mendes in The Other Guys, which came out an eternity ago (or so it feels), to the point where I can’t even remember hearing about anything funny she did in that; Anna Faris in Take Me Home Tonight (what?); and Maya Rudolph (who didn’t have much to do) and K.Wiig. I had big issues with Wiigsy’s character in Bridesmaids, but for the driving scene alone in the last act, she should’ve had this in the bag.

d) But seriously, WERE THOSE THE BEST NOMINEES ANYONE COULD OFFER THIS YEAR? Wow. That makes me want to cry over both some spilled milk, AND some milk that is still safely in its carton. Somebody needs to hire some women for some comedies, stat, before next year’s comedic nominees are, like, Kristen Stewart in Twilight: Breaking Water, and Kate Winslet in something where Kate Winslet gets naked and cries a lot.

e) Also Bad Teacher was R-rated, meaning that if your teen chose it in ANY capacity, there’s a 50-50 chance your teen is in huge trouble tonight.

f) OR Cammy won because all those tabloids ran the same photo of her in short-shorts running a hose over herself, both in general and in every article about Justin Timberlake’s lovelife.

g) I mean, I guess she could have been good. I don’t know. But I have a hard time believing she was better than… well, okay, at least Wiig and Rudolph.

However, there is a silver lining:

Hair: brushed. Shoes: cool. Outfit: not joined at the crotch, and thus, not a romper. It’s like she’s working off a GFY checklist.


Fug or Fab: Cameron Diaz

Well, I wrote this before Cam-Cam showed up at the Bad Teacher premiere the other day in an actual skirt, but whatever. Bear with me. For a moment in time in Germany, the Cameron Diaz Romper Tour of 2011 continued apace:

This is from her appearance on Wetten Dass?, alongside J.Lo and Heidi Klum’s Poisoned Crotch outfit, and I really hope someone shows her this photo as evidence that she needs to stop trying to hang onto A-Rod by doing workouts with him that involve, like, pulling around giant tires or whatever. Those guns are a tad overloaded and her neck muscles are starting to look like doom. She is Cameron Diaz, not Magnus Ver Magnusson, World’s Strongest Man.

Cammy did ditch the romper for the movie’s German premiere, though:

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Bad Fugcher

I was reading Vanity Fair the other day, and in the Justin Timberlake article, it mentions that he and Cameron Diaz dated five years ago. And it’s TRUE. I mean, I didn’t think Vanity Fair would lie to me through one of its typically glowing profiles, but it’s just so crazy to me — it feels like that just happened, even though he spent the last several years stringing along with Jessica Biel. So I guess I can’t suggest that Cammy did her best Boobs Legsly at the Bad Teacher, the better to rub her ex’s nose in what he’s missing. … Wait, what? They were pawing at each other? GAME ON.

[Photos: Getty and Flynet]