Fug File: WTF

What the Fug: Constance Jablonski


Constance Jablonski

The curtain’s up. Are we waiting for tiny actors to perform a musical between her feet? If Lin-Manuel Miranda has invented Tiny Hamilton, he is an even mightier genius than previously thought. I can’t wait to see the likes of Mr. Miniranda, Lesslie Odom, Renee Elise Goldsbaby, Phililliputian Soo, Okierietoy Onadowee, and of course, Daveed Biggs. Because he can never be anything but supersize.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


What the Fug: Various Kardashians

After Jessica declared The Waning of the Sheers yesterday, Kim went to a Vogue thing in London wearing another of her classics. So I’m leading with Kourtney, because I don’t want the awfulness of this garment to get lost in her sister’s misdeeds.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


What the Fug: Gwen Stefani at the Billboard Music Awards

This all looks very Arthurian to me.

Gwen Stefani

Like, the King of Country — or an aspiring one, anyway — is just hanging out, minding his own beeswax, when suddenly the Lady of the Lake slithers over to him and proffers an all-powerful tool which he can use to conquer the world. The tool here being her celebrity, and the world being the Internet and every magazine, up to and including all the ones that believe she is pregnant with his miracle baby.

And what is up with her makeup?

2016 Billboard Music Awards - Show

Like, where is Gwen Stefani’s essence of Gwen Stefani? Why has she turned herself into an anonymous piece of tinsel draped on Blake’s suit? You are a strong and successful female artist, Gwen, besides which you are SUPER FAMOUS and — if you want to get competitive about it — you were here first. Make HIM be YOUR tinsel.

[Photos: Getty]



Cannes WTF: Chanel Iman at the amfAR Gala

Whoops. Looks like Eve fell for another one of Adam’s practical jokes while she was wandering through Eden looking for snacks.

[Photos> Getty, Fame/Flynet]


Cannes Fugs and Fabs: More of Kristen Stewart in Chanel

Kristen seemed to be in a playful mood at this one, so I’ve decided she’s doing that subtle-but-not-subtle middle finger thing at one of the photographers.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


What the Fug: Chloe Grace Moretz in Alexander McQueen

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA. Chloe Grace Moretz got you a shitstorm for your special day.

[Photos: Getty]


Cannes WTF Yay: Noted Kook Elena Lenina

Elena Lenina’s kookery is, admittedly, chiefly only “noted” in Cannes, because I’ve never seen her anywhere else. But she packs enough wallop there to last a whole year, for sure.

Elena Lenina

And this year, it’s not only antlers, but antlers that are HOLDING UP PART OF HER TRAIN. Her headpiece is also a dress-wrangler. If the Eurovision Song Contest could be distilled into one person, it would be this one.

[Photo: Getty]