Fugtrospective: The Year In Bieber

Basically, we couldn’t resist any excuse to run this photo. But asid from the fact that the fixation with his hair makes him the male version of The Rachel these days, it’s actually sort of fascinating to flip through A Year In The Life, because I SWEAR by the end he looks older. Which he’s supposed to, but still. It’s the magic of slideshows.

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Comments (56):

  1. melanie

    I regret that as much as I enjoy your Retrospectfugs, I have to skip this one because Bieber just creeps me out too much.

  2. Libby

    I have to say, the upsweep works because it actually makes him look like a guy.

    Your references to Rechel kept confusing me because I automatically pictured Rachel Maddow, not the iconic “Rachel” hairstyle. Here’s hoping that over the next few years the kid beefs up like Zack Efron (have you seen the “Lucky One trailer?)

    • Miranda

      Disagree. That hairstyle brings out the gay lady in his face (the earrings and the clothes are actually only reinforcing this). Probably the reason you kept thinking about Rachel Maddow is that he bears a bit of a resemblance.

      • Lindy

        Yes, he needs to stop with the earrings and the girlish clothing til he grows up and fills out a bit.

        But, he’s totally cute and wholesome.

      • Anne B

        OMG agree.

        Over the course of 2011, the Biebs came to look more and more like the girl who had a crush on my kid when she and her gf of two years first became an item. I mean, if that girl (who is striking in her own right) suddenly went on a juice fast.

        What disturbs me about this is that Bieber’s lesbian chic actually kind of makes me feel affection for him. But it’s not HIM I feel affection for! It’s the kind of graceful young woman who’d put on a tux and do the hair like a preemie Jack Dawson in Titanic!

        For the love of God, Biebs. Grow up already.

      • Eliza Bennett

        Preeeecisely. If Justine were really an awesome lesbian, I’d be so on board with her style (except for the shoes) you’d think I was talking about Helen Mirren. But …Justine only exists in a sort of slash fanfic for Selena Gomez in my head. So JustIN creeps me out.

      • Sajorina

        @Anne B: I feel no affection for him, but your “hair like a preemie Jack Dawson in Titanic!” absolutely killed me… Can’t stop laughing!!!

  3. Frances

    You know what I like most about this kid? He’s clean. Oh, I don’t care about his lyrics or his morals. I mean, he’s actually clean. His hair always looks washed. His clothes are clean and pressed. I feel like a lot of skeezy “stars” could learn from him. (I’m looking at you, Pattinson.)

    • Carolina Girl

      Oh, Frances, you read my mind! I am so sick of the unwashed, unkempt look (and it IS a look — it takes a lot of product to look messy!) sported by Pattinson and his ilk.
      But I keep wondering when Bieber is going to start shilling for Proactiv. I think his skin is absolutely wonderful. I don’t know what product he’s using, but someone should definitely get on that.

      • Jenna Horko

        Seriously, Carolina Girl, have you really not seen the endless Bieber Proactiv ads? You can’t get away from them. Been doing the rounds for at least a year now.

  4. Donna

    Is that a real, true-to-life, peach fuzz mustache I see in number 14? It’s more of a ‘woman who has bleached her upper lip in favor of paying to have the hair permanently removed by laser’ mustache than a man’s, but it’s there!

  5. Katie Lynn

    That last photo, where he is wearing the blue coat (that looks like a marching band leader’s), reminds me of something one of the New Kids on the Block would have worn way back when. As in, I’m pretty sure one of them actually DID.

  6. Patricia

    Oh, this is TOTALLY a Bieber sibling: http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/tyson_beckford_coaches_paul_wesley_vJjojjiCMaZoPKpedl3n5J
    The photo they use is just….SO Bieber.

  7. Sarah

    I can’t help but kind of like this kid. Maybe it’s the Canadian thing.

    Also, does anyone else watch 24/7: Rangers/Flyers? In last night’s episode, brand new fake boyfriend, Brian Boyle of the NY Rangers mentioned that his little brother has to copy ever single Bieber ‘do and somehow hearing his name come out of the mouth of that incredibly handsome, hockey-playing man only made me like Bieber a little bit more…

    I apologize for this unprevoked, over-exuberant display of true-north-strong-and-free patriotism.

