A ‘Welcome Back’ Squintrospectfug: Chad Michael Murray


In honor of The Squint’s appearance in the One Tree Hill season 9 (!!) trailer, in which his limp long locks are a point of tremendous hilarity in an otherwise drama-filled clip (Dan Scott looks particularly murderous), we’ve decided to take a loving look back at some of CMM’s best coifs and facial expressions. You may want to study them, because the next time you watch a stoned dog eat your hated father’s would-be-transplanted heart, you will want to reach for the right reaction. Also: bonus Lohan.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (46):

  1. Kaitlyn in Bookland
    0

    I love this so much. I cannot wait for Season 9. He is almost unrecognizable in the recent pictures.

  2. marie
    0

    omigosh, i’ve forgotten how pretty hildary duff was..skinny doesnt really suit her

  3. Maria
    0

    I was madly in love with him when A Cinderella Story came out. And Freaky Friday…

  4. Caity Rose
    0

    His buzzed hair was definitely my favorite look.

  5. yeahandalso
    0

    1) I DO NOT want him back on One Tree Hill (not that I’ll watch) because Lucas and Peyton drove off into the sunset to be happy and together and I don’t want to imagine another ending for Peyton who was always my fave

    2) Like Justin Timberlake, he looks best clean shaved and with a buzzed head

    3) In pic 20 he is trying REALLY HARD to be David Beckham

  6. yeahandalso
    0

    p.s. Pic 1 is not from Dawson’s Creek, in the creek his hair was super frizzy, it stuck out perfectly straight in every direction. Also I hated on that show how they made it so that he was a sleaze who cheated on Jen, but then Joey’s perfect beauty and old soul transformed him…blah blah barf

  7. Heather
    0

    Per the date and his IMDb page, it’s from the time Dawson’s Creek was airing. That’s all I meant.

    • yeahandalso
      0

      Oh OK….I was gunna say I know we played the Dawson’s Creek drinking game a lot, but I was sober enough to remember the horrors on his head.

  8. Jenna Horko
    0

    Oy, how I loathe CMM. “Freaky Friday” & “Cinderella Story” were short respites, but apart from that, his characters tend to be douches (from Gilmore Girls to Dawson’s Creek to, quite frankly, his OTH character). Combine that with his real-life douchiness, he’s been crowned King Douche in my mind for ages… And looking at the slideshow, even his looks support that title. Please just never taint my tv screen with your presence again, CMM.

  9. street chandeliers
    0
  10. Jill
    0

    I’ve never watched a single episode of One Tree Hill, but I do love the clip of the dog eating some dude’s heart that you post sometimes. Mayhaps I should add this to the Netflix cue?

  11. Megan
    0

    Ever noticed he totally looks like Taylor Hanson with the long hair? Like, Hanson today, not 90s Hanson. Dead ringer.

  12. sarah
    0

    Ugh, and I used to be attracted to him. Now I’m going to go recall all my questionable choices in high school…

  13. Stefanie
    0

    I think he’s trying to smize….

    • Chris
      0

      That implies CMM can move the muscles around his eyes, and – honestly – would he be CMM if he wasn’t squinting?

  14. Robyn
    0

    I cannot believe that is related to my sweet Sean Murray on NCIS.

    • Becca
      0

      Wait, actually? This hurts my soul. Although I’m glad I’m not the only one mildly in love with mcgee.

    • Kate
      0

      Really? I didn’t know that.

    • Kate
      0

      Actually, I think you’re mistaken. IMDB shows that Sean Murray has a brother, Chad W. Murray, who was in an episode of NCIS. CMM’s IMDB makes no mention of Sean Murray.

    • lori
      0

      I stopped watching OTH after Lucas and Peyton left. This actually wasn’t by design; I missed the first few episodes of the next season and then gave up. I’m vaguely curious about how Ole Squinty will be added back in; I might just have to watch.

      Really, though, there were only 3 good things about the post-high school eps (4 if you count K Fed’s appearance as King Douchelord): Dan’s heart getting eaten, Kate Voegele, and Matt Nathanson (I googled the song of his they used, looked him up, and fell utterly in love with his music).

  15. Sajorina
    0

    Praying Chad Pic FOR THE WIN!!! Pic #15 is totally “Chad impersonates Nick Carter of the Back Street Boys” & Pic #20 is all “I want to play David Beckam in the biopic, Hollywood” while “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds plays in the background!

