Snow White and the Fugsman, plus Well Played, Chris Hemsworth

This went to a weird place.

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Comments (89):

  1. KatKenSea

    Band name alert: Giant Vaginal Mustache

    Also, even if she’s wearing something “fine” instead of “foiiiiiiine,” don’t get into a dress-off with Charlize.

    Finally, Hemsworth’s hair is a lovely shade of …. lemon? Surely for a role, but … still. Lemon. Rooted lemon.

  2. gladly

    Wow. Those are two very attractive women with hideous dresses. I totally agree, though, Kristin’s is so insane that Charlize looks sensible by comparison.

    Also, this trio is like the bizarro-world Hunger Games trio: tallish man, one tiny leading actress, one super tall leading actress.

  3. liz

    two gorgeous woman made to look awful. the designers of those dresses should have their designing licenses suspended and have to spend time in lockup with a couple of pairs of uggs and a few muffin tops.

  4. Carol

    I thought we were all in agreement that Marchesa must be stopped. What’s happened to that effort?

  5. Mo

    Gah. Both dresses are awful. It DOES look like a vaginal mustache. I still just can’t get on the K-stew bandwagon. I just can’t.

    • Conchobara

      I’m with you, Mo. The idea of their movie that KStew is a threat to Charlize Theron’s beauty? Puh-leeease. CT is stunning. Even in a ridiculous sheer grabbed off the curtain rod and wrapped over her underwear.

  6. Jen

    I’m actually not always against the sheer trend, in principle, though it is rare that I think it’s actually executed well. I think Charlize’s dress could be pretty, if it weren’t so very boxy – but as it is, it’s very unflattering. Her makeup is gorgeous, though!

    K-Stew… OMG, no. No, no no nonono!!! Why did Marchesa put that random gross ruffle on her hips! The whole dress looks like a homemade Halloween costume.

  7. Stefanie


  8. laura

    Maybe it’s me, I know I have weird texture issues in which the most normal things sometimes gross me out, but KStew’s dress is seriously making me want to throw up! Ewwww!

    • gail

      It looks like she took a bunch of Rogaine by accident or that her next film is going to be about werewolves and she’s trying on the prosthetics.

  9. gin_in_teacups

    What? This is like an underpants parade. Nothing about either of those dresses is any good. And you know what? I don’t like Hemsworth’s shiny black shirt. If he had to wear a shiny black shirt, he should have done up one more button. I think what I’m saying here is it would have been better for us all if he’d just ditched the shirt.

  10. Katharine

    Oh, Kristen! WHITE panties? You’re not!

    Was this a situation where she thought to herself, “I sure don’t want anyone SPECULATING on the INTERNET that I’m not wearing underwear!”? Because if so, it was not well thought out.

    I actually don’t hate the dress on her. It’s revealing, but not in a particularly sexy way, and she’s small enough on top that it doesn’t look rude. It does have more than a taste of Formal Ice Dancer about it, though.

  11. Kit

    When I saw these last night, I was hoping you would talk about them. I can’t believe they both wore crazy Bellatrix leg curtain dresses!!!!

    On the surface, I agree, Charlize’s dress is less fug – but the WAY VISIBLE granny panties are neither Kristen’s vag ruffle, so it’s a draw as far as I’m concerned. (And the nude granny panties on the runway version were just as bad. Ugh.)

    That said there were some great pictures of the two of them together that looked like they genuinely like each other, which is fun.

    • Kit

      Hmmm… that’s supposed to be “neither greater than nor less than Kristen’s vag ruffle” but I guess it read my short form as html code and bahleeted it.

  12. Kate

    and why does Charlize look like Kiki in that last photo??

  13. jacey

    Kristen’s dress looks like a mold outbreak.

    And there are leggings attached to this thing. Looks like she’s shedding skin.

    • Amanda

      OMG! I was thinking that EXACT thing! To me it looked like she hadn’t bathed in a while (which is plausible considering it’s K.Stew) and had begun to sprout a virulent strain of mold from her armpits. Not the look most Hollywood starlets would covet, methinks.