  8. Stefanie

    “David Silver approach to life..” Oh that’s just awesome!

    I agree with who said the up’d bangs work because he looks like a guy. In fact in the second to last slide, I’d say he looks handsome. (But not in a weird pervy way. The way I would say my nephew looks handsome.)

  9. Christina

    You know what … I was having the same horrifying thought, Heather. He DOES look like he’s channeling Paul Wesley/Stefan Salvatore, and that just makes me sad because I want to continue liking Wesley/Salvatore. Wahhh.

  10. Miss Tee

    Picture 16? I get it. I’m ashamed, but I get it.

  11. Jessica

    He is so much cuter to me (and I mean this in the sense of “cuter to the 16 year old girl I used to be) with the sticky-uppy bangs. It’s the Stefan effect for sure.

  12. Wordphreak

    Well, you lost me with this one. Not even going there.

  13. Claire Zulkey

    I’m glad that puberty is actually catching up with him a little bit because he looked so disconcertingly female to me in the first third or so of these photos. I swear I’m not some jerk who’s all like MEN HAVE TO LOOK LIKE MEN! WOMEN HAVE TO LOOK LIKE WOMEN! But he just really threw me off there for a while.

  14. mt

    the last time earrings for a man were okay was the 90′s

    • GingerLover

      Oh no you didn’t, what time warp did you crawl out of?

      That said JB is wearing the sort of earrings that I see many young gay oriental men (I live in Vancouver) and also “rapper” types (not so much here in Van as EVERYWHERE) who think it gives them street cred or something. It certainly doesn’t do that for JB (I can’t call him the other thing, it feels too perv-y.)

      All that said… he’s like 12 years old. At least he looks twelve, and ewww – no interest in looking at more pictures of him. It’s just icky.

  15. Anne B

    HEATHER. Thank you for sharing the walk back to that Hot Summer Of 90210 with me.

    The Bigot was one of 90210′s few interesting characters. Her bigotry was so pervasive, and it meshed so well with her essential chilliness — but then she’d casually drop a metric ton of local knowledge about the grunion run on us, and I was like, Daaaammmnn. The Bigot knows stuff!

    Still, I knew it wasn’t The Bigot that I loved. It was Brandon. (“Was”? Who am I kidding? IS.)

    • steph527

      Loved all the 90210 references!! Still watch the repeats on soap net. Also, I like Justin- he does always look clean. Although my 9 yr old son says he HATES him- his hair was longer like his & now is shorter like his.

  16. Erin

    Is there a full-length shot of picture 16? Because I was ALMOST prepared to give him props for that one, until I realized that there is a 99.999% chance he is wearing those gawd-awful puffy high-top shoes that he wears with EVERY outfit, regardless of formality. Just knowing those shoes are almost certainly lurking below that otherwise-nice outfit makes me unable to sign off on it.

  17. Karen

    I can’t even go into how unappealing I find this boy, because it would make me have to think about him more than I wish to.

    No, instead I wish to speak about the packaging for his PERFUME.

    W.T.F. That massive mockup in photo #7 made it pretty clear that on the female naughty bits continuum it has slid waaay past Georgia O’Keeffe flower painting all the way into Alan Moore’s Lost Girls. Are we not supposed to realize he’s topped off his bottle with female genitalia?

    • Stefanie

      I KNOW! My first thought was of Dakota Fanning’s perfume ad that had the bottle between her legs. Hello? Bieber is doing the same thing! It’s just in his hand!

  18. Molly

    “…I wore my best bangs…”

    LOL!! I scared the dog I laughed so loud.

    Y’know? Does this kid ever smile like he means it? Like he really ENJOYS life and all it has? Where his smile lights up his eyes and illumines his soul?

    I might like him more if he smiled like that.

  19. Kit

    Although he’s starting to look more like a boy; he’s still “America’s Favourite Lesbian” to me. I just can’t get away from it. I like him more as a lesbian, actually. :)

  20. val.

    I feel bad for him– he’s just so *pretty*. Not necessarily an adjective a teenage boy wants to be associated with.

  21. Fuh Ugh

    So he aged from 12 to 12 and half in the pictures. I’ve never seen a kid look so prepubescent at (allegedly) 17.

