Well, the good news is, at least The Bob appears to be getting under control. The news isn’t awful from the rest of her, either; just a little monochromatic. She is the opposite of Steven Tyler, who never met a color he didn’t pair with five others.
[Photos: Getty, WENN, FameFlynet]
Well, Cameron is definitely FIT…
… but I can’t co-sign on this. The front of her dress is bunching so much that it bobs up and down like a roller-coaster for toddlers.
And that hair and makeup ages her ten years. I just… I can’t. What? No. Huh? Her hair is being processed by something, that’s for sure; just not by my brain.
It sort of amazes me that Cameron Diaz is still winning stuff at the Teen Choice Awards — this year, Best Actress in a Comedy for Bad Teacher. I have thoughts:
a) Reviewers seem to dispute that Bad Teacher was, in fact, comedic;
b) Really? She was better in a semi-loathsome role than ANYONE female in ANYTHING ELSE FUNNY this year? Bridesmaids, anyone?
c) Hang on: The other nominees were Eva Mendes in The Other Guys, which came out an eternity ago (or so it feels), to the point where I can’t even remember hearing about anything funny she did in that; Anna Faris in Take Me Home Tonight (what?); and Maya Rudolph (who didn’t have much to do) and K.Wiig. I had big issues with Wiigsy’s character in Bridesmaids, but for the driving scene alone in the last act, she should’ve had this in the bag.
d) But seriously, WERE THOSE THE BEST NOMINEES ANYONE COULD OFFER THIS YEAR? Wow. That makes me want to cry over both some spilled milk, AND some milk that is still safely in its carton. Somebody needs to hire some women for some comedies, stat, before next year’s comedic nominees are, like, Kristen Stewart in Twilight: Breaking Water, and Kate Winslet in something where Kate Winslet gets naked and cries a lot.
e) Also Bad Teacher was R-rated, meaning that if your teen chose it in ANY capacity, there’s a 50-50 chance your teen is in huge trouble tonight.
f) OR Cammy won because all those tabloids ran the same photo of her in short-shorts running a hose over herself, both in general and in every article about Justin Timberlake’s lovelife.
g) I mean, I guess she could have been good. I don’t know. But I have a hard time believing she was better than… well, okay, at least Wiig and Rudolph.
However, there is a silver lining:
Hair: brushed. Shoes: cool. Outfit: not joined at the crotch, and thus, not a romper. It’s like she’s working off a GFY checklist.
I was reading Vanity Fair the other day, and in the Justin Timberlake article, it mentions that he and Cameron Diaz dated five years ago. And it’s TRUE. I mean, I didn’t think Vanity Fair would lie to me through one of its typically glowing profiles, but it’s just so crazy to me — it feels like that just happened, even though he spent the last several years stringing along with Jessica Biel. So I guess I can’t suggest that Cammy did her best Boobs Legsly at the Bad Teacher, the better to rub her ex’s nose in what he’s missing. … Wait, what? They were pawing at each other? GAME ON.
[Photos: Getty and Flynet]
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Oscar Fug or Fab Carpet: J.Lo and Cammy D
J: HOLA LOVER.
C: HOLA LOVER.
J: Nice try, SO CUTE, GRACIAS FOR COMING, but you wouldn’t know how to HOLA LOVER if it hit you on la cabeza with a surfboard. Do not even attempt it, James Cameron.
C: No, no, I’m Cameron Diaz, not James Cameron.
J: I care about that as much as you cared about your makeup. HAHAHA. I GOT YOU, CANDACE CAMERON. Don’t mess with my block.
C: You’re a nutjob.
J: Lopez for president! Viva 2013!
C: There isn’t an election in 2013.
J: YOU SAY THAT NOW, CAM NEWTON.
C: I… never mind.
[Photos: Getty]
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