47I like to think that Tim is sidling up behind her and saying, “If I’d known you were going to wear that color, I would have worn all denim and we could have done our best Britney and Justin.”
I mean, it’s NOT denim. But I THOUGHT it was. And that’s almost as bad.
[Photo: Getty]
24It has been a banner week for jumpsuits. First, Greta Gerwig wore that awful Stella McCartney thing, then Margot Robbie was in a red abomination, and now Rosario Dawson has gotten into the game:
It’s pleated AND wrinkled AND overcomplicated AND boring AND strangely fitting AND unhemmed. WHY is she fighting The Pretty so hard? Is The Pretty that argumentative and unpleasant? Help me understand.
[Photos: Getty]
42After an outing wherein these three comported themselves fairly admirably, sartorially speaking, this is one big collective pile of Ugh:
Cameron actually looks great, I think — cute dress, good shoes, well-accessorized, good lipstick — but she’s wearing basically the exact same thing. I kind of hope she goes through this entire trip wearing just long-sleeved black mini-dresses to f with us all. Kate Upton needs to set those shoes on fire — your dress is WHITE. YOU HAVE SO MANY OPTIONS. LOOK ALIVE, FOOL — and although she looks, objectively, pretty good, I wish she had worn some lipstick.
And then there’s Leslie. Oh, Leslie Mann. I almost always like what you wear. And that is why I am sad that you are wearing the dress version of Sally Draper’s least favorite car coat, at least one size too big for you. Even the pattern is all janky at the bottom. It looks sad and it makes me sad and it’s FRIDAY. I don’t want to be sad. Help me not to be so sad.
[Photo: WENN]
It’s a jumpsuit parade today, which is one of the saddest kinds of parades there is.
If you have seen Wolf of Wall Street, you know every inch of Margot Robbie’s figure; if you haven’t, you can still probably imagine the truth, which is that her body is basically perfect. So the sins of this jumpsuit are egregious and varied. It’s mangling her chest, dropping her crotch, swelling her groin, and eating her feet. It’s the sartorial equivalent of handing a lovely classic painting to Shia LaBeouf and asking him to write poetry all over it: nothing but trouble.
[Photo: Getty]
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Fuggle Women: Winona Ryder at Screening of ‘Turks and Caicos’
OH WINONA. I want so much more for you than this! Even when you were having all your Troubles with the shop-lifting and the prescription drugs (sidenote: a friend of mine went to the same doctor as Winona for years, and when the news broke that said doc was writing Wino many many a prescription she didn’t need, said Friend was all, “WELL, there is a REASON we all call him Dr. Feelgood”), I still wanted good things for you! You are so snarky in Beetlejuice and so lovely in Little Women (hers is my FAVORITE Little Women, although Bale is SO dreamy as Laurie that I get even MORE ENRAGED WHEN HE ENDS UP WITH THAT BOOK BURNER AMY MARCH RAGE) and so very in Heathers. I want you to have a smashing wonderful comeback and to show up places looking amazing:
THIS is not how I imagined that trend beginning!
[Photo: Getty Images]
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