  16. Kendra
    0

    Not aware that he wrote a book. Hm. Anyone read it? Worth giving into my curiosity for?

  17. vandalfan
    0

    Hats simply add to his douch-lord-nosity.

  18. Paige
    0

    Not related … that is Chad W. Murray the producer. NCIS love remains intact.

  19. TonyG
    0

    If CMM is the poor man’s Grant, I definitely want to meet Grant! ;)

  20. Miranda
    0

    Listen. I am not…I am NOT trying to put them on the same level. But in the last photo, does he not look at least a little like Becks? Maybe I am getting my squinty blonds confused.

    • jenny
      0

      No, I had the same thought…then I wondered whether he’s been trying for Becks and failing miserably for a while now. He’s like a wimpy poser Becks.

  21. Cora
    0

    Is anybody else convinced, at this point, that he’s the love child of Daryl Hall and Christian Slater? Or am I alone?

  22. Amanda
    0

    I’m p sure that he is stoned in just about all those pictures.

  23. Kate
    0

    I know I’m alone, but I kind of love him. He’s still with Random Teen Fiancee, and I think it’s adorable how he’s trying so hard to overcome the douche reputation on Twitter. He always ends tweets with ‘Have the best day.’ Besides, no one squints like CMM!

  24. Carolina Girl
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    I haven’t seen the word SNOOD in print since I stopped reading cheesey romance novels in the 8th grade. Thanks for the post Christmas laugh, Fug Girls. After spending so much time with my family, I needed it.

  25. Chrissi
    0

    I can’t be the only person that thinks that he is a young David Caruso? Like, one day he’ll be whipping off his sunglasses and saying vaguely idiotic puns in inappropriate situations?

    • Libby
      0

      That is hilarious – I can totally see that!

      (If you really hate David Caruso, then you have to hear Rob Zombie recount how awful it was to direct a CSI: Miami episode, and how guest star Malcom McDowell went out of his way to aggravate Caruso – starts at 4:00min mark: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdHDHdLSpaE)

  26. Teresa
    0

    I’m probably a bonehead for not knowing but who is the girl in this first pic?

  27. Molly
    0

    Based on the last photo, he thinks he’s David Beckham. To which I say, game ON.

  28. mary lou bethune
    0

    What is wrong with his nose? Too flat by half.

  29. lori
    0

    My comment totally ended up in the wrong place, so I’m reposting.

    I stopped watching OTH after Lucas and Peyton left. This actually wasn’t by design; I missed the first few episodes of the next season and then gave up. I’m vaguely curious about how Ole Squinty will be added back in; I might just have to watch.

    Really, though, there were only 3 good things about the post-high school eps (4 if you count K Fed’s appearance as King Douchelord): Dan’s heart getting eaten, Kate Voegele, and Matt Nathanson (I googled the song of his they used, looked him up, and fell utterly in love with his music).

  30. Squirrel!
    0

    I’ve never seen OTH, but I’ll give CMM credit for knowing where Canada is. Why? Because he’s from my hometown, a suburb of Buffalo, N.Y. Sample conversation from my youth: “I’m bored. What do you want to do?” “I dunno, let’s drive to Canada.”

  31. Alena
    0

    I’m sorry to admit that I actually once liked this guy. When he was on Gilmore Girls I had quite the crush on him. But from OTH on….. ick. And after what he did to poor Sophia Bush, double ick. Looking back at these photos, I actually don’t find him all that attractive. At all.

  32. Sandra
    0

    Is he physically capable of opening his eyes? ‘Cause if he’s not, I won’t hate on him. Since we don’t hate on people for things they can’t do anything about. If, on the other hand, he does it because he thinks he looks cool then he needs to be made to suffer accordingly.

  33. Laura
    0

    Did you guys see that CMM was in Puff Daddy’s new Ciroc Vodka commercial? It took the video to new levels of douchiness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nXyrfl3FZg&feature=pyv

  34. Sarah L.
    0

    I once saw CMM in a Starbuck s in Buffalo, NY with the teenager (I thought sister) he was dating at the time. He drove a yellow Hummer with “CMSqard” on the license plate. I know this is a little stalky, but we wanted to get a photo of him for my friend’s sister, so we sat in our car and waited for him to come out. Which he wouldn’t do because he realized we were waiting for him. Which I found extremely irritating because his YELLOW HUMMER ADVERTISED ITS OWNER. And I’ve been hating on him ever since.