      • ortenzia

        mold… or how ursula would have dressed if she had taken over ariel’s body instead of her voice in the little mermaid.

    • Karen

      Count me in on the mold outbreak front. That or a particularly egregious skin disease. Looking at that dress actually makes me physically uncomfortable.

      I was OK with Charlize’s dress until I saw the full length shot and the granny pants. I cannot for the life of me understand what would make a beautiful woman WANT to expose granny pants.

    • eee

      Black mold. That was exactly my first thought as well. Ick. Which is a shame, because KStew really IS pretty. So is Charlize. They really did bring the whackitude with these dresses, didn’t they? Good thing their heads are so beautiful.

      And FYI, I heard an entertainment reporter on the news this morning say that this movie is really good. At first I thought it just looked like a really pretty, albeit crazy, music video, but now I have hope that this will be worth seeing for something besides the visuals.

  14. LawyaGal

    Why isn’t he wearing a belt? What is with this beltless craze?

    Also: KStew is the last person on earth I would have thought would fall victim to Marchesa delirium. It’s a shame because she/her makeup look incredible.

    • jacey

      I actually don’t like her hair and make-up either. She looks kind of clammy and ill to me, complete with the sweaty hairline I get when I have the flu.

  15. jean

    Charlize looks like she is wearing a bathing suit with a very fancy cover-up. AND it cuts off her endlessly long legs. She should SUE.

    At least Kristen’s dress looks like some design effort was made. It’s horrible (especially the twee cheerleading skirt), but something is going on. It’s not just sheers over a bathing suit.

    Chris is a daddy already???? He’s already passed on those genes to posterity? Well done sir. And he can rock a widow’s peak hairline. Plus, and this is a sad state on young stars, he looks stunningly CLEAN. Like he’s been scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. It’s rather nice.

  16. Eliza Bennett

    OH my god. Kristen: Gothic Psoriasis. Charlize: Showgirl Funeralwear Spanx.

    • kb

      Gothic Psoriasis may be the funniest thing I’ll read all day. Also — decent band name.

  17. ac

    Please, just NO! I can’t believe there was no figure-skating comment what with all the lace and see-through fabric on K-Stew. GO AWAY MARCHESA!!! Please it’s just so FUG

  18. Softwear

    1. Charlize has had a baby for, what? Twelve days? She’s not really doing the cabin-fever bit, is she?

    2. That man? Is hot? That….man…with the…hair business up top? That guy? Smarmy McHalfasleep? Shudder.

    3. I basically like Kristen. I’m sure she’s regretting this dress. It’s not bad up top?? It’s a disease up top.

    • Eliza Bennett

      smarmy McHalfasleep made me snorfle. I saw him in Avengers and just…could not get it up for him. My friend was squeeing over him and I was just holding in my yawn.

  19. Linney

    It’s like a black mold eating her skin and spreading itself all over her body. And the hair needs a good washing. Letting it fly about doesn’t work well on her. I wish she would realize that.

  20. amys

    Both of these dresses should now be burned. I just realized there is more than one Hemsworth. Huh.

  21. Christian

    Can we please stop with the leg curtains, they flatter absolutely no one and make the dress look half finished.

  22. sarah

    Wow…those dresses are….yikes.

    Ps. How is it possible that Chris Hemsworth didn’t appear shirtless once in Avengers. It just seems unfair to have the guy work out that much for the roll and than not let him show it off. Right?

    • Adriana Ruud

      totally! went to see the avengers just to catch a sight of da man without shirt…sadly disappointed… anyways he’s the prettiest thing under the sun in the last 50 years… at least… and what a voice too!!!!!!!!! sigh… whatever. ;-)’

      • Jenn

        And you know, blond beefcake does NOT do it for me. So why on earth does Chris Hemsworth do it for me so much???

