Oscars Fug/CRAZY Party: Madonna

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? Madonna. Dude. We know. You are lately feeling somewhat irrelevant — what with Lady Gaga and all. But you don’t one-up someone who shows up places in AN EGG by going out wearing one of Britney’s cast-offs. SERIOUSLY. LOOK AT YOUR LIFE. LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES.

Leave a reply

Comments (47):

  1. Alli

    Fishnets are not pants! And I don’t even think you can call the other things she has on “hotpants” – I think there are called “panties”. Blech, giant FAIL.

  2. A.J.

    You know what I find fugly? Well, besides the whole outfit, is the fact that she wore fishnets with the lacy outer dress thing. So its basically see-through lace over more see-through “lace.”

  3. Rebecca

    The yahoos on E!’s Fashion Police were RAVING about this and how great she looked and how it’s totally okay because she’s MADONNA. There are some things that even Madonna can’t and shouldn’t get away with, and this is one of them.

  4. amy

    I watched Fashion Police last night and they were all “Ooh, it’s Madonna! She can do no wrong! She’s totally pulling this off!” Is everyone so terrified of her that the only reaction is to suck up no matter what she wears?

    I also find it very suspicious that she’s dressed like this while out with her beautiful young appropriately dressed daughter. ‘Look at ME!”

    The only appropriate venue for this is a Fredrick’s of Hollywood catalog.

  5. TaraMisu

    I watched FP also and I was like WTH? NO ONE should be seen in this “outfit”. On the other hand, Lola looks great!

  6. Kate

    Good grief. She dressed more conservatively in her heyday, when she was a promiscuous twenty-something. It’s possible to be an older, sexy lady, Madonna. This isn’t the way. Give Helen Mirren a ring, would you?

  7. shebrihart

    I was wondering how long it would take you to yell at Madonna for this. I thought it was bad before I saw her @$$ cheeks. Holy hell woman, your 14 year old daughter is more covered up than you are, and her dress is on the short side. I don’t care if you ARE Madonna, teach your daughters about decency by example!

  8. vandalfan

    OK, I’ll bite. With a proper covering from waist to upper thigh, like a pencil skirt, and minus the BIG furry vest? No. It’s a leotard covered with a negligee. Not nowhere, not nohow.

    On the positive side, if Gwynneth Paltrow’s hair was this shiny and full of body, I’d have liked her Oscar look.

  9. Chicklet

    Sweet Aphrodite on a cracker, lady, when your fourteen-year-old daughter looks more mature than you do and SHE’S wearing a dress that barely covers her butt, it’s time to Reexamine Your Life.

  10. Wendy

    Am I the only one who thinks Lola’s dress is far too short for a 14-year-old? It’s not even a dress. It’s a top. Without pants.

  11. Elise

    Wow. So sad to see Madonna so desperate. And so clearly panicked about having a daughter who is young and hot. Get over it, lady! The best way to deal with having a daughter who is young and hot is by dressing beautifully and age-appropriately. No one wants to look at your ass anymore!

    OK, I feel a bit better now.

  12. sarrible

    Are they both wearing the same shoes?

  13. Lina

    Remember when she used to make music? I miss that.

  14. SD

    LOVE Sassy Gay Friend!!!

  15. Jen

    Looks great from the neck up but from the neck down? Madge I love you but this is made of NO!

  16. AndersonicTK426

    hm, Madonna birthed a Kardashian? I hadn’t realized…

  17. Fuh Ugh

    The old bag’s finally lost it. Well, she lost her pants at the very least, but I’d argue she’s lost her hard fought “dignity” as well. Hard to think a gal who dry humped the MTV stage could have any dignity anyway, but 15 years of faux English accent, castle wedding, and children’s books have just gone out the window.

    And, look at picture 4 … I think her plastic surgery is showing!

    @Andersonic, I thought the same thing – the daughter looks like the jr. Kardashians – you know, the ones with no boobs or butt and named “Jenner.”

  18. Fuh Ugh

    @Lina – if you miss her music, just listen to Gaga’s “Born This Way.” If that’s not a dead ringer for a Madonna song, I don’t know what is.

  19. AnaBe

    OF COURSE Fashion Police said she looked great. Madonna is Kelly Osbourne’s BOSS.. Kelly is smart enough not to shit where she eats. And it looks like Madonna and Joan Rivers are sharing a plastic surgeon. No one has addressed her jacked up face so I’ll do it. WTF, Madonna? Desperate ladies are never attractive (have you seen Cameron Diaz lately?) but desperate old ladies with their asses hanging out are even worse. I totally called this one: mutton dressed as lamb with her gristle on parade topped by a weird, jacked up face. It’s even sadder if you remember when it seemed like Madonna was the coolest person in the world and you worshiped her.

  20. rosemary

    motherofgawd. i know they are a height challenged bunch but L’s dress is a smidge too short. for the Mama, beyond speech on that get up. perhaps an ensem she forgot to wear 25 yrs ago and figures not too late to amortize the cost.

  21. Molly

    Chin and cheek implants? Cheek on the face, btw.

    My husband and daughter both pegged “Born this Way” as “Express Yourself”.

  22. Gigi


  23. edamame

    No. No. No.
    Lola’s dress makes me instantly think of crazy Kelly Bensimon. (waaaaaaay too short!)
    Contrary to FP, even Madonna can’t pull this off.
    Hang it up.

  24. Angela Gyetvan

    Seems to be the skimpier cousin of the outfit she wore to this party in 2009. Maybe she’s going to keep removing pieces year by year, so that by the time she’s 60, she’ll be showing up in nothing but a bandeau top and custom-made bikini bottoms from Gaultier’s new “Moderne Grannypants” label. I know from experience that anything you can do to embarrass your teenage progeny is worth the effort.

