Band name alert: Giant Vaginal Mustache
Also, even if she’s wearing something “fine” instead of “foiiiiiiine,” don’t get into a dress-off with Charlize.
Finally, Hemsworth’s hair is a lovely shade of …. lemon? Surely for a role, but … still. Lemon. Rooted lemon.
Wow. Those are two very attractive women with hideous dresses. I totally agree, though, Kristin’s is so insane that Charlize looks sensible by comparison.
Also, this trio is like the bizarro-world Hunger Games trio: tallish man, one tiny leading actress, one super tall leading actress.
two gorgeous woman made to look awful. the designers of those dresses should have their designing licenses suspended and have to spend time in lockup with a couple of pairs of uggs and a few muffin tops.
too right! what possesses them to wear those hideous dresses?
I thought we were all in agreement that Marchesa must be stopped. What’s happened to that effort?
Mold. That marchesa looks like fractal mold. Or maybe lichen. Gag.
Yes. Marchesa needs to be banned. The sheer trend is awful.
Gah. Both dresses are awful. It DOES look like a vaginal mustache. I still just can’t get on the K-stew bandwagon. I just can’t.
I’m with you, Mo. The idea of their movie that KStew is a threat to Charlize Theron’s beauty? Puh-leeease. CT is stunning. Even in a ridiculous sheer grabbed off the curtain rod and wrapped over her underwear.
I’m actually not always against the sheer trend, in principle, though it is rare that I think it’s actually executed well. I think Charlize’s dress could be pretty, if it weren’t so very boxy – but as it is, it’s very unflattering. Her makeup is gorgeous, though!
K-Stew… OMG, no. No, no no nonono!!! Why did Marchesa put that random gross ruffle on her hips! The whole dress looks like a homemade Halloween costume.
Maybe it’s me, I know I have weird texture issues in which the most normal things sometimes gross me out, but KStew’s dress is seriously making me want to throw up! Ewwww!
It looks like she took a bunch of Rogaine by accident or that her next film is going to be about werewolves and she’s trying on the prosthetics.
What? This is like an underpants parade. Nothing about either of those dresses is any good. And you know what? I don’t like Hemsworth’s shiny black shirt. If he had to wear a shiny black shirt, he should have done up one more button. I think what I’m saying here is it would have been better for us all if he’d just ditched the shirt.
Yay! Thank you for cracking me up this fine Tuesday morning.
i’d like to attend the underpants parade if it’s not to late to RSVP.
sorry “too late to RSVP”
Oh, Kristen! WHITE panties? You’re not!
Was this a situation where she thought to herself, “I sure don’t want anyone SPECULATING on the INTERNET that I’m not wearing underwear!”? Because if so, it was not well thought out.
I actually don’t hate the dress on her. It’s revealing, but not in a particularly sexy way, and she’s small enough on top that it doesn’t look rude. It does have more than a taste of Formal Ice Dancer about it, though.
When I saw these last night, I was hoping you would talk about them. I can’t believe they both wore crazy Bellatrix leg curtain dresses!!!!
On the surface, I agree, Charlize’s dress is less fug – but the WAY VISIBLE granny panties are neither Kristen’s vag ruffle, so it’s a draw as far as I’m concerned. (And the nude granny panties on the runway version were just as bad. Ugh.)
That said there were some great pictures of the two of them together that looked like they genuinely like each other, which is fun.
Hmmm… that’s supposed to be “neither greater than nor less than Kristen’s vag ruffle” but I guess it read my short form as html code and bahleeted it.
and why does Charlize look like Kiki in that last photo??
Kristen’s dress looks like a mold outbreak.
And there are leggings attached to this thing. Looks like she’s shedding skin.
OMG! I was thinking that EXACT thing! To me it looked like she hadn’t bathed in a while (which is plausible considering it’s K.Stew) and had begun to sprout a virulent strain of mold from her armpits. Not the look most Hollywood starlets would covet, methinks.
mold… or how ursula would have dressed if she had taken over ariel’s body instead of her voice in the little mermaid.
Count me in on the mold outbreak front. That or a particularly egregious skin disease. Looking at that dress actually makes me physically uncomfortable.
I was OK with Charlize’s dress until I saw the full length shot and the granny pants. I cannot for the life of me understand what would make a beautiful woman WANT to expose granny pants.
Black mold. That was exactly my first thought as well. Ick. Which is a shame, because KStew really IS pretty. So is Charlize. They really did bring the whackitude with these dresses, didn’t they? Good thing their heads are so beautiful.
And FYI, I heard an entertainment reporter on the news this morning say that this movie is really good. At first I thought it just looked like a really pretty, albeit crazy, music video, but now I have hope that this will be worth seeing for something besides the visuals.
Why isn’t he wearing a belt? What is with this beltless craze?
Also: KStew is the last person on earth I would have thought would fall victim to Marchesa delirium. It’s a shame because she/her makeup look incredible.