  23. MelissaW

    The Hems = looks so cool

    Charlize = eh, she at least looks modelly with nice hair/makeup even though it looks like she’s wearing a black beach coverup (the shot where she’s like “I need my purse holder” was pretty funny)

    Kristen = *sigh* It looks like she got attacked by a lace doily fungus that’s eventually going to choke her to death (and white knickers? really? her stylist needs to spend time in that dungeon with uggs and muffin tops). At least we got a pretty smile from her in one picture.

  24. TaraMisu

    Ok, you know my girl crush on KStew, but that dress is a bad news CAT scan. UGH.
    Charlize looks awful too, what the hell?

  25. Stubenville

    These just aren’t flattering and so much sheer just looks tacky, tacky, tacky. I don’t expect women to dress like sister wives, but would it kill them put on something more substantial than mosquito netting over their undies?

  26. Sandra

    Totally on board with the “K. Stew looks moldy” school of thought. My first notion was gangrene, but mold is certainly a strong contender. Charlize’s dress is just stupid, though it is indeed less wretched than Kristen’s. The guy, um, well, he kinda looks like a younger, more muscular Fabio. And believe me, that is not a compliment.

  27. Delta Sierra

    These dresses are utterly irredeemably horrible. Someone at the studio must have chosen them, maybe thinking pairing a short little woman and a tall woman in similar dresses would be… well, can’t imagine what, but, something. I bet both women burst in to either tears or gales of laughter when they unwrapped them.

    Dior: If you’re going to make a dress that is basically just underwear with some black sheer over top, at least make the underwear not have seams going so visibly in every direction.

    Marchesa: it’s just mean to put a flat-chested woman in a dress that looks like some evil deep sea oil-spill fungus ate her boobs.

    Tsk. I just hope these two poor women didn’t have to pay for these monstrosities.

  28. lindsay

    Giant. Vaginal. Moustache. Thank you.

  29. Feena

    Kristen’s is possibly the worst dress ever. That is all.

  30. corriner

    Is anyone else noticing that Kirsten’s face seems a bit… zombified? Not genetically or anything, that girl is ‘foooine’ in every sense of the word, but I feel like her makeup stylist decided to slather on a bunch of shiny grey foundation which is making her look… seasick.

    Also, that may possibly be the ugliest Marchesa I’ve ever seen. This shouldn’t be allowed to happen to people.

  31. Willow

    The negative space on K-Stew’s bodice looks like an alien doing gymnastics.

    I am so confused by that.

  32. Andre

    I am so writing a novel about Georgina Chapman going insane and killing young starlets at movie premiers and award ceremonies using the dresses she designs.
    Because let’s face it, every Marchesa dress looks like s torture contraption.

    It will be called “Sew”

  33. Zuzzie

    Vaginal Mustache. Thank you, it’s all I can see now :D

  34. Emo

    You must show the back of K.Stew’s dress! It’s crazballs

  35. Susan

    Chris: cute

    Charlize: very pretty

    Kristen: stunning

  36. Mariela

    Kristen’s looks like the B&W film version of Heidi Klum’s muscles costume.

    And Charlize? Represent for us tall girls! (but wear a slip next time, hon…)

  37. Bella

    Two of the ugliest dresses I’ve seen. They both look like they’re dressed for Halloween.

  38. Leeann

    In the last pic the dress makes Charlize look like her torso rotated fully and now her head is on backwards. Or maybe it’s just the way she’s standing with her elbows popped back …

  39. EAG46

    Kristen’s dress could have been saved if the skirt was, well, present. I see layers of black lace or chiffon so it can be floaty. Charlize’s dress was odd but not hideous. And Chris? Who cares what he was wearing, he’s just *drool*.

  40. Fifi

    Why does K-Stew always look like she’s never known the love of a shower and astringent. Yeah, the dress is hideous, but I can’t get over her greaseball look.

  41. Amber

    It never ceases to amaze me how a woman (and in this case, two women) would look good in a burlap sack would chose to wear things so hideously ugly. Do they want people to focus less on their beauty? I mean, come on. They surely have their choices of many, many dresses and THIS is what they get?
    Is it just me, or is this basically black tulle over underwear? With some lacy bits thrown in for Kristen? I could come up with something better, and I know nothing about fashion. Or design.

