Reb’l Fug/Met Ball Fug Carpet: Rihanna

The other day — or week, I can’t tell anymore — Rihanna wore this gown with a neverending train. It, like Celine Dion’s heart, goes on and on. I can’t imagine being able to move around in that thing without slinging it over my shoulder like a bodybag. And while I have no practical life experience with lugging corpses hither and yon, I’m going to creep out on this limb over here and suggest that it’s probably significantly less comfortable than carrying a purse.

Perhaps this explains why RiRi ended up going a tiny bit more minimal with the fabric at the Met Ball. Of course, with Rihanna, even “a tiny bit more minimal” is … well, maximal.

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Comments (25):

  1. Deli

    WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER!!!!?!!?!?!?

  2. freebird

    I hate the braid and yet it had funk potential. Just ended up looking waaaay cheap. I actually like the dress on her, but that geography joke was so worth it.

  3. SharonCville

    I am full of love for you guys, but that’s twice in just a few days that you have misidentified a “chapel length” train. A chapel length train is, in fact, a short train (because chapels are comparatively small spaces). A cathedral length train is the most elegant– it’s what Catherine wore last Friday. That thing that Diana sported lo those many years ago AND that monstrosity that Rihanna wore are Royal trains (also called “Monarch” trains), which is pretty self-explanatory and, in my humble opinion, infinitely stupid. To me it says, “Look! I’m rich/important enough to waste a couple of tablecloths worth of expensive material by dragging it around on the floor!”

  4. Sara L.

    I’m pretty sure the dress is fully lined, looking at the picture of her picking up the hem of it. That silky bronze colored stuff is the lining, and probably goes all underneath the lace. If it just lined the bottom part, well, that would be silly, and wouldn’t drape correctly. So what you are probably seeing is just the shadow of the Prime Meridian, since the dress is skin tight.

  5. Electric Landlady

    I have a question: are those spots on the back of her neck a tattoo, or is she just disguised as Jadzia Dax for the night?

    Also, I just know that I would be the one to accidentally step on the twenty-foot train and be mortified.

  6. Carolina Girl

    How can such a beautiful girl with an enviable figure consistently do this to herself? Rihanna is nobody’s lard ass but in that third picture the dress makes her look kinda fat.

  7. Cecily

    I’d like to move that Rihanna put it away. Do I hear a second?

  8. Kate

    I’m with you, Cecily. I get it, she’s hot. She can put it away now. When did a little mystery become a bad thing?

  9. Sajorina

    Her face looks great, her makeup is beautiful, but why does she have to ruin it with that stupid braid? Plus, the dress and the shoes are so freaking FUG!

    And, I’m tired of ilusion netting; I would like to get the entire world’s supply and burn it!

  10. Jeneric

    I saw this photo(s) on another site and thought, “‘I’ve seen this dress before…” It took coming here before I realized I have. On every season of Dancing With the Stars.

  11. Lindy

    The cheap Claire’s earrings really top off the whole look to perfection! And,the star tattoos on her back along with the cheap Jessica Simpson Hair U Wear braid makes her look not quite human.

  12. Bonnie

    She is basically so pretty, but I am distracted by the peculiar hair/wing and odd dress. Maybe beautiful people find it boring to look good now?

  13. marcia

    I have heard that S&M song like, 3 times now, and so I officially OVER Rihanna. If you are so stupid that you can’t be trusted to sing a chorus AND some verses, then you do not deserve to be famous. Seriously. It’s 20 words over and over and over and over.

  14. amy t.

    With the exception of that train that never ends, I thought Rhianna looked the best I’d seen her in ages in that dress. And then… The netting nastiness and hair that could be the star of a show called “Hair Wars: Rapunzel vs. Raggedy Anne.”

    Actually, I’d probably watch a show called Hair Wars…

  15. Cecily

    Thanks, Kate! Motion is carried. *if only*

  16. vandalfan

    SharonCville, thank you! The “chapel length” references have been bugging me. Come on, a CHAPEL is small, a CATHEDRAL is big. How difficult is this? I wish RiRi had listened to me about No More Black Lace Overlay. I’ll add to that No More Stupid Braids.

  17. Lana

    Aren’t we all done with Rihanna wearing a dress that gives the ilusion of her being naked? No, just me?

    We get it Rihanna, you are hot and your body is bananas.

  18. jenny

    Avatar tail?

  19. Anne B

    (blinking away tears)

    She’s just a treasure. :)

  20. Lina

    Is she over yet? Please? Because I’m finding her self-importance so tiresome.

  21. Bambi Anne Dear

    Coty event: too gorgeous. Other event: trash bag. Her face is particularly gorgeous here though.

  22. yeahandalso

    *rolls eyes*

  23. maria

    Her eyes are beautiful. I, and I can’t believe I’m saying this because I’m SO against tattoos, kind of really like the sweep of the neck tattoo with the sweep of the one-shoulder dress.

    Now I think there’s something really wrong with me because I also usually hate one-shoulder/one-sleeve clothing.

    The braid is very poorly executed. I don’t mind her shoes.

  24. Tigger

    She does have a very pretty face. Strangely, something about her pose and expression in that last photo really remind me of Kate Hudson. anyone else?

  25. Lynette

    I like her shoes.