I actually don’t like her hair and make-up either. She looks kind of clammy and ill to me, complete with the sweaty hairline I get when I have the flu.
Charlize looks like she is wearing a bathing suit with a very fancy cover-up. AND it cuts off her endlessly long legs. She should SUE.
At least Kristen’s dress looks like some design effort was made. It’s horrible (especially the twee cheerleading skirt), but something is going on. It’s not just sheers over a bathing suit.
Chris is a daddy already???? He’s already passed on those genes to posterity? Well done sir. And he can rock a widow’s peak hairline. Plus, and this is a sad state on young stars, he looks stunningly CLEAN. Like he’s been scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. It’s rather nice.
OH my god. Kristen: Gothic Psoriasis. Charlize: Showgirl Funeralwear Spanx.
Gothic Psoriasis may be the funniest thing I’ll read all day. Also — decent band name.
Please, just NO! I can’t believe there was no figure-skating comment what with all the lace and see-through fabric on K-Stew. GO AWAY MARCHESA!!! Please it’s just so FUG
1. Charlize has had a baby for, what? Twelve days? She’s not really doing the cabin-fever bit, is she?
2. That man? Is hot? That….man…with the…hair business up top? That guy? Smarmy McHalfasleep? Shudder.
3. I basically like Kristen. I’m sure she’s regretting this dress. It’s not bad up top?? It’s a disease up top.
smarmy McHalfasleep made me snorfle. I saw him in Avengers and just…could not get it up for him. My friend was squeeing over him and I was just holding in my yawn.
It’s like a black mold eating her skin and spreading itself all over her body. And the hair needs a good washing. Letting it fly about doesn’t work well on her. I wish she would realize that.
That is exactly what I thought!
Both of these dresses should now be burned. I just realized there is more than one Hemsworth. Huh.
Yeah, I was late to that party, too.
There’s three of them, I think!
Can we please stop with the leg curtains, they flatter absolutely no one and make the dress look half finished.
Wow…those dresses are….yikes.
Ps. How is it possible that Chris Hemsworth didn’t appear shirtless once in Avengers. It just seems unfair to have the guy work out that much for the roll and than not let him show it off. Right?
totally! went to see the avengers just to catch a sight of da man without shirt…sadly disappointed… anyways he’s the prettiest thing under the sun in the last 50 years… at least… and what a voice too!!!!!!!!! sigh… whatever. ;-)’
And you know, blond beefcake does NOT do it for me. So why on earth does Chris Hemsworth do it for me so much???
The Hems = looks so cool
Charlize = eh, she at least looks modelly with nice hair/makeup even though it looks like she’s wearing a black beach coverup (the shot where she’s like “I need my purse holder” was pretty funny)
Kristen = *sigh* It looks like she got attacked by a lace doily fungus that’s eventually going to choke her to death (and white knickers? really? her stylist needs to spend time in that dungeon with uggs and muffin tops). At least we got a pretty smile from her in one picture.
Ok, you know my girl crush on KStew, but that dress is a bad news CAT scan. UGH.
Charlize looks awful too, what the hell?
These just aren’t flattering and so much sheer just looks tacky, tacky, tacky. I don’t expect women to dress like sister wives, but would it kill them put on something more substantial than mosquito netting over their undies?
Totally on board with the “K. Stew looks moldy” school of thought. My first notion was gangrene, but mold is certainly a strong contender. Charlize’s dress is just stupid, though it is indeed less wretched than Kristen’s. The guy, um, well, he kinda looks like a younger, more muscular Fabio. And believe me, that is not a compliment.
These dresses are utterly irredeemably horrible. Someone at the studio must have chosen them, maybe thinking pairing a short little woman and a tall woman in similar dresses would be… well, can’t imagine what, but, something. I bet both women burst in to either tears or gales of laughter when they unwrapped them.
Dior: If you’re going to make a dress that is basically just underwear with some black sheer over top, at least make the underwear not have seams going so visibly in every direction.
Marchesa: it’s just mean to put a flat-chested woman in a dress that looks like some evil deep sea oil-spill fungus ate her boobs.
Tsk. I just hope these two poor women didn’t have to pay for these monstrosities.
Giant. Vaginal. Moustache. Thank you.
Kristen’s is possibly the worst dress ever. That is all.
Is anyone else noticing that Kirsten’s face seems a bit… zombified? Not genetically or anything, that girl is ‘foooine’ in every sense of the word, but I feel like her makeup stylist decided to slather on a bunch of shiny grey foundation which is making her look… seasick.
Also, that may possibly be the ugliest Marchesa I’ve ever seen. This shouldn’t be allowed to happen to people.
The negative space on K-Stew’s bodice looks like an alien doing gymnastics.
I am so confused by that.
I am so writing a novel about Georgina Chapman going insane and killing young starlets at movie premiers and award ceremonies using the dresses she designs.