  22. SewDucky

    All I see with this kid is how much my son and he look alike.

    Which is sad, cause I like my kid.

  23. vandalfan

    Y’all are SO harsh on the poor kid! He’s as charming as any patrol leader in many a Boy Scout Troop. They’re just- I dunno, pretty at that age. No wonder Shakespeare used them as the ladies.

    I cut him lots of slack, not so much because he’s 16 or 17, but because he’s caught up in the Disney machine and I hope he doesn’t get crushed in those heavy gears. Plus, he’s quite a talented drummer and, as Sarah noted, he’s Glorious and Free.

  24. TonyG

    I’m with vandalfan on this one. He’s been so marketed since he was what…13? Not a fan of his music, but fashion wise, give him time and hopefully he will break away and find an identity that is neither Disney’s, Def Jam’s, KANYE’s, Usher’s, or his mother’s, but his own.

  25. Linda

    Awww, the Biebs completely brings out the maternal in me. I think he is adorable and seems like a good kid. My worry is that he is constantly working and has no time just to be a teenager. I wish he would take a break and concentrate on getting a good education.

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  28. marie

    i dont want the world to end next year, if only for the fact that i would want to read a tell-all interview from the Bieb, ten years from now about what’s really going on..and i do agree with what TLo 9 (tom and lorenzo.com) has always said about him, that they cant really hate on him because they know he’s gonna find this embarrassing maybe 10-15 years from today

  29. Sajorina

    I’m skipping this one… I can’t stand to look at the Bratber for the time it takes to see the whole slideshow! The fact that I can’t tell still if it is a girlish-boy or a boyish-girl is torture enough! Oh, and, EW!

  30. ChaChaHeels

    What the hell has happened to adolescent girldom, I ask you? When I was a young ‘un, we could recognize a sexy young man, and we knew good hair when we saw it: Charlie Sexton, fer example (look here: http://img.coxnewsweb.com/C/06/69/95/image_1795696.jpg). Tall, dark, slim, and supernaturally handy with the guitar. Sexton was all danger, all seduction, all wit, and incidentally, the same age as this little piker, who talks a lot of ignorance and Jesus and is about as sexy and talented as diapers.

    Yeah, yeah, my fist is waving and I’m out to defend my lawn from the likes of you, but heaven knows I’m right about this. The future of womanhood does not look good.

  31. Seamyst

    The spiked-bangs look was a thing… back in the late ’90s. I thought it looked stupid then, as a girl in my early teens, and I think it looks stupid now. Please please PLEASE don’t let that look be coming back…

  32. Em

    Ugh. I feel kind of bad saying this, but I hate that kid.

  33. exquisite red

    You mentioned the Church Lady…PLEASE tell me you’ve seen the Church Lady skit with Bieber. It’s the first thing he’s done that I’ve actually liked! But after reading comments, I have to agree that I like that he actually looks “clean” as in that he’s washed himself. See, male celebs? It is possible to have styled hair that also looks clean!

  34. Cranky Old Batt

    I never noticed before but this soft butch dyke has one ugly little piggy nose.

  35. NYCGirl

    Wait. There are 20-somethings who are into him?!

  36. crystal

    Captain of the varsity snowflake squad! Heehee!

  37. Emma

    Dear Justin,

    A few tips for looking less like a middle-aged tomboy (I’m not going to say lesbian, because I don’t know any lesbians who dress this badly):

    1. Stop borrowing earrings from your mom. In fact, stop wearing earrings.
    2. Groom your hair less. I don’t know if you ever actually hang out with other guys, but most of them don’t use hairdryers.
    3. Ditch the glasses. The oversized black-rimmed glasses do not look ironic enough on you.
    4. About the moustache – you can’t grow one, dude. So just don’t.
    5. It might be time to get a new stylist.
    6. Break up with Selena Gomez. Seeing you two together sort of creeps me out. This has nothing to do with your actual image, it’s just a personal favour for me.

  38. heather

    In #14, my first thought was: “OMG BABY LEONARDO DI CAPRIO!!!” Of course, that momentary relief was shattered by the next shot, which made me think he must be singing “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” >_<

  39. Caroleena Stantonova

    He’s always been flotsam to me!