Fug File: WTF

WTF: Keira Knightley in Delpozo


One on hand, this is crazy. On the other hand, she is being adorable throughout this press tour.

Keira-Knightley (1)

She looks like if Mrs Roper won the Lottery and invested in some REALLY high-class caftans. They’re glamorous and glorious and high-fashion and…still a wacky caftan. But I can’t really be too peevish with someone who has clearly popped out for her Q&A saying, “HI GUYS I’M IN A CAFTAN!”

It’s almost MORE amusing when she’s seated:

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What the Fug: Jennifer Lopez in Versace


“HOLA LOVERS.”

Jennifer Lopez at Versace show, July 2014

“Am I wearing pants, you say? No. Because I am the girl who is down to earth, not that Garment person who sucked Funfleck into a vortex of boo, and who selfishly wears TWO LEGS. I do not NEED two of everything when people are starving in wherever. So no, these are not pants. They are PANT. Pantalones? No. Pantalone. Tee hee. Get it? Pant alone?!?!? But you already knew I am a poet, lovers, from when I wrote I Luh Ya Papi, which I am going to suggest to be the new national anthem, lovers, because it is all about the sex, and guns, and I put it down for a brother like you // Give it to you right in the car, that’s you. Lovers, if you listen to The Star-Sparkly Thing, you will hear that it is also about those things — rockets glaring red, bursting bombs, and ramparts, come ON, lovers, tell me you knew! — and so I just want to make America newer and then also hear myself every time those swimmers in tiny pants win gold medals. Maybe THEY should wear PANT also. But no, there is no one who can PANT like the Lopez. Stand there and look at me and try not to unbuckle my hip with your eyes. It is not possible. See you on the medal stand, lovers.”

[Photo: Splash]

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WTF, Again: Steven Tyler


In the immortal words of Joey Lawrence: whoa.

Steven Tyler Aerosmith

Which do we think will happen first: Johnny Depp plays Steven Tyler, or Johnny Depp turns INTO Stephen Tyler?

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

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Fugformers: Li Bingbing in Giambattista Valli


Between this and her slew of looks the other day… I mean, Fug Madness campaigns have been waged with less, y’all.

Li Bingbing Transformers premiere

When this was on the runway, I noted that it really hurt my feelings, and it’s still true. She looks like when we would play Fashion Plates and try to use all three pieces to assemble the dumbest combination. Which… I mean, the word fashion is really perfunctory at best, there, y’all. They’re not called Idea Plates. Or Plates of Yes. Let’s not look to them for lessons.

[Photo: Splash]

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WTF: Li BingBing in Erdem at the Transformers Premiere


Regular readers know I am generally enamored of Erdem (although the original version of this, uh, number was from a collection that Style.com called “overwhelmed by sadness,” which, aptly, is totally how I feel right now).  But this may have proved, finally, and beyond a shadow of a doubt, that nothing can save a sheer hotpants jumpsuit. Sheer Hotpants Jumpsuit is the name of my first album, though, and it’s a really firecracker of a listen, you guys.

The best part is, THERE’S SO MUCH MORE CRAZY where this came from. JOIN ME.

[Photo: Getty, PacCoastNews]

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WTF: Steven Tyler


There is something hilariously right about the fact that he’s wearing this to a Stella McCartney party:

Steven-Tyler-Stella-McCartney

I feel like this is what Stella would come up with if someone asked her to costume a hip, new reboot of The Last Supper.

[Photo: Splash]

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