Because let’s face it, every Marchesa dress looks like s torture contraption.
It will be called “Sew”
In all honesty, I hope this is true.
Yes, please be true. I would buy that book in a heartbeat.
Vaginal Mustache. Thank you, it’s all I can see now
You must show the back of K.Stew’s dress! It’s crazballs
Charlize: very pretty
Kristen’s looks like the B&W film version of Heidi Klum’s muscles costume.
And Charlize? Represent for us tall girls! (but wear a slip next time, hon…)
Two of the ugliest dresses I’ve seen. They both look like they’re dressed for Halloween.
In the last pic the dress makes Charlize look like her torso rotated fully and now her head is on backwards. Or maybe it’s just the way she’s standing with her elbows popped back …
Kristen’s dress could have been saved if the skirt was, well, present. I see layers of black lace or chiffon so it can be floaty. Charlize’s dress was odd but not hideous. And Chris? Who cares what he was wearing, he’s just *drool*.
Why does K-Stew always look like she’s never known the love of a shower and astringent. Yeah, the dress is hideous, but I can’t get over her greaseball look.
It never ceases to amaze me how a woman (and in this case, two women) would look good in a burlap sack would chose to wear things so hideously ugly. Do they want people to focus less on their beauty? I mean, come on. They surely have their choices of many, many dresses and THIS is what they get?
Is it just me, or is this basically black tulle over underwear? With some lacy bits thrown in for Kristen? I could come up with something better, and I know nothing about fashion. Or design.
K-Stew’s dress is unbelievably bad. It may be the ugliest thing I’ve seen on this site (and that includes the “dresses” some of the people-who-want-to-be-noticed-RIGHT-NOW wear).
Giant Vaginal Moustache–The newest bikini wax salon styling
The man in the tuxedo is the only one who gets off scot-free in that publicity line.
I know I am in the minority here, but I like Charlize’s dress, but that is because she can wear a paper bag and I would think it was gorgeous. KStew, on the other hand, is a world of no.
Also a world of no? KStew’s Snow White being more fair than Charlize’s witch. The only other person in that movie that can compete with Charlize for fairest is the Thor/ Huntsman aka the hotter Hemsworth brother.
What an ugly Marchesa dress.
Kristen’s excellent makeup and pretty face do not make up for that horrible mess below the neck. Her crotch has a Hitler mustache and her arms and chest are afflicted by the worst case of mildew I’ve ever seen. In comparison our view of Charlize’s black underpants seems almost reasonable.
And Kristen’s dress makes her legs look like overstuffed white sausages.
I hope she fires her stylist.
i look at k. stew and all i can think of is gozer the destructor, all gussied up. which means i’m now trying very hard NOT to think of the stay-puft marshmallow man. just in case…
I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there.
Apparently I’m the only person who loves BOTH of these dresses and thinks they’re insanely sexy. Maybe the rest of you are just old and boring
Charlize won this dress off!! I actually find it sexy on her. Kristens is one of the worst dresses I have seen ever.
I love that K-Stew is actually putting in the effort to play up the part of Girly for this movie. I don’t think I saw her feet but I’m pretty sure she’s even wearing a pretty heel!
So I give her a B for effort, A for the makeup, C for the actual dress and A+ for totally coordinating the crazy with Charlize.
There are pics from this premiere in which Kristen is wearing TRAINERS under the Marchesa dress. Not the after-party, the premiere. She’s signing autographs on the red carpet and everything.
Ladies, shade cloth for your lady bits is not a look that I can sign off on.
This has nothing to do with the clothes, Did any one see the guy in the bushes in slide 6. He’s all like ” Don’t mind me back here, just hanging out….. and there is no mustache on this side “
Call Charlize and have her give you lessons in proper posture. RIGHT F-ING NOW!!!!!
P.S. That dress is hideous.
Charlize has better shoes and posture than Kristen. Otherwise, ACK! to both dresses.
If only the bottom half of Charlize’s dress were not see through, I’d love it.
No, Charlize’s dress is hideous. They’re both hideous. They shouldn’t have left the house like that.
Is it just me, or does Hemsworth look like Alison Sweeney’s twin?? http://www.zap2it.com/tv/zap-biggestlosergetsfifthseason,0,2766764.story
I feel terrible saying this, but at first glance I thought Charlize was Katherine Heigl.
all i see is chris hemsworth <3
I actually like Charlize’s..she’s so beautiful and the dress would be really beautiful if it were less transparent. Kristen’s I hat, I dislike her whole ersona and rarely enjoy what she wears..she’s like the worst dresses spoiled brat ever, an it’s a pity because she had potential to be really pretty..
I’m sorry, I think Hemsworth is wearing far too much makeup. Of course a little powder for the camera is a good idea, but he’s looking nearly as spackled as Kristen Stewart here.
K Stewart’s gown (from a distance) appears to have two large black hands covering her breasts.