  25. Katie

    Madonna’s outfit reminds me of the scene in “A League Of Their Own,” when they’re trying to get publicity for the team, and Madonna’s character suggests that during the game she let her uniform pop open to have “my bosoms come flying out? That, that might draw a crowd, right?” Rosie O’Donnell’s character reminds her that all the men in America have already seen her bosoms.

    You already showed us, Madonna, lots of times.

    On the other hand, she looks awesome with the weight she’s gained!

  26. Sally

    OK, guys. Look at the last picture, the close up of her butt. Please tell me her pants (panties?) are not pulling apart at the seam. Because it really look like her pants (panties?) are pulling apart at the seam.

  27. Share

    This drew a distressed gasp from me. On closer inspection: Madonna’s face looks great, her butt cheeks look great (I still don’t want to see them), but the outfit – it does nothing for her. The hot-pants look like grannie panties, so I’m getting an “older-lady-in-grannie-panties” vibe under the lace. Lace can be sexy, but not when it is serving as peek-a-boo for grannie panties. In fact, the whole outfit under the lace looks like it could double for a swimsuit you’d wear at the club in Boca, with someone’s funereal window dressing draped on top. It’s just a heaping pile of No with a No chaser.

  28. Cat

    Wow, this outfit just reeks of sadness and desperation. Madonna looks great for her age– she’s got a banging body. So why wear this sad trainwreck of an “outfit”? It’s one thing to go crazy ala HBC, but another to go the way of Taylor Momsen. Yuck.

    Lola’s dress needs a couple inches added to the hem, but otherwise, so much better than her mom.

  29. Diane

    This old has been doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘embarrassing.’

  30. yeahandalso

    I really like Lourdes’s dress but wish it had an extra 2-3 inches on it. I do like that she seems pretty normal and well adjusted though, and I hope she keeps those eyebrows as her trademark

  31. Beth

    The great thing is that there were photos elsewhere of Lourdes, walking behind her mother’s bare butt, where she’s self-consciously smoothing the back of her dress, as if to say “Oh what has she done to me, I hope at least MY dress stays down, it is down right? Let’s check.”

    Madonna might want to consider some curl to her hair. Straightening it is just drawing attention to the fillers in her face and the bit of droop in her chin. Sorry, Madge, but we wouldn’t talk about your age so much if you didn’t constantly look so desperate to defy it. Or we might, but only in a “she looks awesome” way.

  32. Rayna

    Gaaah. How sad.

    @Lina – RIGHT???

    Good luck to sweet little Lola. Yes, she could use a few more inches on her skirt, but how will she learn anything about modesty from her mom???

  33. Sajorina

    I’m sorry, but this is the ‘Queen of Pop’ and she can wear whatever the hell she wants! At least Madonna shows her butt-cheeks on her videos, the Red Carpet or on-stage while performing; while Lady Gaga shows hers and more on airports, baseball stadiums, walking on the streets, the cover of Rolling Stone, etc… And, I’m tired of it!

    I ♥ Madonna, I like her dress and I think she looks FABULOUS!!! Still, I wish she had taken the fur vest off for some of the Red Carpet pictures!

  34. anonymoose

    saw this and thought a kardashian was photobombing madonna’s red carpet moment.

  35. Emster

    This is a classier (for lack of a better word) version of Britney’s Grammy 2010 sheer dress/swimsuit monstrosity. At least Gaga would either wear an actual coat or not play at modesty with a wrap…

  36. Krusticle

    Such glossy healthy hair on Lola! Oh, to be 14 again.

  37. Sandy

    So after all these years of ‘vogue’ and ‘like a virgin’ and a hundred reinventions of yourself Madonna, the best you can come up with now is ‘mother humiliating her adolescent daughter’?? Girlfriend, I did that years ago!

  38. Corrine

    Look into pants!

  39. Fuh Ugh

    And fortheloveofgod, this is a REPEAT for Madonna. She’s been seen in the same basic thing twice now. Oh big deal, she added fishnets and faux fur…


  40. G

    I’ve just got to say that the daughter’s beautiful black hair that looks so fine with her dark eyes and eyebrows makes mom’s over-processed straw look even worse.

  41. Kat

    Also, is anybody else reminded of that creepy mother-daughter-witches sub-plot of Buffy when Lourdes’ Macy’s fashion line is all EIGHTIES-themed? And named for one of her mum’s eighties songs? What, that was all Lourdes’ idea? I’m so sure. OMG, superstar lady, you were SO self-assured once. Please release that knuckly, tendony, vise-like grip on your younger days and be confident in who you are NOW!

  42. Kitty Kat

    Wow, i don’t know what you guys are banging on about! She looks absolutely stunning and that dress is beautiful! Just get over it you sad jealous bitches!

  43. Darin

    She looks fantastic! No matter what she wore the person who wrote the write-up would have managed to work in a Lady Gaga dig–what a knowledgeable fashion critic he/she is!

    Love the textures, the layers, the contrasts. It’s edgy in all the right ways and very Madonna. Lourdes looks great as well–very proud of the two of them!

  44. Lindy

    Nice thing to teach your daughter, Madge!

  45. Shnaggi

    Yes I prefer the ‘English’ Madge diligently spruiking her kiddies book…Sigh. This is Mid-life crisis in a big way. Why not try another movie? Try Directing, learn an instrument, build an orphanage. You have the money why resort to parading yourself this way….Don’t become a caricature of your former self.

  46. ChaChaheels

    Tragic. And comic, too.

  47. Lily1214

    Actually, they both look pretty nice.