Art of Elysium Fug Carpet: Eva Amurri Martino


All hail the return of the Scrolldown Fug:

Doesn’t this look so promising? But, to quote Farm Boy: Get used to disappointment.

I don’t understand why SO MUCH had to start happening at the bottom of this thing. Sheerness! Paneling! Beading! Toaster waffles! Wait, one of those isn’t involved. But still: Not everything needs to be shoved onto everything. This applies to sandwiches AND dresses.

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Comments (31):

  1. MG
    0

    Toaster waffles might have come into play. That is Captain Crunch Yellow; I’d stake my life on it.

  2. Jen S 2.0
    0

    Eh, the bottom looks about as I expected based on the top; there is evidence of patterning and beading and paneling and omelettes and a carving station up there, so I wasn’t surprised when the bottom went around the bend. She is giving good face, but the dress is a no.

  3. Carol
    0

    People of Earth! Resistance is futile!

  4. Robin
    0

    At least her hair is enviably gorgeous.

  5. Ranee Singleton
    0

    And a fishtail hem to boot.

  6. Carrie
    0

    But her head looks so good. Sigh.

  7. Sarah
    0

    yes… I was looking for the toaster waffles!

    TOO gullible this evening :D

  8. erin
    0

    Man, she’s pretty. I actually think she’s making the top half (in the first picture) of the dress work against all odds. But the rest of it–hot mess. I’ll just keep the first picture, thanks.

    • Ailatan
      0

      I agree, it just the nearness to the face that makes it work. She won the genetic lottery.

  9. TaraMisu
    0

    This is fugly. From a distance that yellow material looks like a chair my grandma had back in the 70′s….. it smelled. AND CAN WE BE DONE WITH THE SHEER!!! Pardon my caps.

    • Aphy
      0

      Your caps are absolutely necessary, as some people just will not listen to our pleas. Sheerness must end now!

  10. BrownEyedBetty
    0

    That’s a whole lotta FUG. And she needs a consult from Salma Hayek’s people about how to properly support the rack she’s got there. Hoo-eeee.

  11. Fifie
    0

    She looks like Dita Von Teese’s little sister.

  12. SueRob
    0

    It is not As I Wish.

  13. Gigi
    0

    I just watched a video on how to make fried chicken before coming onto this site…toaster waffles, fried chicken and maple syrup…I can’t fit into any of these dresses, so let’s just eat!

  14. becca
    0

    okay, i know this is OT, but her boobs are just not fair.

    • Christy
      0

      Has that bosom always been so ample?
      I hate this dress, but maybe it’s working for her if it’s making me REALLY see her bubs for the first time.

      • Christy
        0

        Yep. After a quick jump to Google Image Search, I can safely say that homegirl is stacked and I never noticed it until today. I’m somewhat ashamed of myself.

      • Az
        0

        She comes by it genetically. Her mom has a fantastic rack to this day.

  15. Nancy
    0

    INCONCEIVABLE!!!

  16. Andrew S.
    0

    eh – it’s the yellow I dislike. Had that portion been in sparkly black, or even better – sparkling silver – I would give it a pass.

  17. Amanda
    0

    For me, this was a scrolldown fug as soon as I scrolled down after her face.

  18. witjunkie
    0

    Hail!

  19. rb
    0

    Eva Amurri is exquisite, but that dress is not worthy of her.

    I was VERY confused by her recent guest turn on Jimmy Fallon’s atrocious comedy “Men With Kids” http://www.evaamurri.com/2012/09/guys-with-kids-video-clip.html

    Almost as confused as I was about why I was watching it. Obviously the fault lies with the great Tempestt Bledsoe, who was awkwardly wonderful on Fallon with ex-dad Dr. Cosby: http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/video/tempestt-bledsoe-part-1-1413/1428014/

  20. exquisite red
    0

    It should be impossible to find anything that makes her look less than perfect. Yet here we are.

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    0

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  22. Andrea Karim
    0

    Dread Pirate Roberts. Not Farmboy.

  23. Simone
    0

    I love you for the Princess Bride reference

  24. Remy C.
    0

    That dress cut just below the knee would have been killer, no doubt, but let’s face it, she can do no wrong. We can’t wait to see her shine in a strong movie role again, someone out there please listen…