Fug File: Ringer

Fug the Show: Ringer, Season (and Series?) Finale

I am going to miss this show if it gets cancelled, which everyone tells me is super likely even though I think bitches be crazy if they take SMG off the air, ratings be damned — and it’s not like Gossip Girl is so gold-plated on that front, y’all, plus those actors look so bored it’s like watching an hour of sleepwalking. On this show everyone is actually selling the hell out of it every week. SMG is SO GOOD at what she does — very few people can be, at any given moment and sometimes all in one episode, believably sympathetic, snarky, emotional, nasty, drug-addled, trashy, and Buffy-punchingly awesome, much less while doing it in clothes that don’t fit.¬†Zoey Deutch really needs to find her way onto another CW series, maybe as a Vampire Diaries sassbag, because she is impressive at all that stuff as well. The delicious Mr. Ioan Gruffudd should, say, pop by Revenge and gruff up Emily’s udd and make ffudd out of her plans, OR come over every day and be stern with me every time I reach for one Diet Coke too many. And Andrea Roth just needs to come to my house and dress like a different exotic animal every week, although frankly, if she swung by Revenge and went smirk-to-smirk with Madeleine Stowe, I wouldn’t be mad at her for blowing me off.

Anyway. Was it a satisfying ending? In some ways, not in others, but I think they may have done what they needed to do. But I’ll talk about that on the last slide so as not to spoil you folks who are currently squeezing your eyes shut and saying, “It’s still on my DVR LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU.”


Fug the Show: Ringer, The Penultimate Episode

Tonight is the Ringer finale, possibly FOREVER, so this is one of the last chances on GFY to come forth and bask in the House of Gruffuddor (unless he shows up next on, say, 90210, which fortunately for him seems very unlikely). Since this entire hour took place the same day as the end of the previous episode, almost nobody changed clothes, but the plot recap ought to be worth it simply because there was a LOT of screaming and runny mascara and wine. Just the way God intended.


Fug the Show: Ringer, episode 20

Man, the universe was against me on this one: First, the director of Cruel Intentions did this episode, and they did NOT put Ronald in it, even for a single second, even in the background teaching a panting schoolgirl how to bow her cello in both euphemistic and non-euphemistic ways. Second, DirecTV and Tribune didn’t settle their little financial squabble in time, so our CW station was yanked and I was forced to watch online, which I hate doing because I’m an old crotchety crone and I spent far too much time on my computer as it is. THEN, in the middle of watching it online, the CW ran a very long and revealing and spoilery promo for tonight’s episode, which on a twisty show like Ringer seems like an especially dumb thing to do. LE SIGH.

Fortunately, it all ended happily, because there was another moment at the end of the episode that’s in the spirit of the Ringer I deeply love. It involves a letter opener. And it rules. Also: a leopard poncho.


Fug the Show: Ringer, episode 19

So, what does a lady wear when she’s trying to purr about the erotic allure of your green energy initiatives? A surprisingly high-necked shirt, actually. Seems like a misfire, no? Also: BLOOD, and more frothy gruffudding than one slide can ably contain.


Fug the Show: Ringer, episode 18

To get you all warmed up for tonight’s new Ringer, I present an episode in which we get to see Hot Malcolm’s refreshingly un-hot — and thus, relateable — driver’s licence photo, and what Ioan looks like in a hospital gown. It’s like he’s been swallowed by the very pocket squares he used to stuff into his breast pockets.


Fug the Show: Ringer, episode 17

In which the most dramatically laughable thing anyone wears the entire hour is this green screen.