  42. taylor

    K-Stew’s dress is unbelievably bad. It may be the ugliest thing I’ve seen on this site (and that includes the “dresses” some of the people-who-want-to-be-noticed-RIGHT-NOW wear).

  43. Shiitake

    Giant Vaginal Moustache–The newest bikini wax salon styling

    The man in the tuxedo is the only one who gets off scot-free in that publicity line.

  44. Lauren

    I know I am in the minority here, but I like Charlize’s dress, but that is because she can wear a paper bag and I would think it was gorgeous. KStew, on the other hand, is a world of no.

    Also a world of no? KStew’s Snow White being more fair than Charlize’s witch. The only other person in that movie that can compete with Charlize for fairest is the Thor/ Huntsman aka the hotter Hemsworth brother.

  45. Dizzy

    What an ugly Marchesa dress.

  46. G

    Kristen’s excellent makeup and pretty face do not make up for that horrible mess below the neck. Her crotch has a Hitler mustache and her arms and chest are afflicted by the worst case of mildew I’ve ever seen. In comparison our view of Charlize’s black underpants seems almost reasonable.

    • G

      And Kristen’s dress makes her legs look like overstuffed white sausages.

      I hope she fires her stylist.

  47. kate b.

    i look at k. stew and all i can think of is gozer the destructor, all gussied up. which means i’m now trying very hard NOT to think of the stay-puft marshmallow man. just in case…

  48. Mila

    Apparently I’m the only person who loves BOTH of these dresses and thinks they’re insanely sexy. Maybe the rest of you are just old and boring ;)

  49. guerra

    Charlize won this dress off!! I actually find it sexy on her. Kristens is one of the worst dresses I have seen ever.

  50. Kara K

    I love that K-Stew is actually putting in the effort to play up the part of Girly for this movie. I don’t think I saw her feet but I’m pretty sure she’s even wearing a pretty heel!

    So I give her a B for effort, A for the makeup, C for the actual dress and A+ for totally coordinating the crazy with Charlize.

  51. Flora

    There are pics from this premiere in which Kristen is wearing TRAINERS under the Marchesa dress. Not the after-party, the premiere. She’s signing autographs on the red carpet and everything.

  52. leggygal

    Ladies, shade cloth for your lady bits is not a look that I can sign off on.

  53. Amanda

    This has nothing to do with the clothes, Did any one see the guy in the bushes in slide 6. He’s all like ” Don’t mind me back here, just hanging out….. and there is no mustache on this side :)

  54. Jilly

    Dear Kristen,
    Call Charlize and have her give you lessons in proper posture. RIGHT F-ING NOW!!!!!

    P.S. That dress is hideous.

  55. Molly

    Charlize has better shoes and posture than Kristen. Otherwise, ACK! to both dresses.

  56. TonyG

    If only the bottom half of Charlize’s dress were not see through, I’d love it.

  57. wordphreak

    No, Charlize’s dress is hideous. They’re both hideous. They shouldn’t have left the house like that.

  58. lori

    Is it just me, or does Hemsworth look like Alison Sweeney’s twin??,0,2766764.story

  59. Zoe

    I feel terrible saying this, but at first glance I thought Charlize was Katherine Heigl.

  60. bella

    all i see is chris hemsworth <3

  61. Anna Maria Cárcamo

    I actually like Charlize’s..she’s so beautiful and the dress would be really beautiful if it were less transparent. Kristen’s I hat, I dislike her whole ersona and rarely enjoy what she wears..she’s like the worst dresses spoiled brat ever, an it’s a pity because she had potential to be really pretty..

  62. Helen

    I’m sorry, I think Hemsworth is wearing far too much makeup. Of course a little powder for the camera is a good idea, but he’s looking nearly as spackled as Kristen Stewart here.

  63. Lily1214

    K Stewart’s gown (from a distance) appears to have two large black hands covering her breasts.