Several important updates on former Fug Madness Cinderella story Ryan Cabrera:
1) He still treasures peace;
2) His hair still looks like he ran afoul of someone’s electric cattle prod; and, which I PROMISE is not an April Fool’s joke…
3) He has a new tattoo OF RYAN GOSLING’S FACE. I’m sure Gosling at least appreciates that he’s being showcased next to some VERY Gosling red velvet shoes. But son, if you basically live your live by the mantra of “You Think I WANT That Tattoo? No — I Am Simply Beholden To The Rules of Tattoo Roulette,” then you took a wrong turn at the intersection of Yes and HUH.