Ryan Fugbrera


Several important updates on former Fug Madness Cinderella story Ryan Cabrera:

1) He still treasures peace;

2) His hair still looks like he ran afoul of someone’s electric cattle prod; and, which I PROMISE is not an April Fool’s joke…

3) He has a new tattoo OF RYAN GOSLING’S FACE. I’m sure Gosling at least appreciates that he’s being showcased next to some VERY Gosling red velvet shoes. But son, if you basically live your live by the mantra of “You Think I WANT That Tattoo? No — I Am Simply Beholden To The Rules of Tattoo Roulette,” then you took a wrong turn at the intersection of Yes and HUH.

[Photo: WENN]

 

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Comments (54):

  1. Carrie
    0

    HE IS A NATIONAL TREASURE.

  2. Anna Svahn
    0

    Wasn’t he over a long time ago? What is he doing still getting photographers’ time?

  3. Maggie
    0

    His hair doesn’t even look real. Love his flamingo socks and velvet shoes.

  4. Matt
    0

    To borrow a phrase from Archer’s Pam, HOLY SHITSNACKS!

    • Helen
      0

      And a comment from the inestimable, gentle, malodorous Kazak (whom I think Pam should adopt – they’re practically a matched set):

      “Fweet.”

  5. Stefanie
    0

    OMG. I sorta forgot about him.

    Has his head always been that big? It looks super extra large.

  6. Kristen from MA
    0

    Who is this person?! What is wrong with his hair?!

    • Helen
      0

      He used to go out with Ashlee Simpson, and, I don’t know.

      • Becky
        0

        He also went out with the brunette from the Hills. I think he made a career of being a boyfriend on reality tv. And I dunno, I guess music?

        • Kat
          0

          His music is actually not bad (at least the acoustic stuff that I’ve heard). HE, however, is insufferable. THAT HAIR.

  7. Cassandra
    0

    That tattoo game is hilariously stupid. I dig it.

  8. Laura
    0

    It’s like he has some weird variation of a mullet going on…. it’s really confusing.

  9. Margot Liggett Nack
    0

    Good god. This guy is such a WRECK!

  10. Jeanie
    0

    YES! Thank you so much for the update! I was wondering about him!

  11. Tiffany
    0

    That is some awful hair.
    To be honest…it kind of reminds me of the male hair trends in country music right now (see The Band Perry). It is like a “hair metal mash up with Ryan Seacrest flat-iron” phase is sweeping the south. Maybe Ryan Cabrera caught the bug?

  12. Art Eclectic
    0

    We appear to have entered a brave new world when the men fug with equal vivacity as the women. Rock on, boys.

  13. Nikki Sicks
    0

    I thought I had some dumb and random tattoos. Not so much compared to this guy.

  14. Lynne
    0

    Umm… I don’t understand this event. He is standing in front of a backdrop littered with his signature. Please don’t tell me someone named something after him.

    I like to think that the sisters Simpson occasionally have heart-to-hearts along the following lines:
    Jessica: Seriously, Ash. John Mayer. What was I thinking?
    Ashlee: Uh… I see your Mayer and raise you Ryan Cabrera.
    Jessica: Yeah, you win.

    • Jen S 2.0
      0

      **snortlaugh!** @ “Yeah, you win.”

      I seriously just can’t even with this whole persona. I mean, what is HAPPENING in this photo? On second thought, no, don’t answer that, I don’t want to know.

  15. Eric Rezsnyak
    0

    This post made my day. Bless your heart, Ryan Cabrera! That phrase was invented just for you, kid.

  16. Miriam
    0

    I love that all the “Related” links below the post are for Ryan Gosling!

  17. Carol
    0

    It looks like a six-year-old did half of those tattoos … who in their right mind … oh well, answered my own question.

  18. Andrew S.
    0

    I cannot. I CANNOT, Ryan!

    If you insist on spiking your hair, you need to CUT IT FIRST. And I’m not sure if this look is better or worse than the blonde tips.

    I just……I just don’t know you guys…..

  19. Vandalfan
    0

    He does seem to embody the concept of tattoo roulette. He participates with a Sharpie, possibly, or those elegant Lady Bics.

  20. gryt
    0

    His hair looks like The Incredible Hulk’s (the original).

    • Frances
      0

      YES IT DOES!!!

      sorry, i didn’t mean to shout. just kind of overwhelmed by the realization.

    • Erin
      0

      It also reminds me of Ralph’s on Wreck It Ralph.

  21. holly
    0

    Anybody else see shades of Richard Simmonds here?

    • maryse
      0

      YES!!!!!! curl that boy’s hair and put him in short shorts and he’s a young richard simmons for sure.

    • Maisie
      0

      YES! I had the same immediate impression: a young Richard Simmons who’d straightened his seriously bad ‘fro.

  22. Mara
    0

    Words. I do not have them.

    I am, however, super curious about The Gosling’s response to this.

    “Hey, girl. I can’t wait to run my fingers through your h– HOLY CRAP WHAT IS GOING ON ON YOUR HEAD AND ALSO ARE YOU A DUDE.”

  23. theotherjennifer
    0

    ass.hat

  24. Ms Poopy Von Pants
    0

    Hahaha! I have no clue who this person is but reading these comments made me guffaw at work on a Monday. No small feat. “Incredible Hulk”, “Richard Simmons”, “hair metal mash up with Ryan Seacrest flat-iron”…. too funny. Fug Nation, you are all hilarious, thank you!

  25. Katharine
    0

    Tattoo roulette is a thing? – might explain some of the dodgy tattoos people sport … HUH indeed.

  26. Chris P
    0

    I was WONDERING what could be more fugly than whatever Rita Ora stumbled out the house wearing today. THANKS FOR REMINDING ME OF YOUR EXISTENCE, RYAN CABRERA.

  27. Claire
    0

    He looks exactly the same except a little chubbier. That hair…no. I just shook my head and went back to the homepage but I had to come back and comment. Thanks for sharing with us what Ryan was up to these days. The hair!!!!

    • AMS
      0

      Claire, perhaps it’s the late hour, or possibly the martini, but I just read your comment as “He looks exactly the same except a little douchier.” True that!

  28. Ladyblahblah
    0

    To think that Kevin Ware gave up a leg bone to Elite 8 basketball when this jackass is walking around healthy and silly-haired with all his legbones available and willing to tattoo idiocy just irritates me.

  29. fugbretta
    0

    richard simmons jr.

  30. Lolo
    0

    I immediately thought — Richard Simmons and Criss Angel love child. Ack!

  31. Amanda
    0

    From the front, it looks like he has a spiked pageboy haircut.