Fug File: WTF

WTF: Christina Milian

You guys, there is nothing I love more than when celebs are asked to “host” a “pool party” in Vegas. Because you can tell they all think, “Sure, that sounds fun OH GOD WHAT DO I WEAR TO THAT?” Because you can’t just show up in a bikini. But nor do you wear a dress-dress. (I vote: CAFTAN, YOU GUYS. Duh.)

Christina Milian At The Go Pool At Flamingo Las Vegas

But the answer is basically NEVER Tiny Denim Shorts with Heels and a Pleather Crop-Top With Fringed Sleeves. She looks like someone threw one quarter cup Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, half a cup of Britney, and an aluminum can of Coors Light into a blender.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


What the Fug: Lucy Hale

This ticks all three Pretty Little Liars boxes; She is pretty, and she is little…

lucy hale AOL Build Speaker series pretty little liars aria

… and whoever told her this DIDN’T look like she would bust into a tap routine set to Best Little Whorehouse In Texas was a liar. Done.

[Photo: Getty]


WTF: Scout Taylor-Compton

STC here is an actress you’ve totally seen before — she played Lita Ford in The Runaways with Kristen Stewart, for example — and she also starred in Sleepover, which was (trivia!) also the movie responsible for the very existence of the blog you are currently reading, because Heather and I could not understand why the poster was so bad, and then things…escalated. And here we are. (PS: Looking back, there were A LOT of people in that movie who are now way more successful: Evan Peters! Brie Larson! Summer Glau as “Ticket Girl!”)  All that goes to say, basically, thank you, Scout Taylor-Compton. I totally owe you one.

IVY Film Innovator Awards, Presented By Cadillac

I will start repaying you by kindly noting that I think you’re wearing two dresses here, and, unfortunately, they hate each other.

[Photo: Getty]


What the Fug: Kate Mara in Dior

Well, we can’t see her REAL labia, obviously and thank God for that.

kate mara

But Dior worked really hard to make her a fabric replica. SHE IS A WALKING VALENTINE TO VAGINAL LIPS, y’all, and that dude behind her may never be the same.

* Oooh, apparently Dior is only taking credit for the top. In which case Dior should never, ever trust Team Mara with its tops again.

[Photo: Getty]


What the Fug: January Jones

I would criticize this for the visible bra…

january jones zimmermann

… but the thing is, the bra is the only part I like.

[Photo: Getty]


WTF (and yet Business As Usual): Jennifer Lopez in Bao Tranchi


jennifer lopez birthday celebration

“I have a plan, lovers. Shh. Hear me out. My talent show is ending next year and so I am going to go revitalize another big show: Lots of Kardashians or whatever. I will go in like a Category Lopez Hurricane and I will blow that Krispy person right out of there and take over the family and upgrade it, just like I did on the Idol thingIt makes sense, lovers. I do Kim better than Kim does Kim, I can show Kylie how to do Kim better than she is doing Kim. And I have proof it is meant to be. What proof is that, beautiful thigh hero of mine, you ask? Look: ‘Jennifer’ equals ‘if’ plus ‘Jenner.’ MATH DOES NOT LIE. I’M COMING, FAMILY.”

[Photo: Getty]


Fugs and Whats: The ‘Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No’ Premiere

Confession: I never watched Sharknado 2, so I’m obviously unable to watch this because I simply won’t be able to follow along. [I recapped the first one, FYI.] theHowever, this screening looked like a total late ’90s hoot, given that all manner of random people are in it — and yet, all my favorites from the cast list on IMDb were no-shows. No Steve Sanders, no Tara Reid, no Bo Derek (!!!WHAT!!!), no Malcolm In The Middle, no Mark Cuban (he plays the PRESIDENT, in what must also be a winking nod to his participation in Shark Tank), no Penn Jillette. NADA. Kendra Wilkinson would come to the opening of an eye if it meant a mention in Us Weekly, and even SHE isn’t there. Chris Kirkpatrick ALSO said “Bye Bye Bye.” (ZING.) Thank God plenty of other people had nothing to do tonight or else this Sharknado would be a Sharkdrizzle. (DOUBLE ZING. I’ll show myself out.)

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]