Fug File: Fugs

Fuggy and the Pussycats

It has been a banner week for jumpsuits. First, Greta Gerwig wore that awful Stella McCartney thing, then Margot Robbie was in a red abomination, and now Rosario Dawson has gotten into the game:

It’s pleated AND wrinkled AND overcomplicated AND boring AND strangely fitting AND unhemmed. WHY is she fighting The Pretty so hard? Is The Pretty that argumentative and unpleasant? Help me understand.

[Photos: Getty]


Fugs and Fines: Leslie Mann, Kate Upton, and Cameron Diaz

After an outing wherein these three comported themselves fairly admirably, sartorially speaking, this is one big collective pile of Ugh:

Cameron actually looks great, I think — cute dress, good shoes, well-accessorized, good lipstick — but she’s wearing basically the exact same thing. I kind of hope she goes through this entire trip wearing just long-sleeved black mini-dresses to f with us all.  Kate Upton needs to set those shoes on fire — your dress is WHITE. YOU HAVE SO MANY OPTIONS. LOOK ALIVE, FOOL — and although she looks, objectively, pretty good, I wish she had worn some lipstick.

And then there’s Leslie. Oh, Leslie Mann. I almost always like what you wear. And that is why I am sad that you are wearing the dress version of Sally Draper’s least favorite car coat, at least one size too big for you. Even the pattern is all janky at the bottom. It looks sad and it makes me sad and it’s FRIDAY. I don’t want to be sad. Help me not to be so sad.

[Photo: WENN]


Fab and then Feh: Shailene Woodley in Donna Karan Atelier at the Divergent Madrid Premiere

This dress is quite pretty  — and she looks nice in it, the color is great, and I covet that cuff bracelet — but she’s starting to look a little bit like she’s over this endless press tour:

Not in a bratty way, just in a sort of gazed over way, and, in the following photo, in a sartorial way:

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Fug of Wall Street: Margot Robbie in Paper London

It’s a jumpsuit parade today, which is one of the saddest kinds of parades there is.

If you have seen Wolf of Wall Street, you know every inch of Margot Robbie’s figure; if you haven’t, you can still probably imagine the truth, which is that her body is basically perfect. So the sins of this jumpsuit are egregious and varied. It’s mangling her chest, dropping her crotch, swelling her groin, and eating her feet. It’s the sartorial equivalent of handing a lovely classic painting to Shia LaBeouf and asking him to write poetry all over it: nothing but trouble.

[Photo: Getty]


How I Met Your Fug: Greta Gerwig in Stella McCartney

I’m not sure the wrap at the waist was ever going to be incredibly flattering.

But the jumpsuit portion of the evening isn’t helping matters. The fabric itself is pretty, like wintry confetti or something — I alternately see snowflakes, and Brachs peppermints — but I keep wishing it ended in a skirt, because this whole thing is making a balloon out of her lower half, and sadly not the kind we can deflate with a pinprick (and now that I know it’s Stella, I’m not surprised; it DID kind of remind me of a nicer version of K.Stew’s labia pants). I wish it were a skirt of some ilk. I wish I could liberate her shoes from this bad dream. And I wish her makeup game weren’t so problematic. I wish for so many things, all of which would require a Life TiVo to rewind live action and redo things; sadly no one has invented that yet.

[Photo: Getty]


Fugoah: Jennifer Connelly in McQueen

I was going to put this up to a vote:

Then I read what the rock she’s standing next to had to say about it, and realized I totally agreed.

[Photo: Getty]